Yesterday I was at my local COLES store buying a large bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Pedigree Diet again. I added that I probably shouldnt, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 20 Kg. before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her, No, I stepped off the kerb to sniff a Dobermans ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Coles. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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Retired Airline Pilot and Electrician..
I'm not old, I've just been young a long time....Ken
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I ''HATE'' supermarket shopping, but I read a story once, and thought good idea ?? Next time the Mrs made me go with her, ?? [ she does not let me pick up all New things to try ] So to fill in the time I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY THAT LITTLE TRICK I READ ??
What you do is Go to the area where they sell The ''Condoms'' pick up a Couple of packets, the More Erotic, ribbed, or Coloured, ones are best
Then look for a Middle Aged, Well Dressed Woman, !! and when she is Not Looking, ? Drop them ''Discreetly'' ? Into her Shopping Trolley ??
THEN ?? you just keep your eye on her, ! until she goes through the Checkout,, Then the Laugh comes as She tries explaining to the operator, in front of Customers ?? That They are Not Hers, ?? She did Not put them in there, ?? And Would never dream of purchasing such items ?? I have tried it twice now, ?? first time was a ''Fizzer' ?? The Lady Just said, Sorry love don't know how they got there, ?? I am way past that sort of thing ?/
But the second time was Loads of Laughs, for the customers in line, And for me, hovering in the background ..
I can relate to that as well here's how my trip to the IGA Store went There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer! Pete
Wrong Womby !! The A-Van is NOT big enough for 3 People ?? The have to sleep '' stacks-on-the-Mill Style, and the Nyphs ! Hate it when it is Dougwe's turn to be on Top ??
Wrong Womby !! The A-Van is NOT big enough for 3 People ?? The have to sleep '' stacks-on-the-Mill Style, and the Nyphs ! Hate it when it is Dougwe's turn to be on Top ??
The Lady Just said, Sorry love don't know how they got there, ?? I am way past that sort of thing ?/
