My Sat Nav

I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car 

A Satnav is a driver's friend; it tells you where you are. 

I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life 

It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is... My Wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive 

"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".  

It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake 

And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake. 

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green 

It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene. 

It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear 

And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device 

For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice. 

It fills me up with counseling, each journey's pretty fraught 

So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort? 

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed 

It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed! 

Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then, I could,...." TURN THE BUGGER OFF."

kiwijims