Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence
at Government House.
One is from Cabramatta, another is from
Marrickville, and the third is from Lane Cove.
All three go with an official to examine the fence.
The Cabramatta contractor takes out a tape measure
and does some measuring, then works some figures
with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900,
$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit
for me."
The Marrickville contractor also does some measuring
and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700.
That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
profit for me."
The Lane Cove contractor doesn't measure or figure,
but leans over to the government official and whispers,
"$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure
like the other guys. How did you come up with such a
high figure?"
The Lane Cove contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me,
$1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Marrickville to
fix the fence."
"Done!" Replies the government official.
And that, my fellow tax payers, is how a Government Stimulus plan works.
erad said
02:13 PM Oct 26, 2020
Wrong - it works by multiplying the land value near an airport by 10 and paying your friends the hugely escalated price and then leasing it back to them.
ConsumerMan said
09:05 PM Oct 26, 2020
Ha, good joke. I heard that joke just last week with very much a Victorian flavour with Melbourne suburbs and a very high ranking parliamentry official. The final figure was $3700 because the last contractor had to add $1000 for the union boss.
Whenarewethere said
09:36 PM Oct 26, 2020
& the fence in the USA would be repaired with a DeWalt AR-15 nail gun!
dorian said
06:57 AM Oct 27, 2020
Whenarewethere wrote:
& the fence in the USA would be repaired with a DeWalt AR-15 nail gun!
Speaking of fences, years ago there was outrage when the US public became aware just how much defence contractors were ripping off the taxpayer. I recall one example where the rubber grommet at the base of a pilot's seat (in a B52 bomber?) was billed at over $1000 when the same grommet was available at the hardware store for a few cents.
Possum3 said
09:54 AM Oct 27, 2020
dorian wrote:
Speaking of fences, years ago there was outrage when the US public became aware just how much defence contractors ..........................................
Reminds me of when Teacher was talking about Prefixes and asked Johnny for a sentence using, Delight, Depot and Defence.
Johnny's answer; Delight was out and Depot was full, so I did it over Defence.
The Fence Repair - Australian style !!!
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence
at Government House.
One is from Cabramatta, another is from
Marrickville, and the third is from Lane Cove.
All three go with an official to examine the fence.
The Cabramatta contractor takes out a tape measure
and does some measuring, then works some figures
with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900,
$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit
for me."
The Marrickville contractor also does some measuring
and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700.
That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
profit for me."
The Lane Cove contractor doesn't measure or figure,
but leans over to the government official and whispers,
"$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure
like the other guys. How did you come up with such a
high figure?"
The Lane Cove contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me,
$1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Marrickville to
fix the fence."
"Done!" Replies the government official.
And that, my fellow tax payers, is how a Government Stimulus plan works.
& the fence in the USA would be repaired with a DeWalt AR-15 nail gun!
Speaking of fences, years ago there was outrage when the US public became aware just how much defence contractors were ripping off the taxpayer. I recall one example where the rubber grommet at the base of a pilot's seat (in a B52 bomber?) was billed at over $1000 when the same grommet was available at the hardware store for a few cents.
Reminds me of when Teacher was talking about Prefixes and asked Johnny for a sentence using, Delight, Depot and Defence.
Johnny's answer; Delight was out and Depot was full, so I did it over Defence.