Complete novice Brit wants advice ...

Wandering Brit · Newbie

Complete novice Brit wants advice ...

Basil Faulty · Guru

Welcome wandering Brit.. Yeah hire companies don't like even their 4x4's to go onto dirt roads. Maybe if you are going to be here for a few months it may be more practical to buy a second hand 4x4 setup or if you just want to travel on dirt roads then a 2 wheel drive would see you through.
If you do a google search or look at a site like this one; http://www.simpletrade.com.au/prod/caravans-and-motorhomes/109?ctg=109

Unless you are going to cross a desert you will find that you can do all the travel you want by yourself but there are groups that organise tag along arrangements.
The route you propose doing it either way is practical but due to the extremes of temperature in our summers it's far more cumfortable traveling in winter, this route for us is easy, it's along our main goat tracks AKA Highways and could be done entirely on sealed roads, no adventure in that. It's the distances that europeans find amazing, we have cattle farms bigger than Scotland.....
Enjoy your stay...

dave06 · Guru

g'day Ian, my advice, buy a camper, hi-ace or similar when you get here, they range from $8,000 upwards, do your 3 months (it will turn into 10 years, cant never get rid of you buggers once you get a taste of the good life) then after your trip, and you must promise that you will go home afterwards, no hiding now, we dont want the sniffer turtles to have to come and get you do we hmmm!!!, then resell the unit

people are always after these things and they sell like hotcakes, like Basil states, it will take a bit longer than two days to do the east coast and a cup of tea and a packed lunch will not be adequate, it will read something like Adelaide - Melbourne - Sydney - Brisbane - cairns - Darwin, doable in three months if you stick to the blacktop

if you follow the coast that is about 7,000 kilometers or 4,350 miles

like Basil states, do it in winter, that will be the equivalent of the biggest heatwave you blokes have ever had so you may make it through with plenty of water and salt and stick to the shade

dont try too much adventure all at once stay within your limits

but you will love it here, the crocs are friendly at that time of year and love to be patted and swam with and the drop bears are all hibernating so camping beneath trees will be fine, the snakes and spiders and scorpions will love the warmth of your campfire at night and they really do appreciate the company, only joking, the drop bears are still falling at that time of year, but only after a heavy drinking session so hide your booze

one other thing to be wary of, we have something over here that you would not be familiar with, it's called THE SUN and it is very hot and shiny and bright and is up in the sky, a lot of you blokes get very burnt when exposed to this phenomenon so be carefull in it's presence, plenty of sunscreen,

mike and Judy · Guru

Dave, you trying to turn them off mate, you forgot the most important thing, --- a parasol
and a copy off the ad, "are we there yet",

dave06 · Guru

that ad, yep remember it and love it,

oh I wouldnt turn away another visitor from the motherland, trouble is they chucked us all over here because we were a little bit naughty, didnt want us, bad sorts and all that, we fixed the place up, replaced the carpets, did a spot of painting, replaced the lounge, fixed the fence and planted some roses and now they come back and want to set up camp in our back yard, and then they wont bloody leave, then they drink all our booze

dont get me started on their beer!!! god love em!!

Mike47 · Senior Member

Don't encourage them Davo, the next thing you know the blokes in their cricket team will want to come out here and then how will they win a game against us???

dave06 · Guru

ahh!! they got to learn how to play cricket first!! havent seen any good ones come out of there yet!! heh!!heh!! heh!

Basil Faulty · Guru

Come on Chaps don't let the side down leave the poor bloke alone after all if it were not for the likes of him we would not have been here in the first place....

Lyrics to Mad Dogs & Englishmen :
In tropical climes
There are certain times
Of day
When all the citizens retire
To take their clothes off and perspire.
It's one of those rules
That the greatest fools
Obey,
Because the sun is far too sultry
And one must avoid its ultry
Violet ray.

The natives grieve
When the white men leave
Their huts.
Because they're obviously,
Definitely
Nuts.

Mad Dogs & Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
The Japanese don't care to,
The Chinese wouldn't dare to,
Hindus and Argentines
Sleep firmly from twelve to one,
But Englishmen
Detest a
Siesta.
In the Philippines
They have lovely screens
To protect you from the glare.
In the Malay states
There are hats like plates
Which the Britishers won't wear.
At twelve noon
The natives swoon,
And no further work is done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun!

Such a surprise
For the eastern eyes
To see,
That though the English are effete,
They're quite impervious to heat.
When the white man rides
Every native hides
In glee.
Because the simple creatures hope he
Will impale his solar topee
On a tree.

It seems such a shame
When the English claim
The Earth,
That they give rise
To such hilarity
And mirth.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo,
He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,
Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm.

Mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
The toughest Burmese bandit
Can never understand it.
In Rangoon
The heat of noon
Is just what the natives shun,
They put their Scotch
Or Rye down
And lie down.
In a jungle town
Where the sun beats down
To the rage of man and beast,
The English garb
Of the English sahib
Merely gets a bit more creased.
In Bangkok
At twleve'o'clock
They foam at the mouth and run,
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.

Mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
The smallest Malay rabbit
Deplores this foolish habit.
In Hong Kong
They strike a gong
And fire off a noonday gun
To reprimand
Each inmate
Who's in late.
In the Mangrove swamps
Where the python romps
There is peace from twelve to two,
Even caribous
Lie around and snooze,
For there's nothing else to do.
In Bengal,
To move at all
Is seldom if ever done.
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday sun!

dave06 · Guru

ah! if we cant stick it to the poms who can we stick it too, been having fun back and forth for eons!!!!!!!!!!

ibbo · Guru

Thanks Basil,I looked for those words for ages.There is another thing that visiting Anglos have to be mindful of and that is the language differences,sounds like english but that is where it ends.First night in the Mess at Albatross bloke told me I was a "Piker",gee thats nice thank you.........bloody dipstick me had not a clue what a piker was,I thought it must have meant that I was a great aqisition to the R.A.N.50 years on and Iam still here and stiil called a pommie B....rd and thats by my kids.Lol.Cheers Ibbo wink

Bridgee · Senior Member

Hello Ian and welcome

Being married to a former "Brit", Mrs Bridgee - who has since become an Aussie Citizen - you know ......... declaring her allegiance to the Queen (Dame Edna Everage) and the Australian Cricket team, etc., I see you don't intend to visit the "other capital of the U.K"....... Perth / Western Australia !! where there are more ex Brits per square kilometre than elsewhere in Australia.

However I agree with some of the others - if you intend visiting the "Top End" as in Northern Territory and Northern Queensland, November will be opressingly humid as their wet season "builds up" and December is the start of "the wet" in earnest with the chance of cyclones and flooded roads.

If it's possible to change your 3 month time frame, I would consider starting in July/ August and head to the northern regions first and work your way back through the southern states and N.S.W. in our spring, September / October.

Cheers,

Brian

Cruising Granny · Guru

Giving advice to Brit visitors is all very well, but first they have to understand the distances, as a couple of you have mentioned.
The other thing is the summer in northern Oz is the wet season. Not winter, just wet and humid and the monsoonal rain has a tendency to close highways as we are currently seeing across the top 2/3 of Qld. This flooding can slow your travels down for hours, days, weeks and even months.
We live in an amazing country with a lot of open space. Do some research and ask the locals before embarking on the next leg of your journey. You'll be right. Just don't rush it, or you'll miss it. Don't have any preconceived expectations and enjoy every place for what it is, and where it is. It's all amazing.
Safe and happy travels, Granny

Wandering Brit · Newbie

Novice Brit wants advice ... thanks

tmw · Member

RE: Complete novice Brit wants advice ...

mike and Judy · Guru

Have to agree with Carolyn, its about 95% humidity at the moment , and has been heavy showers all the month, althought not flooding (we copped that last year) its very wet underfoot, so dont come back too early either

dave06 · Guru

thats the spirit Ian, I know quite a few pommies and I,ll tell all and sundry I haven't met that many that I didn't like or that couldn't take a joke

my advice, purchase a camper, resell upon finalising the trip, you,ll get your money back easily enough, do the top first, listen to Carolyn and Mike (they live there) do a tag along if you wish, should not be that hard to find, also a lot of people wouldn't mind you following them to the next destination, but really it is more than doable on your own, its all downhill from Darwin!! and dead straight road!!

the east coast is very highly developed (some of the towns are bragging about something called "electricity", don't believe them myself but they swear its true)

you would already know from previous trips that we are the friendliest, helpfull and most outgoing people on earth so getting advice/help anywhere will not be a problem

Basil Faulty · Guru

Wandering Brit wrote:

Thanks for all advice so far, keep it coming.

Sorry but dates is fixed by daughter's wedding in UK - and your Govt only lets us in for 3 months at a time! (bit unfair as we gave you life sentences!!).
To avoid Wet would we be better going reverse way ??
- ie Brisbane (Sept) > Cairns (Oct) > Darwin (Oct) and down west to Perth (Nov) > Adelaide (Nov) ??
Hear that 2 wheel drive motorvan is enough.
Buying is best (budget 8,000 AUD) and easy to buy/sell
I know about distances from previou trips but still a seriuos warning.
Should allow time to stop - not bat on daily.
When we do move understand folks are friendly to "tag along" Brits?

What else ... ??

A mate of mine got a working visa for 12 months but he is a Scot if that makes any difference.
So if your a true pom then you would also know Reg Dixon, I'm a great fan of his...(pssssssssssssssssssst got any of his records you wanna swap for a fake aussie passport?)
Yeah seriously unless you are the type of brit who has that upper class pretentious Prince Charles personality you will find most of us will welcome you with open arms....

He is an Englishman!

He is an Englishman!
For he himself has said it,
And it's greatly to his credit,
That he is an Englishman!

That he is an Englishman!

For he might have been a Roosian,
A French, or Turk, or Proosian,
Or perhaps Itali-an!

Or perhaps Itali-an!

But in spite of all temptations
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman!
He remains an Englishman!

For in spite of all temptations
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman!
He remains an Englishman!

See, observe dear Sir we are not longer a country of convicts we are cutured and even can recite to odd snippet of G&S....

dave06 · Guru

hell talk about cultured Basil, I didnt know that you knew Gazza and shazza!!!