Many years as a truckie, then twenty years as a coach captain. Finally gave it away to just go "On the Wallaby". It was about 2003, and I find meself in a small town in Victoria. I go to the local employment mob, lookin' for work, and they give me an address just out of town at "Whereverville". I front out there, and the bloke has a single drive Hino truck, with a bogie trailer. He gives me the drum on where he wants a load of hay taken to. So, we get it loaded, tied down and ready to go. I reckon on goin' into the town to graze, as I was ready to chew the arse out of a rag doll. Just as I started up me old motorhome, the bloke wanders over and tells me he wants to put some "Chop Chop" between the rolls of hay. Now, I didn't wanna say that I had no idea what he meant, so I said, "No worries" Anyway, I lob into one of the local pubs, as they usually have good counter meals. I order some tucker, then lookin' around, see there's a vacant seat at a table with two fairly big blokes sittin' at it. So, I grab me scran, and front the blokes. "No worries" was the answer to my askin' about the spare seat. While we're all shovin' fodder in the front of our respective skulls, I explain that I just got a job cartin' hay, and as I don't know what it means, could they tell me what this chop chop thingo is. Their expressions never changed, as one of 'em says that ya gotta have a license to carry it. I ask how I'm supposed to get one. One of 'em asks me for me drivers license. I fork it over, and he disappears for about twenty minutes. Meantine me and his mate just sit there bangin' out gums together about anything. Then the other bloke fronts back. He pulls out his wallet, and shows me his police badge. ****! Then his mate quietly does the same. The the first bloke starts tellin' this. "I just checked you out. No convictions, apart form a couple of minor speeding fines. That's good. This chop chop thing is in fact illegal tobacco, and worth a big quid. Last week a couple of ugly bastards stopped a truck carrying hay, and they knew it also had "chop" on it. They dragged the driver out of the cab, bashed the **** outa him, and stole the chop. If you take the job, and we catch you, you will be fined twenty grand, and possibly do a spell in the slammer, coz it's a first offence. The bloke who owns the truck, gets a term in the slot, and a fine of some seventy five thousand". I finished me tucker, then some drank coffee, while they sat there and without any unpleasant looks, asked what I was gunna do. I gave 'em a big smile. "Me little motorhome is parked across the street. I'm gunna fire it up, and head for Queensland"! Then I stood up, shook hands with both of them and headed for the border. And that's fair dinkum!!
Yes, great yarn. It all fell apart when you mentioned that someone was going to get a fine and a gaol sentence. It is one or the other old mate. The penalties are also all wrong.
I think that would be good one to spin around a campfire if you were with Goldfinger and Bruce. They would have one that was even better.
Seeing as we are telling tall but true stories, I can relate one that happened many years ago.
I was working at Roxby Downs in South Aust as a Piping Supervisor at the Olympic Dam Project. We were installing thousands of metres of process piping for the plant.
I let it be known that our company had picked up a contract from the Queensland Govt to install a fence around the Great Barrier Reef to combat the crown of thorns starfish.
We were to start at the top, run down the side for about 2500kms head towards the shore for 100kms, run back up for 2500kms then link up with the start. The company I was working for would provide all the piping for the fence and install it and the wire would be positioned by another firm.
I told the guys interested to go to the office and register for the work.
Some days later the boss threatened to sack me if I pulled stunt like that again. He was sick of people arguing in the office that it was true and would not take no for an answer.
I stopped for a while, then started a rumour that we had won a contract to build a power station in China and we were taking all trades (including TA's) to China to work with the Chinese on a "monkey see, monkey do" basis.
Report to the office to register your interest.
I got carpeted again and threatened with the sack by a bloke who couldn't keep a straight face.
I just need to ask one question. Goldfinger, where were you in 1988 and did you get a job on the Reef?
Sounds like another Pipe Dream to me Phantom....those pipes you were supervising did not look like this...... did they old clap?........in 1988 I was managing my own Company......I bet you could brighten up any Office...simply by leaving it......Hoo Roo
I think it finally finishes when you find out that the hitch hiker you gave a lift to leaves her bag in your car. When you drop it back to her house the next day you are told she died thirty years ago.
For those who doubt the possible fine or jail in that story, in the late 70's if the driver of a tour, or express coach "dropped" the toilet on the side of the road, it was $20,000 fine for him, and $100,000 for the company. Non payment was a month in the slammer. I realise that a few of you young blokes wouldn't understand.
Pipes
Yes Pipes. There was and still is a default for a non payment of a fine. One cannot be fined and gaoled simultaneously for the one offence however. That is where your story came a cropper.
