This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
Men Are Just Happier People.
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $7,000.00. Tux rental - $300.00. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10.99 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on 24th December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $30.00, even though it's only for $80.00. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $4.00 for a $2.00 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $2.00 for a $4.00 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams, wedding anniversaries, birth dates.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women that have a sense of humour.... and to the men who will enjoy reading
Possum3 said
03:01 PM Mar 1, 2017
Rod, Did you need permission to post that, or are you a fan of living dangerously?
rgren2 said
09:35 PM Mar 1, 2017
My wife laughed at it.
Hope other wife's do too. Too many old farts here that don't appreciate a bit of humour.
Possum3 said
10:57 PM Mar 1, 2017
Rod, I didn't mean to offend - my comment was meant to be humorous - As a matter of fact the Child-Bride has sent it off to all her friends
meetoo said
10:57 PM Mar 1, 2017
Ahh, so true
Cheers, John.
rgren2 said
04:45 AM Mar 2, 2017
Not offended, still too many people who seem to have their funny bone amputated.
Dougwe said
02:35 PM Mar 2, 2017
I had a good chuckle rgren2, nothing more said from me though
Vince said
03:04 PM Mar 2, 2017
Nailed it
Ron-D said
04:42 PM Mar 2, 2017
Very funny thanks for posting...
Roundthebend said
06:58 PM Mar 2, 2017
Got me snickering, thought it was funny
Woody n Sue said
11:16 AM Mar 3, 2017
Yep good one
Woody
Kisha said
02:04 PM Mar 4, 2017
rgren2 that was awesome, not short of a laugh on this end :).....Kisha
macka17 said
01:37 PM Mar 5, 2017
Everybody should be walking round with a smile on their face. Male and female.
Look at us.
Look at where we are. what we doing.
We must be some of the luckiest (But mainly worked hard to get here)
people on the planet.
In our class anyway.
Rich. You worry about keeping it.
Poor.You worry about getting it.
Middle of pack. You just enjoy life.
Do it. and SMILE.
We've retired. All the hard is behind us.
On the easy downhill slide to meeting your mum.
Couldn't be better if you tried hey.
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
Men Are Just Happier People.
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $7,000.00. Tux rental - $300.00. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10.99 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on 24th December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $30.00, even though it's only for $80.00. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $4.00 for a $2.00 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $2.00 for a $4.00 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams, wedding anniversaries, birth dates.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women that have a sense of humour.... and to the men who will enjoy reading
My wife laughed at it.
Hope other wife's do too. Too many old farts here that don't appreciate a bit of humour.
Ahh, so true
Cheers, John.
Not offended, still too many people who seem to have their funny bone amputated.
I had a good chuckle rgren2, nothing more said from me though
Very funny thanks for posting...
Woody
rgren2 that was awesome, not short of a laugh on this end :).....Kisha
Look at us.
Look at where we are. what we doing.
We must be some of the luckiest (But mainly worked hard to get here)
people on the planet.
In our class anyway.
Rich. You worry about keeping it.
Poor.You worry about getting it.
Middle of pack. You just enjoy life.
Do it. and SMILE.
We've retired. All the hard is behind us.
On the easy downhill slide to meeting your mum.
Couldn't be better if you tried hey.