I love this forum for many reasons, I've said it before and I shall say it again. "techies" is where I run to with a problem and I always get an answer.
More people are leaving the forum. A wise contributor to the forum recently suggested that if you have a 'beef' name yourself, and your issue.
So I will.
I am MaryJane. My family nickname for me. I left the forum once due to someone, but I missed it and decided to come back as me. I regretted leaving and realised that a big issue with one person ( who I felt bullied me) was a dumb reason to leave. I felt I needed to be stronger and not let that person screw with my head.
I HATE, with a passion, the negative People. The ones that hide behind a name, remain anonymous cos 'they got no balls'. The sun could be shining, they are alive; but no, they have to pick, destroy, bully and ruin someone's day. And many seem to sit at home, no clue to the open road.
As an observer, there are a minority who contribute regularly, openly and honestly. IMHO they make the forum. They are like a 'forum family' for me; now as a proud and optimistic nomad.
And I miss them. i wish they all would return, in a 'United Front'. Because it's such a great forum. What if all the positive, happy folk could drown out the ones that will NEVER contemplate looking at life through rose coloured glasses?
Why are you, me, allowing ourselves to quit because of them?
Are you quitting because you are insecure against the bullies? Or just because the bullies are winning because of today's world of being 'diplomatically correct'.
And just for the record, I damned near quit over the recent debacle over the 2 people who complained over 'those avatars'.
But I decided not to give them the satisfaction.
So, before anyone else quits, I ask you one question....
"Are you Man or Mouse?". And I'm picking you are Man... But just over the bullsh*t. Just know you are not alone in those thoughts. And please, you good guys, don't quit.
MJ
PS. It's taken guts for me to write this. To the anonymous weird folk ,that will try and destroy me with your nasty comments....You won't... Don't even try. Shut up FOR ONCE in your peculiar anonymous lives. And get a life.
jules47 said
07:53 PM Nov 1, 2014
MaryJane wrote:
I love this forum for many reasons, I've said it before and I shall say it again. "techies" is where I run to with a problem and I always get an answer.
More people are leaving the forum. A wise contributor to the forum recently suggested that if you have a 'beef' name yourself, and your issue.
So I will.
I am MaryJane. My family nickname for me. I left the forum once due to someone, but I missed it and decided to come back as me. I regretted leaving and realised that a big issue with one person ( who I felt bullied me) was a dumb reason to leave. I felt I needed to be stronger and not let that person screw with my head.
I HATE, with a passion, the negative People. The ones that hide behind a name, remain anonymous cos 'they got no balls'. The sun could be shining, they are alive; but no, they have to pick, destroy, bully and ruin someone's day. And many seem to sit at home, no clue to the open road.
As an observer, there are a minority who contribute regularly, openly and honestly. IMHO they make the forum. They are like a 'forum family' for me; now as a proud and optimistic nomad.
And I miss them. i wish they all would return, in a 'United Front'. Because it's such a great forum. What if all the positive, happy folk could drown out the ones that will NEVER contemplate looking at life through rose coloured glasses?
Why are you, me, allowing ourselves to quit because of them?
Are you quitting because you are insecure against the bullies? Or just because the bullies are winning because of today's world of being 'diplomatically correct'.
And just for the record, I damned near quit over the recent debacle over the 2 people who complained over 'those avatars'.
But I decided not to give them the satisfaction.
So, before anyone else quits, I ask you one question....
"Are you Man or Mouse?". And I'm picking you are Man... But just over the bullsh*t. Just know you are not alone in those thoughts. And please, you good guys, don't quit.
MJ
PS. It's taken guts for me to write this. To the anonymous weird folk ,that will try and destroy me with your nasty comments....You won't... Don't even try. Shut up FOR ONCE in your peculiar anonymous lives. And get a life.
The operative words in this post are - "But I decided not to give them the satisfaction."
Totally agree with these words MJ!
rockylizard said
08:24 PM Nov 1, 2014
Gday...
I agree MJ - capitulation only gives "strength to the arm" of the minority.
The lose of informed experience, provided unconditionally, will be sorely missed.
Cheers - John
Baz421 said
08:28 PM Nov 1, 2014
Well said Mary Jane.
I don't hide and I take great satisfaction in what you say,,, ie don't give the bullies the satisfaction they need to survive.
I and some others on this forum (thanks guys), have tackled bullies in the past 2 years or so, and 2 of the worst offenders have left, so you don't have them to worry about at least. We exposed them for what they were and we did hound them a bit ,,lol,,, but what we did was give them some of their own medicine back and they couldn't take it and left.
The forum is a better place without them I can assure you.
So in essence we do care when others are bullied and some of us do tackle it,, AL BE IT QUIETLY WITHOUT FANFARE,,,,,BUT THEY ARE GONE.
They may reinvent themselves who knows.
