I was propped up in my deck chair, beneath the awning shade.
I'd knocked the top off of a stubby, it was about that time of day.
Just then around the corner a car and van appeared.
They had the look of newbies, it was the worst I feared.
They pulled up right adjacent to their allotted spot
They got out and perused the site, to work out what was what.
Then I knew the fun was starting and I cracked the biggest grin.
He said.....'Help me will you honey ,im gonna back her in'.
"Now remember dear I told you,the opposite applies.
Right hand down to push her left...left to push her right".
Right then the lady was confused about which hand to wave
I could see this turning ugly , the consequences grave.
The first attempt did not go well, he jack knifed right away
"Hon",he said...."I told you....it goes the other way.
Darls I know it's awkward, you just do your best"
Then the van jack knifed the other way, it was gonna be a test.
He got out of the drivers seat, he said "I didn't see your sign"
She said...".well I was waving dear...both hands...all the time."
He said...".I couldn't see you, you were right behind the van.
So stand out to the side a bit....do you think you can?"
"Surely you can see from there,which way I gotta go..
Surely you can make a sign to let me bloody know?"
She said "I'm trying ,honestly, to get my signals right"
He said....."well try a little harder or we'll be here all bloody night".
She didn't like his tone of voice...and she told him so
"Well", he said, "you know so much...jump in and have a go".
She slid into the drivers seat....it was really getting tense
Her foot slipped off the pedal,and she backed into the fence
He had a look of horror ...tho the damage wasn't great
She had hit the panic button, she was really in a state
"You know you made me do that , you waved that hand not the other"
Then through gritted teeth he hissed those fatal words.......".geez you're like your mother!"
WELL!!!! you could have heard a pin drop, he knew he'd gone too far
Her eyes were shooting daggers as she stepped slowly from the car.
She'd spat the dummy properly, thrown the toys out of the cot
And he knew beyond the slightest doubt, he was gonna cop the lot
She had her pointed index finger.... almost on his nose
She made sure he knew how mad she was with the next words that she chose.
'Listen here you senile ****t , I've had about enough
Your superior he man bulldust and all that other stuff'.
"Get into the car old man..let me see you back the van
Mr. Super bloody stud can do it if anybody can.
I'm going to the coffee shop I don't need this kind of stress
If you were nice to me and patient we wouldn't end up in this mess."
After trying for an hour and not having any luck
He asked me if I'd back it in for him....he'd give me fifty bucks
I placed the van in perfectly...he was organised at last
He handed me the fifty bucks just as my wife walked past.
That sparked a new debate, she called me miserable and cheap
That was fifty dollars I would never get to keep
She took the money from me....and caused a whole new round of strife
She strutted up to their van and gave the money to the wife.
No amount of talking was going to save his skin
She had him on the back foot ...and geez.... didn't she rip in!!
A savage verbal payout ...he had to cop it like a man
All because he couldn't back a flamin' caravan.
Aussie Paul.
Bicyclecamper said
09:13 PM Mar 24, 2022
That is the best rhyme I have ever read. The thing is, is that both the wife and I can back a van, and 2 trailers of a road train. I trained her to do it if anything ever happened to me, as in the road train she was along for the ride mostly.
chappy said
11:19 PM Mar 31, 2022
Love it thanks!
Stewart said
08:31 AM Apr 1, 2022
That is so funny we both had good laugh. After watching a Ute with a camper trailer do six circles and many attempts to reverse into his site. Only to find after finally completing it he was on the wrong one yesterday. Much hand flapping and discussion took place. Cheers Stewart.
Love it thanks!