Can't get to sleep

Dawn · Senior Member

Can't get to sleep

Ma · Guru

I sympathise wholeheartedly Dawn. My problem is that I can't sleep at home. As soon as we hit the road I can bearly get 50ks from home before I'm nodding off. Sleep right through every night and then back to the "wakies" when we get home. They reckon warm milk (yuk) helps but I bet you've already tried that. I drop or three of "red cordial" (wine) helps me sometimes. Good luck and if you find out any cure be sure and let me know

Ma

dave06 · Guru

the trouble is that as we age we actually need less sleep, I found myself waking at around 3.30 every morning and not being able to return to sleep until about 5.30 while this doesnt seem like a great loss of nap time it actually effects your waking time,

this went on for a couple of months before my breakdown, I couldnt "shut off", obviously something wrong in the control room, make sure all things are running correctly in your command centre, sleep depravation can be a warning of sorts of something more sinister

we must get into a "rythm" every night and stick to it religiously, cuppa at 8pm nothing to excite you after that so no violent or exciting movies, cut down on the grog intake (it's a stimulant) relax until your normal bedtime and be consistant

if you go to bed at 10.30 normally then start winding down around 8pm, no bright lights and no excitement

most people over estimate just how much they sleep they lose each night, for most people four hours of deep sleep is plenty and throw in about 2-3 hours of R.E.M. (rapid eye movement, or "dream sleep") then you are doing well

just settle in to a routine every night of "winding down", dont read in bed or drink cuppas nor eat or watch too much tv, bed is for sleeping and maybe once every few years, nocturnal aerobics, not for meals or as an alternative library

a couple glasses of a wine or a port or two will "settle" your tummy a bit, but not too much or it will stimulate you, and we dont want that now do we, stimulated housewives are the last thing us old fellers want in our beds when it's nap time

Ma · Guru

Come on Dave, don't think you and Guru would agree on the "Stimulated Housewife in the bed" scenario.

A couple of redcordials for stimulation, some night time aerobics and sleep comes easy...............

xina · Guru

Valerian is a good Herbal relaxant Dawn. The only other thing I can think of that usually works at the moment, is Warm Milk and Honey.
Cheers,
xina.

Cruising Granny · Guru

There are a lot of "don'ts" eg Don't drink coffee after 4pm (1600hrs). Tea doesn't stimulate as much as coffee, but if in doubt try camomile or green tea. You get used to them.
And all the don't Dave has mentioned as well.
Try to eat your evening meal before 7pm (1900hrs) and make it a light, smaller meal than lunch. A couple of sherberts before dinner are also "good" for you, and red wine is the biggy. Too many can be stimulating. If you are too stimulated start dancing with the love in your life.
Do a few stretching exercises when you're ready for bed. Keep them gentle stretches and muscle flexes, combined with deep, circular breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Long, slow, deep in, long, slow out. Concentrate on the cycle of each breath. Close your eyes and concentrate on making your mind clear and consciously relax your body from toes to the top of your head while you're breathing.
Now, you can participate in mattress hockey if the mood arises (sorry about pun). It's great exercise, it can be slimming, and when all the hormones settle down, so will you. If not, massage, slow and gentle is a good activity. You receive the massage one night, and then swap roles.
Make sure you are comfortable, not cold, not hot, and have fresh air.
If you wake during the night and want to get back to sleep, repeat the breathing cycle.
If your head is racing, talk about the thoughts, or write them down. Then back to the breathing.
I only get about 4 or 5 breathing cycles and I'm out for the count.
It's natural, it's therapeutic and it's healthy, exercising the lungs, and drawing fresh oxygen into the cardio-vasular system.
Sleep well and sweet dreams. Cheers Chris

xina · Guru

Good one Granny. I remembered at about 2 AM about 4/4 breathing. The technique is about the same as yours, but you breathe in and out for the count of 4. [Not too fast.]
Cheers,
xina.

