A woman goes to buy a rod and reel for her grandsons birthday. She doesnt know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel? He says, Maam, Im completely blind; but if youll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.
She doesnt believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, Thats a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. Its a good all-around combination, and its on sale this week for only $20.
She says, Its amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. Ill take it!
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard, he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldnt know that she was the only person around?
The man rings up the sale and says, Thatll be $34.50 please.
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, Didnt you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?
He replies, Yes, maam. The rod and reel is $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.
She paid it and left without saying a word.
Roy E said
04:45 PM Feb 22, 2021
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) -by Pam Ayres
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey