I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' A woman was trying hard to get the tomato sauce out of the bottle.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle. A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

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Arrived home to find a pretty woman grouting the bathroom & singing, 'Its a heartache, nothing but a fools game.'

I thought, "She's a Bonnie Tiler........"

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Two elderly women, after retirement, ate lunch together every Wednesday. One day as they were just sitting down at their lunch table, one said to the other, What in the world is that sticking out of your ear? What do you mean? That white thing in your left ear. She pulled it out looked at it for a few seconds and said, Oh my that is a suppository! After a few more seconds she said, Now I think I know where I put my hearing aid.