Sadly not everyone thinks that way Jaahn.

"Common courtesy I would think !!" courtesy, not a word in the vocabulary of many nowadays.

If I respond to a question it is because I am trying to help. Nothing conditional there, the OP can offer gratitude if they want but I am not precious enough to expect it. In many cases, I don't even go back to the thread to see how the question panned out for the OP.

Iza

I think that human interchange in the modern internet era is vastly different from pre internet.

In barely one generation we have introduced texts and text talk, shortened words, chat rooms or personal messaging whereby people you chat to break off without telling you and you wait for a reply...when it finally comes.."oh, I've been cooking dinner" lol

And so the "thanks in advance" is an extension of this. Common courtesy therefore is for the older generation and at 62yo I'm part of that!. I too get annoyed that new posters don't reply but it is the norm now and Izabarack is right to reply without expectations...its not courteous from many a old fashioned perspective though. I think its a case of some running with technological advancements and others lagging behind.

I was walking along a main street in 40 degree heat. A young mum with 3 kids had a flat tyre. I toiled changing it for her without her saying much. I finished and she drove off without a word. Talk about deflated! Then a week later a guy approached me in a supermarket. It was her husband and she pointed me out to him. He thanked me and offered to buy me a coffee and we sat for 45 minutes chatting. They were so appreciative. A contrast to that very hot day. Although disappointed that day I changed her wheel because it was the right thing to do not for accolades. We answer new members here because we like helping and they just might end up, one day, as the longest serving member?

Abreviations (acronyms) can be a bit of a mystery. I'm still not sure what OP (which is used in this topic) stands for. Also, lol is apparently short for many sayings.

OP - Original Poster


Post Info
TOPIC: A forum is a two way communication ! A conversation even :)


Jaahn
Guru
Status: Offline
Posts: 760
Date: 11:29 AM Mar 9, 20

Hi smile

There are a lot of good discussions and topics brought up here on this forum. Sometimes they stir excess discussion, but that shows people care I guess. Sometimes they wander far and wide, to fizzle out somewhere else. Sometimes just an information link to an interesting article.aww

My irritation is the ones that come fron newbies who join, ask a question, sometimes technical, and after lots of good answers(usually) the poster never bothers to reply, or even bothers to come back at all. That does not encourage any interaction or discussion and discourages people from bothering to answer casual question at all. I would think it is not much to ask to acknowlege the answers and say I did that and it worked(or not) hmm Common curtesy I would think !!

Jaahn



LOL - Laugh Out Loud

 

Izabarack wrote:

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 I guess this is the bit that annoys me; the unexplained, insulting, unsupported assumption that those who do not return to explicitly express gratitude for an answer of varying quality, are lacking manners.   Many responses to questions are just plain wrong.   Standards of what constitutes common courtesy belong to the observer, not just the person asking the question.   There are multiple reasons to why someone might not return to the forum to round out a thread to the satisfaction of the disaffected.

An interesting comparison to this thread and those that whinge about forum members and visitors who do not post, can be seen here.   There is currently a widespread concern about online bullying and posts like the opening post to a thread like this is highly likely to deter the timid or novice forum user.   If you want people to post, a welcoming and friendly atmosphere is likely to entice more forum interaction.   Trying to impose some personal standard and rules of forum behaviour is a function that belongs to the website owner and that seems to be quite well done already.

Iza 

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 Hi

Actually I did think I explained and supported my not insulting statement. I did not see it as deterring a poster but expressing an opinion, not whinging at all, which might guide a new poster to act in a manner which helps the forum to a better standard of interaction. But Izy if you feel threatened by ideas of common courtesy then feel free to use your own !

But I accept that I come on forums firstly for my enjoyment and entertainment. Secondly I like to help others who do not have the same knowledge in my particular areas. Whether they accept or reject it is up to them. But being a bit older I was always shown that common courtesy should be shown to anyone else. No reason to give it up now just because others do.   

Jaahn

RustyD - a good source (but by no means exhaustive, partly because the fora keep evolving) is the link here www.netmums.com/info/abbreviations-used-in-the-forums

Santa wrote:

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Izabarack wrote:

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If I respond to a question it is because I am trying to help. Nothing conditional there, the OP can offer gratitude if they want but I am not precious enough to expect it. In many cases, I don't even go back to the thread to see how the question panned out for the OP.

