An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
 
I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected.
 
I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate.
 
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
 
I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops.
 
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
 
My wife claims I'm the cheapest person she's ever met. I'm not buying it.
 
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
 
I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.
 
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.