"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff. "OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts. "Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch."
Although impressed, Colin's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks Colin's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else." Colin says..
"President Clinton." His boss quickly retorts.
"Yes." Colin says. "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."......And off they go.
At the White House, Clinton spots Colin on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying. "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope." His boss replies.
"Sure." Says Colin. "My folks are from Poland and I've known the Pope a long time."..... So off they fly to Rome...
Colin and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says. "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Colin asks him. "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says. "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said. 'Who the f**ks that on the balcony with Colin?"
Aussie Paul.
-- Edited by aussie_paul on Sunday 29th of September 2019 05:10:21 PM
tonyd said
05:45 PM Sep 29, 2019
Hey Paul, I needed a laugh today and that sure gave me one. Thank you!
TonyD
iana said
11:12 AM Sep 30, 2019
Yeah! that's a good one.
A bone to pick with you, how come you've been so quiet on the forum of late. : )
aussie_paul said
11:45 AM Sep 30, 2019
iana wrote:
Yeah! that's a good one. A bone to pick with you, how come you've been so quiet on the forum of late. : )
Been quite unwell and diagnosed with treatment resistant depression iana. Medication change and ECT since May, so a roughish road of late for Eril and myself.
Aussie Paul.
WAssa41 said
07:50 AM Oct 1, 2019
Look after yourself Aussie Paul we all need cheering up with your jokes.
Colin was bragging to his boss one day:
"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff. "OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts. "Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch."
Although impressed, Colin's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks Colin's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else." Colin says..
"President Clinton." His boss quickly retorts.
"Yes." Colin says. "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."......And off they go.
At the White House, Clinton spots Colin on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying. "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope." His boss replies.
"Sure." Says Colin. "My folks are from Poland and I've known the Pope a long time.".....
So off they fly to Rome...
Colin and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says. "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Colin asks him. "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says. "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said. 'Who the f**ks that on the balcony with Colin?"
Aussie Paul.
-- Edited by aussie_paul on Sunday 29th of September 2019 05:10:21 PM
TonyD
A bone to pick with you, how come you've been so quiet on the forum of late. : )
Been quite unwell and diagnosed with treatment resistant depression iana. Medication change and ECT since May, so a roughish road of late for Eril and myself.
Aussie Paul.
Look after yourself Aussie Paul we all need cheering up with your jokes.
All the best
Wassa41