Yesterday we drove in the Suzuki to Melbourne to visit an old friend. He is 97 years old & blind but he completely looks after his wife who is 90 & has full blown alzheimers. The only help he has is a cleaner comes in once a week & he has meals on wheels 3 days a week. He could probably get a lot more help but he is a stubborn old bugger determined to be self sufficient. His biggest problem is boredom as conversation with is wife is useless & all his mates are dead - well except for us & of course we can only visit ad we swing through Vic. My better half makes a point of phoning him every couple of weeks just to chat. Well I think George at 97 deserves a medal.
What a man! A bit risky at his age though for him and his wife if they live alone. If he keels over the poor woman wouldn't be capable of getting help etc. I hope they have someone checking in on them daily.
The Red Cross have a free service for oldies where they ring them once a day to check that they are ok, if they don't hear from them they send someone out to check. Might be worth looking into if they don't have a similar service.
-- Edited by Vic on Friday 9th of September 2011 04:30:16 PM
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Vic
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They do that once a week here Vic. I am a contact for an elderly neighbour, they ring him every Thursday morning. But you are right, what would happen if once of them fell or needed some sort of assistance. She wouldn't be capable of getting help and he can't see if something happens to her. Some oldies have an alarm they carry and can press if something goes wrong, it brings someone from a hospital or similiar to check them out.
The old boy DOES desrve a medal and social services need a swift kick in the ask ya mutha for sixpence. How can such a situation exist?A tragedy in the making. Let's all pray it doesn't happen
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He probably hasn't ask for help, and nobody is offering. Too proud I'm guessing. Some churches have a support service as well. The Meals On Wheels vollies take note when they deliver the meals. If they don't get a response at the door they leave the meals. If they're still there next time the alarm is raised. Being stubbornly independent is not always an admirable quality, especially if it puts 2 people at risk. I think it's foolish of this old gentleman to insist on being independent. He risks his life and that of his incapable wife. If I knew them I'd do something about getting a community nurse or Red Cross Volunteer check on them and supply an alarm. Mind you, the alarm is useless if they are unable use it.
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What a great fella...and that is how he got to 97 with that attitude.
He is a product of a time of self reliance, and did not grow up being babied by an "over regulated" and "take no responsibility" era, so we see very few of these types around now.
I say well done to them both, if something were to happen to either and they come to an untimely end, that is most probably what they would wish for. There is no way I would ever want to go to a nursing home exspecially from a male perspective (I currently work at one), there is no quality of life no matter how well they are cared for. May they both stand proud for what they would have achieved over their lifetime, raise my hat to them cheers blaze
Having to look after my mother with alzheimers this is too much for this poor old man. As said earlier, it is putting them both at risk. But.... how long would they continue if he put her into care? Its a catch 22 situation. I personally think they need to stay in their own home. But they need to access a lot more community care. Its out there. They need a case manager to help them with this. People will look in on them several times a day if necessary, even just to have a chat. Also, the people coming into clean, shower, they care and will sit down to have a chat. Please encourage him.
Great advice Chi Chi - these days it is possible to access more care without having your independence taken away. There are some great community organisations that provide practicable respectful help and a buffer against beaucratic intereference. What an incredible man.
