Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I had a very valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too humiliating. I simply mentioned Id sustained a head injury, and hoped I would feel up to coming back to work in a few days.
By then, I thought I could come up with an excuse to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
My accident occurred mainly because Id given in to "Her" wishes (nagging) to get a wee kitten.
One morning, I was taking a shower when our kitchen sink blocked. So she shouted to me. Come out and fix the kitchen sink.
"In a minute then." I shouted back.
"But its about to overflow all over the floor" She persisted.
So out I came, naked and dripping wet towel around waist; sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink.
This is the last action I remember performing.
Suddenly the new kitten struck without warning shed discovered fascinating dangling objects between my legs and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
I then lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my undercarriage.
A man in this predicament can only choose the flight option. and as I was fleeing straight up into the air, the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent, knocking me out cold.
When I awoke, the paramedics and "She" stood over me.
Now I imagine there cant be many things in this life worse than finding yourself lying on the kitchen floor naked in front of a group of been-there, done-that paramedicsbut somehow I lived through it all.
A few days later I finally made it back in to work, where my colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about the head injury.
I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
"Whats the matter?" They all asked. "Cat got your tongue?"
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I had a very valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too humiliating. I simply mentioned Id sustained a head injury, and hoped I would feel up to coming back to work in a few days.
By then, I thought I could come up with an excuse to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
My accident occurred mainly because Id given in to "Her" wishes (nagging) to get a wee kitten.
One morning, I was taking a shower when our kitchen sink blocked. So she shouted to me. Come out and fix the kitchen sink.
"In a minute then." I shouted back.
"But its about to overflow all over the floor" She persisted.
So out I came, naked and dripping wet towel around waist; sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink.
This is the last action I remember performing.
Suddenly the new kitten struck without warning shed discovered fascinating dangling objects between my legs and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
I then lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my undercarriage.
A man in this predicament can only choose the flight option. and as I was fleeing straight up into the air, the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent, knocking me out cold.
When I awoke, the paramedics and "She" stood over me.
Now I imagine there cant be many things in this life worse than finding yourself lying on the kitchen floor naked in front of a group of been-there, done-that paramedicsbut somehow I lived through it all.
A few days later I finally made it back in to work, where my colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about the head injury.
I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
"Whats the matter?" They all asked. "Cat got your tongue?"
If they only knew.