-- Edited by xina on Tuesday 11th of August 2009 01:53:19 PM

Dawn · Senior Member

Thanks all for your advice, I will try some or all and see what helps most. I only drink tea so don't have to worry about coffee being a stimulant. Unfortunately I am not a wine drinker-ugh! I hear you all shrug- poor girl you say! I like a beer or two but only socially, weekends or 5 o"clockish when we are travelling.
Will definately try the breathing technique as I like the idea of that. Might put on some of my lovely "Enya" music, she is adorable.
Well all - will keep at it - thanks again for all you input. Cheer Dawn

Basil Faulty · Guru

I have no trouble getting to sleep but I do have trouble staying asleep....

dave06 · Guru

yep thats another one that snuck on me just before the breakdown, I would find myself "nodding off" only to awake with an almighty "start, tottaly afraid and extremely "jumpy" 10 minutes to an hour in noddy land and it would be "jumpy" time

make sure all is clear in the control room first

suenami · Senior Member

I have no trouble going to sleep. Staying there is another matter.....only for the last 30-odd years.

Smokeydk · Guru

what annoys me is going for walkies every 3 hours...can just about set the alarm clock for it..
it kills your sleep no end....and if your staying in a caravan park.....in a CT.....then everyone knows your going.....ZZZZZZZZZIIIIIPPPPPPPP.....canvas door..then back in.ZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIPPPPPPP....closed again.......porta potty helps...believe me..

Dave

Sunshine · Veteran Member

HellOooo kids ~ I havn't posted on here for ages but heard the call.....

Magnesium will get you off to sleep ~ most people these days have a deficiency (depleted soils/stress etc)
Read all about it.
For health and natural remedies "curezone" is a wealth of information ~ do a google. Also lots of great stuff on utube re health ~ ie :- meditation, EFT (Emotional Freeedom Technique) Have fun - Cheers and good health. Sunshine

Valerie · Member

Hi everyone, this is my first time using this site. I have sleeping issues, too. When I do get to sleep, I wake up a couple of hours later, get up and make a cuppa and this goes on every few hours all night, every night.
Usually I am tired all the time and during the day, plus I reckon alot of it is due to stress, or unhappiness.

I am 56 yrs old, have 3 children that have grown and I don't choose to work anymore. I don't have any friends at present, or family that I see, also. My husband works full time, plus he has a very quiet nature, so I think I feel disatisfied and lonely.

I am saying this to show where I am at present may prevent me from sleeping properly. I haven't got depression, but for some reason, I seem to of stopped caring about anything, which is not good.
It's like we go a long time feeling attached to so many things, then suddenly you see bit by bit it's time to detach. I have got so detached, I feel weird.

Okay.......here's my situation, plus would love to get some pen friends.

Hugs......Valerie.

dave06 · Guru

Hi Vaerie, welcome to the site, I'm sorry for your dilemma, been there, done that, as for not having any freinds you've rectified that you now have roughly 1400 all willing to have a yak anytime about anything,

if you read the above posts then I am sure something may work for you, firstly I recognise the first stages of clinical depression, please do me a favour and go and see you gp and get treatment before it's too late

I suffered from this and started a little bit like you, I am also a trained counselor so I deal with folks all the time on differing issues, please get medication

you will get many responses from a lot of good folks from here and I wish you well but please seek medical assistance before you fall down the pit!

Rolly · Guru

Wise words from dave, Valerie.

This is a subject that he is very familiar with and is well experienced.

Welcome to the forum, and do make use of us. There's a lot of experienced individuals who contribute here.

twobob · Guru

Hey Val

We all hit the wall at times, and you have taken the first step towards resolving it, by reaching out.

Please do what has already been suggested and now go see someone (gp) about it. Have a chat here also, as it all helps (I know).

There is also a new Aussie site for over 50's, not many members yet, but was developed for part of the reasons you mentioned ( http://seniorspace.com.au )

pricey43 · Guru

Hi Dave,

I agree with you whole heartedly. My husband, Ted fell into the pit 2 weeks ago. Has been in hospital for 8 days and is just starting to find his feet again. Tried too hard to look after everybody else and not himself. Has brought his retirement forward 2 months suddenly.

Look out road here we come next year!!!!!

