In a pickle!

herbie · Guru

In a pickle!

Baz421 · Guru

It would be ggod to know why he's changed his mind.

It may be for any reason, ie he's realised he's an indoors man.

He may also be out of his comfort zone,,,, towing can be stressfull (SWMBO gets very stressed at times,, and I'm driving,,, can you imagine that, I don't know why,,lol), setting up and being a nomad is stressfull for some,, ie you can loose your structure to your life.

I'm under pressure to go full time again but I'm trying to strike a deal 6 months home (in SA) and 6 months on the road, mainly out bush, as I've fallen for playing lawn bowls. So I know where your coming from,, or we both do.

If you can talk to him then good but if he needs to talk to a bloke you can message me and I'll exchange phone numbers if it helps,,, BUT I don't want to interfere, but the offer is there.

Cheers Baz

-- Edited by Baz421 on Friday 3rd of May 2013 10:59:59 PM

Sheba · Guru

hokiangas' suggestion is a good one. Driving a Motorhome would be far less stressful, and much easier IMHO. I have a Campervan, as there's no way I could manage to hitch and unhitch a 'van at my age, and health condition. It's so much easier to just get in and drive.

He just might not be feeling fit enough for a Caravan and Tug any more. Have you suggested switching to a Motorhome to him ?

Be good if he can talk to Baz. too.

Hope you can work it out.

Cheers,

Sheba.

-- Edited by Sheba on Friday 3rd of May 2013 10:35:52 PM

herbie · Guru

Baz421 wrote:
It would be good to know why he's changed his mind.
It may be for any reason, he's realised he's an indoors man.
He may also be out of his comfort zone,,,, towing can be stressfull (SWMBO gets very stressed at times,, and I'm driving,,, can you imagine that, I don't know why,,lol), seeting up and being a nomad is stressfull for some,, ie you can loose your structure to your life.
I'm under pressure to go full time again but I'm trying to strike a deal 6 months home (in SA) and 6 months on the road, mainly out bush, as I've fallen for playing lawn bowls. So I know where your coming from,, or we both do.
If you can talk to him then good but if he needs to talk to a bloke you can message me and I'll exchange phone numbers if it helps,,, BUT I don't want to interfere, but the offer is there.
Cheers Baz

Hey Baz, you can take those lawn bowls with you ,you know there is lawn bowls all over this country.I know a bloke who loves going to play his bowls at every town he stops over in and has made some life long friends.He told me if the place ain't got lawn bowls i don't stop there.

-- Edited by herbie on Saturday 4th of May 2013 12:30:18 AM

-- Edited by herbie on Saturday 4th of May 2013 12:58:49 PM

KerryandBruce · Veteran Member

I really want to see the country as we planned to do in our retirement but now after only 1 year, my husband doesn't want to go caravanning anymore!

OPTIONS:

1: Continue with our lovely 2 berth van and travel alone (scary) 2: Buy a smaller van but I do need the shower/toilet 3: Buy a Winnebago or such so I don't have to tow.

Am I being selfish to go without him? It also seems quite scary to go alone.

What would you do?

Kerry

spida · Guru

You go girl - it is not hard!!!! (What is he going to do with out you?????) Do lots of short trips until you feel comfortable!

GaryKelly · Guru

Mmmmm. I agree with Spida. Do a few short trips. My guess is that hubby will think twice while you're away and change his mind. :) On the other hand, you might change yours and not come back hehe.

Landfall · Guru

Been married for forty four years, where a team.

If one of us doesn''t want to do something, then it's still a team effort and we will find something we both like to do.

When I first had the idea of retiring, we purchased a new caravan and 4wd,, after being away for a few months we had a few (understatement) with our new caravan. This popular brand caravvan is reknown for problems but is also reputed to have "the best warranty" on the planet. Unfortunately, these problems caused me to look more carefully at what we had brought for our money?

This caused me to "hate" the van and therefore caravanning.

Home we went and I started our business back up.

Traded the van in with a huge loss after seeing another van at the show.

Slowly got back into vanning in holiday breaks.

Now for the past three years have been vanning for five month periods per year.

My advice is to understand "Why your husband dislikes caravanning?" and see if you both can tackle the problem

Failing that, your either a team or single? Your choice.

We are into yachting and have seen to many marriages break up because "mainly" the husband will not give up his yachting.

Ken

Sheba · Guru

You have to do whatever makes you happiest. You may be married, but you are still an individual. The others have given you very good advice, so think it through thoroughly before making a final decision. Either one of you could still change your minds further down the track.

Cheers,

Sheba.

Yuglamron · Guru

No offence but isn't the phrase SWMBO.......Lol

Hope you get sorted and find some compromise that works for both of you.

Grams · Guru

I asked my husband about what you wrote Kerry, and both of us agreed that neither of us would ever decide something like that without talking it over and making a decision we both agreed on. Neither of us could go on knowing the other didn't want to, or stay behind while the other one kept going. We are in this together till the end.

barrie · Guru

Have you asked why he does not want to carry on???????????????/

Duh · Guru

Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place.

