I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter when she picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because it's been laying outside and it is dirty and probably has germs." At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "...all moms knows this stuff? Um, it's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get It!" she beamed. "So if you flunk, you have to be the Daddy."
'R' Troubles
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.'' In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates--many of them already laughing at him--then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''
.
Railroad Worker
A railroad worker killed a customer in a fight. He was convicted of murder and sent to the electric chair. But when they turned on the juice, he was unaffected. Everyone was stunned.
When reporters asked him how he withstood the charge, he said, "I'm just a bad conductor!"
Whenarewethere said
12:46 PM Oct 27, 2023
A slight variation on the first one.
Mother & Son.
Mother picks at a lost pension cheque from the gutter.
Son says: don't pick that up, all sorts of things live on that.
Mother's says: it's so small nothing can live on it!
The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter when she picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because it's been laying outside and it is dirty and probably has germs." At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "...all moms knows this stuff? Um, it's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get It!" she beamed. "So if you flunk, you have to be the Daddy."
'R' Troubles
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.'' In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates--many of them already laughing at him--then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''
.
Railroad Worker
A railroad worker killed a customer in a fight. He was convicted of murder and sent to the electric chair. But when they turned on the juice, he was unaffected. Everyone was stunned.
When reporters asked him how he withstood the charge, he said, "I'm just a bad conductor!"
A slight variation on the first one.
Mother & Son.
Mother picks at a lost pension cheque from the gutter.
Son says: don't pick that up, all sorts of things live on that.
Mother's says: it's so small nothing can live on it!