1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Perth driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by two Commodores, a BMW and a Hyundai Xcel, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are especially not applicable in Perth during rush hour. That's why it's called 'rush hour...'.
8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Perth driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.
10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Perth is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the WA Police Department, which puts holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keeps them on their toes.
11. It is traditional in Perth to honk you horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests on top of the traffic light and seagulls from making deposits on your car.
12. Remember that the goal of every Perth driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
13. In the Perth area, "flipping someone the bird" is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.
14. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principal that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.
And remember, be courteous and keep left whenever you feel like doing so!
I initially thought this should be in the Joke section, then I realised it is all true so is appropriate where it is.
I was undecided too Neil, but settled on "I digress".....not just WA though pretty well happens in every state!
I have been known to bip my horn (illegal yeh I know) at these morons that sit at the lights when they have turned green, talking to their companion, looking at their mobiles, reading a street directory or preening themselves with no thought about anyone else behind them getting through the lights. Particularly annoying when you are at a major crossroad with turning lanes and it takes ages for the lights to turn in you favour. Often as not, they get through and nobody else does.....
-- Edited by Vic41 on Tuesday 18th of February 2014 02:50:49 PM
I read through that Vic, nodding all he time. It's SO right!
I have not driven in other States for years, but Perth is a real worry. Had two trips down the Mitchell Freeway today. I sat in the left (of three) lanes at 90kph (the limit's 100). The tailgaters really worried me. About three feet off the rear of the car. There are TWO other lanes they could use to overtake, but they won't. Why?
The really solid steel towbar on my Colorado sticks out quite a long way. I'm seriously thinking of getting a little sign for it, saying: "In any contest between me and your radiator, I know what's going to win."
But they probably won't understand.
Cheers, Tony
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If you don't stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them.
When you think of the psycho's we've got out there in the community and wonder how many of them are behind the wheels of cars Tony it can be pretty daunting, or the Jekyll and Hyde types that change personalities behind the wheel, scary stuff....
Oh! and a wombat scoop on your bull bar.
