The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only
aspire.

This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the
English language used correctly.

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed
discreetly.
"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in *The Times* and found a word the exact meaning
of which I am not too certain."

"What word is that?" asked His Lordship.

"Aplomb," My Lord.

"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or
complete composure."

"Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused about it."

"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few
months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a
weekend with us?"
"I remember the occasion very well, My Lord. It gave the staff and myself
much pleasure to look after them."

"Also, the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Wills plucked
a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"

"I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs.

"While Will was plucking the rose, a thorn pricked and embedded itself in his thumb
very deeply."

"I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the
thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

"That evening the hole the rose made in his thumb was very sore. Kate had
to cut his venison for him, even though it was extremely tender."

"Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

"And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her
Ladyship, Kate inquired of Will in a loud voice,
'Darling, does your prick still throb?'

 And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee ?

That, Carson, is complete composure, or aplomb.