I was pulled over by a cop car one day.

The policeman said if I could give him a good excuse for speeding he would let me off.

I said" well last week my wife left me for a policeman"

He said, what has that got do with you speeding?

I said, "well I thought it might have been you, and you were chasing me to give her back"

His reply.....off you go, have a good day.