He looked up Bear removalist's in the Yellow pages - Dialled the closest one and asked him to come and get thee Bear.

The removalist turned up in a rusty old truck with a cage on the back.

He had a ladder, a baseball bat, and a shotgun and was accompanied by a heavily scarred old mean looking Bulldog.

"What are you going to?' do the homeowner asked.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, climb up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.

When the bear falls off the roof the bulldog is trained to grab him by the testicles, until he is subdued enough to put him in the cage on the truck".

He then handed the shotgun to the owner.

"What's this for?" asked the owner.

The revivalist replied "Well, if the bear manages to knock me off the roof instead",

- Shoot the bloody dog".