The excitement is going out of caravanning.

 Let me explain. I was reading the specifications on the new Jeep Grand Cherokee when I came across a feature called sway control. Apparently, if your van starts to drift out of line the onboard computer takes control of the car and rights the problem. It sounds like a great idea if it works, but has anyone actually tested it going down a steep hill.

This is what I mean by lack of excitement. Electronic controls are taking all the danger out of life. I can still remember the adrenaline rush of coming down a hill of legend status and dabbing the brakes to prevent heat build-up only to see the caravan in the rear view mirror trying to accomplish a particularly impressive overtaking maneuver. Fortunately, I was wearing my brown corduroy thinking trousers at the time and had the presence of mind to hit the accelerator and speed my way out of the situation.

I wonder what the little black box with its myriad of computer chips would have done? I probably would have had a message come up on the instrument panel stating, There has been a problem. Sorry for the inconvenience, but Windows has had to shut down. Would you like to send a report?

On another totally unconnected issue; Has anyone ever attempted to use park assist with a caravan in tow? I can just imagine drawing alongside a space just wide enough for the car and van, engaging the park assist, only to hear a terrified electronic voice saying, You want me to do what?

Now dont get me wrong. Some labour saving devices are worth their weight in gold. Electronic corner stays for instance. Press a button and hey presto, all four legs drop to the ground. You still have to go round and apply the last bit of pressure with a hand brace, but what a saving over traditional drop down legs. Perhaps its me being cynical, but I just dont understand this need to own the latest gadget.

A friend of mine used to go through the performance of pulling out his electric drill, attaching the correct sized socket, and letting the stays down that way. Electronics! he used to shout to all who would give him the time of day. Great, until one day he had a flat battery and lost his temper. He kicked the drill so hard he broke two toes. Thats electronics for you.

Personally, I regret the passing of corner stays that were wound down by hand. There was nothing like arriving on site after a day of driving and bending to wind down the stays. Perhaps it was just me, but my back just wanted to be in an upright, straight position. After one stay the eyesight started to come in and out of focus; after two stays the back just gave up the fight and collapsed into a useless, painful wreck; after 3 stays the blood pressure rose to a point that the face took on the same hue as beetroot and after 4 stays people used to rush off to get their auxiliary batteries in an attempt to restart my heart. It was exercise and good for you, but as my old ma used to say, What dont kill you today will probably get you tomorrow.

So in conclusion, not all gadgets are good for you. Whats good for you, like exercise, is just as likely to kill you. And if you really need excitement you should get a brew on and read a good book - at least youll still be alive tomorrow to laugh at all the other daft buggers with their latest labour saving devices.