Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.
AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.
The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because itimpedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, formingisodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe thatGovernmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
Whencatalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.
Cadpete said
11:05 PM Nov 22, 2017
Many a true word said in gest ...
Blues Man said
06:43 AM Nov 23, 2017
It's even worse than that.
Desert Dweller said
09:53 AM Nov 23, 2017
And when they get ''the flick'' they get appointed as an ambassador to an overseas country & enjoy staying in the best hotels, drinking the finest wines & eating gourmet food. Alexander Downer for instance.
rockylizard said
10:18 AM Nov 23, 2017
Gday...
Good to read that all over agen. Some people are too clever.
However, given it is very rare to encounter someone who does not support the view expressed in the above description, how come Governmentium and Administratium continue in perpetuity - usually as described.
How come we, the unwashed masses continue to promote and give it life ... or do the majority not see it as we do? Wot are we missin' ?
Jest sayin'
Cheers - John
Lancelot Link said
07:31 PM Nov 23, 2017
They have just announced there is actually two isotopes to this element. The first one is Stategovernmentium which causes an agitation of Governmentium whenever they meet to the point where the friction may cause internal combustion of one or the other! The second is Localgovernmentium which has been found to be useless for anything except for holding doors open!
Recoup said
08:38 PM Nov 23, 2017
Please don't pick on our politicians , they are humans to ,some even have friends , cheers
Cupie said
10:13 PM Nov 23, 2017
Recoup wrote:
Please don't pick on our politicians , they are humans to ,some even have friends , cheers
Actually, I think that you are absolutely correct.
They have a thankless job with their whole life open to public examination & criticism.
I reckon that their working life is extremely demanding and requires long hours of dedicated application.
Sure they make a reasonable income & may have a good pension & health scheme but perhaps much less than they might have made outside of politics. All that stuff that we see on TV, like world travel et al. appears far more glamorous than it is in reality. I spent several years criss crossing the nation up the front of the aircraft & staying in 5 star hotels & I can tell you from personal experience that it is no fun just bloody lonely hard work.
SWMBO has often remarked that I should have gone into politics, perhaps because of my enduring interest & comment on things political & economic. However I could never have done the hard yards through the party machine to build up the necessary personal public support and to get myself into an electable position on a party ticket. Not sure that I could do the hard yards & suffer the public criticism that comes with the job .. in Australia at least.
So in general & with the exception of a few nut cases, Politicians have my admiration for the effort that they put into doing what they believe is best for the nation and our Australian society.
Desert Dweller said
05:09 AM Nov 24, 2017
Cupie wrote:
Politicians have my admiration for the effort that they put into doing what they believe is best for the nation and our Australian society.
They have our admiration for always doing what they think is best for THEMSELVES.
dorian said
07:19 AM Nov 24, 2017
Cupie wrote:
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years ...
... at which time it becomes aware of the existence of heretofore invisible particles called electrons.
Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.
AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.
The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.
Many a true word said in gest ...
It's even worse than that.
Gday...
Good to read that all over agen.
Some people are too clever. 
However, given it is very rare to encounter someone who does not support the view expressed in the above description, how come Governmentium and Administratium continue in perpetuity - usually as described.
How come we, the unwashed masses continue to promote and give it life ... or do the majority not see it as we do? Wot are we missin' ?
Jest sayin'
Cheers - John
Actually, I think that you are absolutely correct.
They have a thankless job with their whole life open to public examination & criticism.
I reckon that their working life is extremely demanding and requires long hours of dedicated application.
Sure they make a reasonable income & may have a good pension & health scheme but perhaps much less than they might have made outside of politics. All that stuff that we see on TV, like world travel et al. appears far more glamorous than it is in reality. I spent several years criss crossing the nation up the front of the aircraft & staying in 5 star hotels & I can tell you from personal experience that it is no fun just bloody lonely hard work.
SWMBO has often remarked that I should have gone into politics, perhaps because of my enduring interest & comment on things political & economic. However I could never have done the hard yards through the party machine to build up the necessary personal public support and to get myself into an electable position on a party ticket. Not sure that I could do the hard yards & suffer the public criticism that comes with the job .. in Australia at least.
So in general & with the exception of a few nut cases, Politicians have my admiration for the effort that they put into doing what they believe is best for the nation and our Australian society.
They have our admiration for always doing what they think is best for THEMSELVES.
... at which time it becomes aware of the existence of heretofore invisible particles called electrons.