Iza

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I'm not looking for gratitude and I'm not precious

Information is a two way street, people like to know whether or not a suggestion was of use or not, a lot of people who seldom post follow many of these threads with interest, if there is no indication of a solution having been found, or otherwise, the process is incomplete.

---

 I agree if your following a technical thread its nice to know how things panned out ,and also the person that solved your problem for you should be thanked its called common courtesy...

Of course, replying to an answer to ones question is "common courtesy". Does that mean some are plain rude? I doubt it. These "rude" people if you met them in the street and you gave the same advice, would 99% thank you at the end of the conversation...so why not online?

As I tried to explain earlier the internet has everything to do with it. It transforms people and it adds another dimension to what should be a simple life- it contributes to make it a more knowledgeable one but a more complicated one when its suppose to help us.

Most of our members her are over 65yo. That era, growing up in the 50's and 60's, maybe even the 40's life was different, harder in so many ways. Now we have a new type of "hard". That can include being on the internet where you pay your bills, Facebook, twitter, email friends, family and businesses and so on and guess what?...these not so rude people forget to do one of these tasks- thanking you, the responder to a question.

This is clear when you scroll down and the questioner (OP) hasn't responded at all in the thread. It means he has forgotten to log back in, or he lost his password/user name (how many of us has done that?) or has been distracted by many other life issues.

It's dangerous to compare our lives from 60 years ago to our lives now, however I see it quite clear the contrast. These people don't lack "common courtesy", they miss the opportunity to do so due to so many other factors now. It is a thing the older generation find difficult to accept. I take it differently. The OP might not respond but the 100 people that read the thread got a lot of information out of the post. eg

"I was walking along a main street in 40 degree heat. A young mum with 3 kids had a flat tyre. I toiled changing it for her without her saying much. I finished and she drove off without a word. Talk about deflated! Then a week later a guy approached me in a supermarket. It was her husband and she pointed me out to him. He thanked me and offered to buy me a coffee and we sat for 45 minutes chatting. They were so appreciative. " That lady was managing 3 kids in extreme heat and it APPEARED she ignored me.

So in summary, nowadays it is better to have faith that the OP would be appreciative but the modern lifestyles and the internet often imposes restrictions or the post gets lost in the myriad of tasks one does on the internet that causes them to overlook it.

If you're hyper-sensitive to constructive criticism or despise other people with a different opinion to yours don't subscribe to an open forum. Simple really.  

Desert Dweller wrote:

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If you're hyper-sensitive to constructive criticism or despise other people with a different opinion to yours don't subscribe to an open forum. Simple really.  

---

 What an excellent idea.

brickies wrote:

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BJG posted on the forum on 28th February at 11 28 am subject car details And has not return to the forum since and has done the same thing before make no sence .

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I wonder if some of the replies to his question could be classed as bullying an he has retired back into the darkness ashamed to have asked such a silly question

-- Edited by dogbox on Sunday 11th of March 2018 08:52:03 PM

brickies wrote:

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BJG has not been back on the forum since they posted so they have not seen any reply, That's what is so strange and they have done so before so why ask a question and not come back on to the forum to look at the answers .

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 Hi 

Another assumption that may not be true. BJG may have looked at the forum and not logged in ! So he may have read the answers and followed the discussion but it does not show ! His choice I guess  But if someone asks a specific question I think they should show they did and comment, IMHO as i said before 

I also think that if you are "sensitive" then an open forum is probably not your scene. 

Jaahn   

-- Edited by Jaahn on Sunday 11th of March 2018 10:30:33 PM

Desert Dweller wrote:

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If you're hyper-sensitive to constructive criticism or despise other people with a different opinion to yours don't subscribe to an open forum. Simple really.  

---

If you're hyper-sensitive to constructive criticism....

Criticism has a greater of chance of being accepted if it is genuinely constructive and not gratuitous

 

despise other people with a different opinion to yours....

Agreed, works both ways whether OP or respondent.

 

All humans are sensitive, it's how we're wired otherwise we'd be a bunch of robots. Everything is in the delivery, and tone is far more powerful than words. Positive persuades, negative repels.

-- Edited by SouthernComfort on Monday 12th of March 2018 09:57:07 AM