Is there a compromise, like well if you go with me now and then I do this or that with you or let you do that on your own?

How about a cruise around Oz or elsewhere as a trade off?

Trade him in on an RV partner? (joking).

Do you have a female friend who could travel with you who you know would be easy to travel with or another family member?

I hope you can work something out, it would be a shame not to pursue your dreams...

hokianga · Senior Member

Maybe either borrow or hire a motorhome and try that out, may be easier than towing a caravan? Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I travel alone and although not scary I do get lonely, even with my doggies on board.

Baz421 · Guru

herbie wrote:
Baz421 wrote:
It would be ggod to know why he's changed his mind.
It may be for any reason, ie he's realised he's an indoors man.
He may also be out of his comfort zone,,,, towing can be stressfull (SWMBO gets very stressed at times,, and I'm driving,,, can you imagine that, I don't know why,,lol), seeting up and being a nomad is stressfull for some,, ie you can loose your structure to your life.
I'm under pressure to go full time again but I'm trying to strike a deal 6 months home (in SA) and 6 months on the road, mainly out bush, as I've fallen for playing lawn bowls. So I know where your coming from,, or we both do.
If you can talk to him then good but if he needs to talk to a bloke you can message me and I'll exchange phone numbers if it helps,,, BUT I don't want to interfere, but the offer is there.
Cheers Baz

Hey Baz, you can tae those lawn bowls with you ,you know there is lawn bowls all over this country.I know a bloke who loves going to play his bowls at every town he stops over in and has made some life long friends.He told me if the place ain't got lawn bowls i don't stop there.

yep they are comin with me for sure,,,,,

sarg · Guru

Kerry, nobody has asked this yet, but is there a relationship problem? After a year together in your van on the road, are you both in each others space too much? Do you both still get along like you did before your trip started? Or has it got a bit strained and communication lesser?.........What do you think? I hope it's none of the above...These are personal to you Kerry and don't need to be answered on this forum, but feel free to berate me if I have overstepped the line........Sarg.

two dogs · Veteran Member

Baz, I have more trouble getting Leesa to let me play my bowls. When we leave end June the Taylors are definitely coming with us. Luckily she loves the vanning!
Andy

sandsmere · Guru

it depends on how close you are to your husband I reckon .

We certainly wouldn't be living this life if one of us didn't want to .

Baz421 · Guru

A bit disappointing that Kerry has been getting online but hasn't responded after asking,,,,,,

What would you do?

herbie · Guru

Baz421 wrote:
A bit disappointing that Kerry has been getting online but hasn't responded after asking,,,,,,
What would you do?

This happens quite a lot on here , people ask a question then you never hear from them again. Also i have noticed a lot get on wanting to know of free camps and after some nice person has taken the time to reply, not even a thank you to them for their trouble. Or you do not see them back on here once they have got what they were wanting. Just my thoughts on the subject.....Or maybe he read our answers and has taken off on his own.

biggles · Senior Member

I just thought it was a "Dear Dorothy Dix" kinda question that was inappropriately posted ..

Landfall · Guru

herbie wrote:
Baz421 wrote:
A bit disappointing that Kerry has been getting online but hasn't responded after asking,,,,,,
What would you do?

This happens quite a lot on here , people ask a question then you never hear from them again. Also i have noticed a lot get on wanting to know of free camps and after some nice person has taken the time to reply, not even a thank you to them for their trouble. Or you do not see them back on here once they have got what they were wanting. Just my thoughts on the subject.....Or maybe he read our answers and has taken off on his own.

The HE is a SHE! cry

Ken

Baz421 · Guru

biggles wrote:
I just thought it was a "Dear Dorothy Dix" kinda question that was inappropriately posted ..

Yeh possible,,,, I did a lot of research, about 10 hours for a guy, no thanks, no feedback, but I think his project was a problem from the start and he got in too deep and paid money only to find out he needed to pay more money to get set up.

Such is life eh.

Gerty Dancer · Guru

Kerry's last access was only 20 minutes after she posted this question, according to her profile. Whatever problems she might be having, lets not add to them?

Rip and Rosie · Guru

Gerty Dancer wrote:
Kerry's last access was only 20 minutes after she posted this question, according to her profile. Whatever problems she might be having, lets not add to them?

like

The dog lady · Guru

I discovered a long time ago that I only know what Ishould do in any particular situation, therefore the only person to whom I could possibly give advice on what to do next is ME biggrin . Everyone else will have to work out what's best for him or herself. I'm not unsympathetic, on the contrary, it's a difficult dilemma when your spouse/partner considers something important that you can't join in with. But like someone else on this site quotes, "Be yourself, there's no-one else better qualified" and there's no-one else who can know what is best for you. Good luck with whatever decisions you make.