On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar, but less serious, state.

The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Platoon Leader asked the injured Australian what had happened.

The soldier reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, when a heavily armed insurgent approached from the opposite direction. We saw each other and both of us took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that the ISIS leader al - Baghdadi was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who would get what he deserves.

He yelled back that Bill Shorten is a unionist, good for - nothing, left wing dickhead who knows bugger all about how to run Australia and should stand down as boss of the ALP.

So I said that the new Isis leader dresses and acts like a frigid, mean - spirited lesbian!

He retaliated by yelling, 'Oh yeah? Well, so does Penny Wong!'

And there we were, in the middle of the road, laughing, shaking hands

When a bloody truck hit us.