Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds 3 times every day.

Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take? I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.

I stopped. Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts 3 times every day will make my breasts larger over the years?

Without missing a beat he said, Worked for your bum, didnt it?

The idiot is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man