Religious squirrels.
- Possum3 said06:49 AM Jan 6, 2021
- Thunda said10:20 AM Jan 7, 2021
- oldbloke said04:48 PM Jan 9, 2021
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.
After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with Gods divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry.
The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of Gods creatures.
So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.
Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path,
Setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning.
They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy!
They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church.
Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue.
They took the first squirrel and circumcised him.
They havent seen a squirrel since.
I can't believe you never got a reply to this.
I'll bet there some out there that would just strap a miniture vest packed with fire crackers an a timer on them squirrels .
But they wouldn't send them to the catholic church because there's never anyone in em.
Lol. That's pretty good