Cheers, Robyn

dave06 · Guru

Robyn just promise me that number one you will look after yourself for a start, you will need all your strength in the coming twelve months to pull your hubby through, he an dyou have a hard time ahead, try to fill his day with worthwhile activities, an idle brain is the worst thing for depression, try jigsaws or models or travel or something that interests him and you!

bringing the retirement forward can also be a double edged sword, if one suddenly ceases work and finds no worthwhile pursuit then the black dog will bight hard, plan trips together, find like minded people, enjoy the time you now find yourself with

I was grabbed by the dog so I know the triggers and what to watch out for, I am always just one step in front of it, I still feel his hot breath, you must stay occupied, it along with a couple of other factors nearly killed me, it is a serious thing not to be mucked about with

life is great and I encourage all to go out and grab it by the throat and shake it to bits as we do but dont expect everything to be apples everyday unless you work hard to make it so. try to find a reason everyday to simply get out of bed, lose the reason and drive and you may as well curl up and die!

I wish you all the best in the times ahead and will state that we are here anytime with a willing ear, public or private, and if it really gets on top of you please consider a lifeline telephone call! or even beyond blue! they have buckets of knowledge,

please dont try to go it alone, you wont make it!

xina · Guru

I can't add anything to that guys. Just know that we're all here any-time you need to reach out.
Cheers,
xina.

pricey43 · Guru

Thanks Dave and Xina,

I hear what your saying. Retirement has only been brought forward because by the time he's ready to return to work , his planned retirement will have arrived. Local GP's advice is that once he is stabilized we head off in the van for 12 months, and then think about what's happening then.

Thanks for the support.

I do appreciate it.

Rolly · Guru

Nothing quite like a change of environment and a closer look at the natural world to get the brain into gear again.

Good Luck, Ted and Robyn and Happy Travels.

Meantime "Don't be Strangers", as my Granny used to say.

dave06 · Guru

Robyn, I see nothing but good times ahead, face the future with a positive attitude all will turn out to be fine. I feel it in my water

you keep us up to date about any and all eventualities (we are a nosy lot) we consider you as part of the nomad family so as Rolly has said "dont be a stranger" keep in touch!

pricey43 · Guru

Thanks Dave and Rolly,

I feel as if I have got to know you guys in the last few weeks and am enjoying the fellowship. Will keep you posted.

Cheers, Robyn smile

dave06 · Guru

chin up, tits out and face the world with a big smile, it annoys the hell out of everybody wandering why you are so happy and they are not!

keep in touch!

Smokeydk · Guru

I wish you All well.......

Dave

lynn · Member

Hi Valerie...i went through something a bit similar years ago..then i bought an african drum (djembe). I heard them being played at a market nd thought so peaceful listening to it. Some like yoga r knitting or shopping..i love my drums (plural now) get a hobby for yourself..you give years of your life to others and the family, then the rot sets in, they go off on their journey and others settle for the final years..not me. Life is too short..find something that intersts you and go for it !!! GOOD LUCK

Cruising Granny · Guru

All the best with whatever ails you. As our lives move along we nurture people and they leave us, we manage our lives and then they change.
If we don't pick up new things as the old things drop out of our lives we seem to get left behind with nothing to nurture or manage.
I raised my kids to manage without me, because I didn't know what would confront me.
I've been in the doldrums and out again too.
Some days I don't feel like doing anything, so I don't. Then I feel guilty because I didn't.
Travelling is my way of giving me something to look forward to. Of course that means I leave something behind.
Lyn, the sound of those drums mesmerises me, but I don't think I'd be welcome in too many van parks if I took them up as a hobby.
So I write. Whatever springs to mind, some positive and useful, some just to empty the brain of unnecessary junk.
I'm on medication for whatever ails me, and that includes anti-depressants to cope with pain.
Keep looking forward. Learn to forgive yourself if things haven't turned out quite the way you planned. We all have to take responsibility for our lives, but you can't keep kicking yourself in the a..s forever. It's gone, it's over, move on. And whatever you do, be happy and kind to yourself.