As a Grey Nomad, I am in the age group that probably gets into trouble the most for political incorrectness. Yet tonight in a restaurant I ordered a pure blonde and a sticky date without getting into trouble. In my youth I'd have got my lights punched out for such an order. True story. I was in a shop the other day and the checkout chick asked the old bloke in front of me if he wanted a bag. "No. I've got one at home". I pissed myself laughing but the chick had no idea what was going on.

Not too long ago I was standing at the checkout of the local greengrocer. The checkout chick was a very buxom and attractive young girl. As she was scanning my produce (I mean the fruit and veg) an older gentleman joined the queue. He was holding two rock melons, one in each upturned palm. I thought to myself, this kind of opportunity only ever presents itself once in the lifetime of the universe. If I wanted to seize the moment, it had to be now. Never again would the planets align in the same way. Sid James always got away with it in the Carry On movies, and Austin Powers would still get away with it today.

I desperately wanted to say "nice melons", but I wimped out.

Wimp.

Here's me thinking you were going to complete the set with a cumber!

heheh....I often reply when asked if I want a bag to put my goods in, "that I already have one".

The older checkout ladies get it straight away and laugh, but the young ones - its just flying pig material. They either don't understand, or just thinking about what theyre doing when they finish work - not interested in the customers they serve (not to be confused with customer service)