Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King inYpsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Contrary to common belief, there is no panel of distinguished judges weighing each potential Darwin Award entry then sagely reaching agreement as to which deserves an official accolade. Darwin Awards e-mails have been circulating on the Internet at least since May 1991, with the earliest e-mails and newsgroups posts of this nature setting before posterity inventive works of fiction that had been labeled by their authors as true accounts of actual deaths.
Contrary to common belief, there is no panel of distinguished judges weighing each potential Darwin Award entry then sagely reaching agreement as to which deserves an official accolade. Darwin Awards e-mails have been circulating on the Internet at least since May 1991, with the earliest e-mails and newsgroups posts of this nature setting before posterity inventive works of fiction that had been labeled by their authors as true accounts of actual deaths.
Your such a killjoy Dorian!!
G.
dorian said
08:26 PM Jan 17, 2015
I knew there was something wrong almost immediately. In fact I bought two of the Darwin Awards books. The awards are given to people who have eliminated themselves from the gene pool, either by killing themselves, or by rendering themselves incapable of reproducing. Some survivors also get an honourable mention.
petengail said
10:49 PM Jan 17, 2015
Harare to Bullawayo...... long ride no wonder he stopped for a beer lol
aussietraveller said
10:54 PM Jan 17, 2015
I think number 10 is definitely worth an award,I had a good laugh too.
Contrary to common belief, there is no panel of distinguished judges weighing each potential Darwin Award entry then sagely reaching agreement as to which deserves an official accolade. Darwin Awards e-mails have been circulating on the Internet at least since May 1991, with the earliest e-mails and newsgroups posts of this nature setting before posterity inventive works of fiction that had been labeled by their authors as true accounts of actual deaths.
Your such a killjoy Dorian!!
G.
I was going to say something similar, and I think that most posters agree with you G.
Come on Dorian you can be nice sometimes can't ya?? We are here for a bit of fun, ya don't have to spoil it all the time!!!
XXX .. Sarg.
cultana said
01:38 AM Jan 19, 2015
sarg wrote:
Gunsondeck wrote:
Your such a killjoy Dorian!!
G.
I was going to say something similar, and I think that most posters agree with you G.
Come on Dorian you can be nice sometimes can't ya?? We are here for a bit of fun, ya don't have to spoil it all the time!!!
XXX .. Sarg.
Stop being serious.. If Dorian changed you would all be worrying if he was ill..
Gerty Dancer said
10:14 AM Jan 19, 2015
whatever... I still reckon the #10 is excellent!
rockylizard said
09:58 PM Jan 19, 2015
Gday...
They certainly always make a good read and bring a smile no matter how many times the same ones are trotted out.
They are, of course, getting a bit dated now though
Contrary to common belief, there is no panel of distinguished judges weighing each potential Darwin Award entry then sagely reaching agreement as to which deserves an official accolade. Darwin Awards e-mails have been circulating on the Internet at least since May 1991, with the earliest e-mails and newsgroups posts of this nature setting before posterity inventive works of fiction that had been labeled by their authors as true accounts of actual deaths.
Your such a killjoy Dorian! G.
It's got nothing to do with Dorian being a killjoy it's all about being accurate in what you post. The situations you post are not contenders for a Darwin Award and so your post is inaccurate. It doesn't take long to verify this sort of stuff but if you can't be bothered doing so others will do your job for you. There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it.
Contrary to common belief, there is no panel of distinguished judges weighing each potential Darwin Award entry then sagely reaching agreement as to which deserves an official accolade. Darwin Awards e-mails have been circulating on the Internet at least since May 1991, with the earliest e-mails and newsgroups posts of this nature setting before posterity inventive works of fiction that had been labeled by their authors as true accounts of actual deaths.
Your such a killjoy Dorian! G.
It's got nothing to do with Dorian being a killjoy it's all about being accurate in what you post. The situations you post are not contenders for a Darwin Award and so your post is inaccurate. It doesn't take long to verify this sort of stuff but if you can't be bothered doing so others will do your job for you. There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it.
Dave
Seriously! this is a lighthearted thread, why the need to post this curmudgeonly stuff?
Seems there is nothing some on this forum won't argue about.
"There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it." There certainly is.
dorian said
10:09 AM Jan 20, 2015
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus.
Gunsondeck said
11:37 AM Jan 20, 2015
It's got nothing to do with Dorian being a killjoy it's all about being accurate in what you post. The situations you post are not contenders for a Darwin Award and so your post is inaccurate. It doesn't take long to verify this sort of stuff but if you can't be bothered doing so others will do your job for you. There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it.
-- Edited by Gunsondeck on Tuesday 20th of January 2015 11:40:55 AM
Your such a killjoy Dorian!!
G.
Come on Dorian you can be nice sometimes can't ya?? We are here for a bit of fun, ya don't have to spoil it all the time!!!
XXX .. Sarg.
Stop being serious.. If Dorian changed you would all be worrying if he was ill..
Gday...
They certainly always make a good read and bring a smile
no matter how many times the same ones are trotted out.
They are, of course, getting a bit dated now though
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp
Cheers - John
It's got nothing to do with Dorian being a killjoy it's all about being accurate in what you post. The situations you post are not contenders for a Darwin Award and so your post is inaccurate. It doesn't take long to verify this sort of stuff but if you can't be bothered doing so others will do your job for you. There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it.
Dave
Seriously! this is a lighthearted thread, why the need to post this curmudgeonly stuff?
Seems there is nothing some on this forum won't argue about.
"There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it." There certainly is.
It's got nothing to do with Dorian being a killjoy it's all about being accurate in what you post. The situations you post are not contenders for a Darwin Award and so your post is inaccurate. It doesn't take long to verify this sort of stuff but if you can't be bothered doing so others will do your job for you. There's enough crap floating around the internet without us adding to it.
-- Edited by Gunsondeck on Tuesday 20th of January 2015 11:40:55 AM
Can this be a Darwin award nominee ?
This man is a pretty good shot. Watch at least until he shoots the champagne bottle.
http://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=24113d89dfd8
Now, that had to hurt !
(always wear the p.p.e. appropriate for the task being undertaken..............)
cheers Technogypsy.
________________________________________
Now, that had to hurt !
Blues man.
Looks like the clip of the slingshot was a fake he made.. looked pretty convincing though
Fake headshot.
We all know it is all BS but, we all REALLY REALLY hope that #10 would happen to a thief.