Drafting Guys Over 60.    
 
 
New Direction for any war: Send  Service Vets over 60!
  
    
    
    
  

I am over  60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to  track down terrorists. You can't be older than  42 to join the military. They've got the whole  thing ass-backwards.

Instead  of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought  to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to  join a military unit until you're at least 35. 

For  starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think  about sex every 10 seconds.. Old guys only think  about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us  more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to  concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys  haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a  cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back  hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We  are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe  letting us kill some ******* that desperately  deserves it will make us feel better and shut us  up for a while..

An  18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before  10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so  what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired  and can't sleep and since I'm  already
 up, I may  as well be up killing some fanatical  son-of-a-bitch.

If  captured we couldn't spill  thebeans  because we'd forget where we put them. In fact,  name, rank, and serial number would be a real  brainteaser.

Boot camp  would be easier for old guys.. We're used to  getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to  soft food. We've also developed an appreciation  for guns. We've been using them for years as an  excuse to get out of the house, away from the  screaming and yelling.

They could  lighten up on the obstacle course however...  I've been in combat and never saw a single  20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side,  nor did I ever do any pushups after completing  basic training.

Actually,  the running part is kind of a waste of energy,  too.. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. 

An  18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.  He's still learning to shave, to start a  conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't  figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to  shade his eyes, not the back of his head. 

These are  all great reasons to keepour kids  at home to learn a little more about life before  sending them off into harm's way. 

Let us old  guys track down those terrorists. The last thing  an enemy would want tosee is a  couple million pissed off
old farts with bad  attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that  their best years are already behind  them.

HEY!! How  about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!  You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh  my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border  patrol. They'll have it secured the first  night!

Send this  to all of your senior friendsit's in big type  so they can read it.