should I feel this way?

milo · Guru

should I feel this way?

Landfall · Guru

Gee Milo,

That is a very difficult question to answer, not actually knwing your financial circumstances.

When I first retired, I felt guilty sitting about having a glass of wine in the afternoon while other people worked. It took me two years to get over that guilt feeling and ended up with me back at work.

The short answer from me from experience is NO do not feel guilty and sometimes the thought of doing something is worse than actually doing it, so please dream the big dream, work out your budget carefully, put a little aside and get on with buying that campervan. Don't worryif its nothing flash, there will always be a bigger and better one parked alongside you. But you then have to ask, "Are they having as much fun as you?" Some of those moving apartments are owned by a finance company.

My motto in life these days is "get over it and get on with it."

Good luck for the future.

Ken

native pepper · Senior Member

It's natural to feel this way and your not being anything but normal, life comes and goes, it's the nature of existence. We all feel loss and pain, but it's important to put it all in the right perspective. Nothing you think or do will change the lose of your dad, you can be sure he would want you to make the best out of what he has left you and be happy.

There's no way he would want to see you miserable and worrying. Nothing you do will change the love you have, but you can make it as positive outcome by accepting your dad would want you to go for it and enjoy life. Very few parents would not want their children to benefit from their lives in material as well as personal ways.

Remember, respect and love your dad, but don't make his memory unhappy by not grasping the opportunities your father has provided with both hands and getting the best outcome for your future. I'm sure that's what he would want and would encourage. The most important thing he would want., is you to be as happy as possible and move on. Not to worry or be miserable, be happy for your dads love and life, it's all we have.

billeeeeeee · Guru

should I feel this way?

hi Milo, Only if you want to feel that way, stay excited Milo.........Billeeeeeee

exa41 · Guru

Hi Milo , you know its always a guilt thing isn` it , I retired 12 month ago on the 31st of this month and as Ken and others have said it will take time . I lost my mum and dad in the early 80`s two weeks apart ( cancer ) and took a while to get over but you do eventually at your own pace . People struggle at times , specially on the pension and I`m no different but I have worked all my life to get where I am and eventually when I get on the road I don't want to feel guilty about what I have got and neither should you or any other person on this great site . I guess life is what you make it isn`t it.

glendadon · Veteran Member

I love all the replies and they are right just enjoy every day and forget about those big vans you see just buy what you can afford and love every minute you get on the road as many grey nomads do.

Don & Glenda

barrie · Guru

Just go for it Milo and make some new friends whilst travelling, it does not cost that much to live on the road

bill12 · Guru

Dreaming costs Nothing, Milo. Keep on dreaming. you never know, sometimes dreams come true. Bill

Gary J · Member

Hi Milo,
I think this is my first post ever.
I too am retired (nearly two years now). I lost my best mate, ie Dad, in 2012 and Mum in 2013. I still feel so many emotions like you too probably.
I'll never forget them and talk to them most days.
Native pepper hit the nail right on the head in the post above.
They provided me with love, resilience and confidence to go on.

cheers
Gary

pawsoz · Senior Member

Milo, as others have said loss and changes in life take some adjusting too, it's never easy.
Yes the budget will likely affect most of us, but you know by getting out and travelling slow and spending what you can afford you would be helping others and most likely yourself too. Many of those small towns with the interesting people will be sorely affected in a number of ways.
Milo I am sure you will make the right decision for you and you will enjoy it once you get started!
Annie

GaryKelly · Guru

While I live I will grow was the motto of Anthony Hordern's, a large Sydney department store back when I was a kid. The store's logo was a tree. As I see it, that's the way life is, and not just for trees. You're not gonna grow and lead a fulfilling life sitting around feeling guity and sad, Milo. So keep that motto in mind... while I live I will grow.

milo · Guru

thanks guys, I'm off to look at some campers today..
its just a hard road I'm on at the moment

barrie · Guru

It does get easier HONEST

moblet · Senior Member

My one-liner is to grieve and live, and not get bogged in between. If life wasn't worth living it wouldn't be worth grieving.

Looking at campers will be a good distraction even if you decide not to go that way.

Tracking where your money goes would help you figure out what you can and can't afford to do. I've been doing this since I went on the road, and have learned how to value and trade off the expenses that are the most controllable, especially travel and accommodation. The nomadic life is very doable on a pension if you mostly free camp, prepare your own food, and don't drive a lot. I'm happy to send you my spreadsheet as a template or help you construct your own.

Legendts · Senior Member

Milo my friend, what you are feeling is a natural process. Those of us that have lost loved know where you're at and what you're feeling and feel for you. Never, ever, lose the dream Milo. Dreams give you options. Options allow you to take paths in life that you may, under other circumstances not take, it's called "The journey of life", your life Milo, no one elses, but yours. Enjoy your life, embrace your dreams and remember your Dad with love. I lost my Dad in my early 20s (now 68) and my Mum 14 years ago and I still have a chat with them, even have a passport photo of Mum in my glasses case.
Take care and keep your dreams alive because you never know when those dreams may become a reality.