Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think...I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled
with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Woolworths won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
shekon said
05:38 PM Feb 27, 2015
That is a wonderful story. If only we could think that quickly on our feet when somebody asks the bleeding obvious. Still chuckling.
Dougwe said
07:05 PM Feb 27, 2015
I might have to mop the floor Ken. Funny as mate.
Sheba said
09:46 PM Feb 27, 2015
Love it BG.
Cheers,
Sheba.
jules47 said
09:56 PM Feb 27, 2015
Ash Sheba, you are back! All ok after the cyclone, couple of broken windows, I hear. Sent you a text message, hope you got it.
jade46 said
07:51 AM Feb 28, 2015
Its on its way around the world My wife put it on Facebook and it off and running
Very good laugh
aussietraveller said
05:20 PM Mar 2, 2015
A great one BG much better than my discussion with the woman who managed to ram me with a trolley three times and didn't offer an apology on any occasion my wife wasn't real impressed with my approach to the issue but would have loved yours
pricey43 said
05:33 PM Mar 2, 2015
We need a 'like' tag on the posts.
Jenzarl said
09:49 AM Mar 3, 2015
Here you go Pricey. (If you want one for yourself go to google images type in "Like" and save image then insert to forum when needed)
Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think...I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled
with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Woolworths won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
I might have to mop the floor Ken. Funny as mate.
Love it BG.
Cheers,
Sheba.
Very good laugh
Here you go Pricey. (If you want one for yourself go to google images type in "Like" and save image then insert to forum when needed)