The European Commission has just announced an agreement wherebyEnglish will be the official language of the European Union rather thanGerman, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded thatEnglish spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- yearphase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the> soft "c"..
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servantsjump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of"k".
This should klear up konfusion, andkeyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm inthe sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f"..
This will make words like fotograf 20%shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of thenew spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikatedchanges are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal ofdouble letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of thesilent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv tosteps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan bedropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reilsensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis andevrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vilfinali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be spekingGerman like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
