This guy was marooned on a desert island for three years before being rescued. In the pub one night his mate asked how he coped with being alone all that time.

Well, he says "I did have sex once"

"How could you have sex when you are on your own?"

"Well I was out trying to find some food when I came across this Ostrich with his head in the sand"

"How on earth did you go having sex with an Ostrich" said his mate.

"Pretty good for the first 50 yards".