The co*ky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock .
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
"Typical bloody sheep," he thought, "they've got no common sense,
"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that coc*y swam
He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away,
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"
The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The C0cky's reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
Southern Cruizer said
01:16 PM Feb 17, 2024
Very good one. Have seen a different version and different words but all means the same thing.
Sadly yesterday on our way into town from where we live we pulled up on side of road to turn on the car fridge and could see about 18 to 20 dead sheep all around the dam, only one in the water, rest scattered all around dam banks, bloated and legs stuck up in the air. Access gates to paddock were locked and to avoid any problems of possible trespass continued on and as soon as possible passed info onto the livestock polioce in major town. At this stage haven't heard anything as they haven't rang back with any information.
Passed info on quick as possible as having owned and lived on farms most of my life, I knew straight away that if you only have one or two dead that's not overly a big problem but when you see multiple dead then there is something wrong.
Sadly yesterday on our way into town from where we live we pulled up on side of road to turn on the car fridge and could see about 18 to 20 dead sheep all around the dam, only one in the water, rest scattered all around dam banks, bloated and legs stuck up in the air. Access gates to paddock were locked and to avoid any problems of possible trespass continued on and as soon as possible passed info onto the livestock polioce in major town. At this stage haven't heard anything as they haven't rang back with any information.
Passed info on quick as possible as having owned and lived on farms most of my life, I knew straight away that if you only have one or two dead that's not overly a big problem but when you see multiple dead then there is something wrong.