A  mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was  nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope,  propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Mum'.   With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter,  with trembling hands.


'Dear,  Mum.

It is with great regret and  sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend,  because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and  you.

I've been finding real passion  with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her,  because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and  because she is so much older than I am..

But it's not only the passion,  Mum. She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very  happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for  the whole winter.  We share a dream of having many more  children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the  fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for  ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all  the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that  science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better.  She sure  deserves it!!

Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I  know how to take care of myself.  Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to  visit, so you can get to know your many  grandchildren.

Love, your son,  Nicholas.


PS: Mum, none of the above is  true. I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that  there are worse things in life than

the school report that's on my  desk.

I love  you!

Call when it is safe for me to  come home