-- Edited by Baz421 on Saturday 1st of November 2014 08:37:25 PM
Dougwe said
08:28 PM Nov 1, 2014
No nasty replies from this little black duck MJ.
I was one of the unlucky ones in the recent mess but woke up my positive attitude from a two day poppy nap and have had a great week in a great place.
I have had a positive attitude all year and as a result am now in the playground full time with a new Tug and will gave a new Den in about 3 weeks. All because of a positive attitude, one I might add I learnt of a fellow GN from this forum and I only just today told him so.
My positive attitude is here to stay and I agree with you you said MJ.
Oh! That Red, it's still waiting.
Middo said
08:33 PM Nov 1, 2014
I get a lot of information from this forum and others. I hope people continue to contribute. No matter what your experience may be, there is always something new around the corner.
Pete (Middo)
Phil C said
08:42 PM Nov 1, 2014
MJ you rock. I have worn myself out today trying to tackle the bullies but not much luck.
Take care and well done.
GaryKelly said
08:43 PM Nov 1, 2014
I must say I've not had any problems with bullies on this forum. There were a couple of pathetic attempts to ruffle my feathers but I ignored them. But you're right MJ... giving into bullies is dumb.
Baz421 said
08:46 PM Nov 1, 2014
GaryKelly wrote:
I must say I've not had any problems with bullies on this forum. There were a couple of pathetic attempts to ruffle my feathers but I ignored them. But you're right MJ... giving into bullies is dumb.
Gary I don't think it's so much that you haven't been bullied as such, but plenty of others have.
frangipani said
08:53 PM Nov 1, 2014
Well said MJ, I love this forum, love the ppl here, love reading about ppls adventures. I am learning alot from techies, still have lots to learn, like the fact that no one judges me that I don't understand some stuff, but hey I'm here to learn, I'm staying, may not be able to contribute much, but I'm here if anyone needs me - Fran.
KFT said
08:57 PM Nov 1, 2014
Mary Jane you are a legend in my lunchbox.
good on you for putting those words together so succinctly.
I too am still here and I am not going anywhere(that I know of)
bullies are a scourge in any place and deserve to be ignored completely.
frank
Baz421 said
09:05 PM Nov 1, 2014
Frangipani wrote:
Well said MJ, I love this forum, love the ppl here, love reading about ppls adventures. I am learning alot from techies, still have lots to learn, like the fact that no one judges me that I don't understand some stuff, but hey I'm here to learn, I'm staying, may not be able to contribute much, but I'm here if anyone needs me - Fran.
You are contributing by simply being here. Kind words and acts in support of others IS contributing IMHO.
MJ, please understand that, in a forum with 9000+ 'members', there will be many examples of human behaviour on display (and I do not for a moment condone any bullying-type behaviour you may have felt BTW). My point is that this forum has good/bad/indifferent.... no more, probably less than most web-based or society-based comparisons (again cheers, Cindy).....
Meanwhile, positive thoughts for you regarding your point-of-view here and please consider remaining part of the 'good'.
The 'first step', indeed!
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." (Lao-tzu)
Travel Bug said
10:14 PM Nov 1, 2014
Good on you MaryJane
I'm not travelling at present so I haven't been posting as much over recent times (that's soon to change) but I am still proud to say that I am a member of this great forum.
I admit that I thought about leaving over the "avatar debacle" but there was no way that I could allow the "faceless few" to claim a victory.
I am really sorry that so many good members have decided to leave...I hope that in time, they might have a re-think and come back.
Cheers all.
Bruce and Bev said
10:26 PM Nov 1, 2014
Like all the rest here so far MJ,I agree with you!!!
A few get really personal and critical - even nasty - towards those who didn't know (often the newer members), or ask a question that may have been asked and answered many times before - but how many of us (especially if you are actually on the road) have the time to scroll back many pages looking for a topic which might or might not line up with that persons question?
The best way to treat these tiny minded, too much time on their mind, bitter and twisted bullies is to simply ignore their unpleasant posts and let the pleasant and intelligent people answer the question as best as possible.
I was one of those deemed to have an offensive avatar and it was taken down. I left it for 24 hours to consider if I would pull the pin on this forum, but based on the reaction to most to the two who complained, I decided to stay. My signature will stay for a while - to make a point - then I will change it and maybe put a slightly raunchy avatar up again - maybe a naked cat or dog or even........a kangaroo!!!!!!!
glenrod said
10:29 PM Nov 1, 2014
Been a while since I visited here and a bit surprised at the angst the last few days.
Just my opinion but. Maybe a few members have left because of "bullying" but it would appear that several also left over the the avatar issue.
Reading back over their contributions I get the idea that they are quite happy to either stand up for themselves or just let it slide when involved in debates with other members.
It would appear that standing up to the "bully" one on one wasn't a problem. In this instance they seemed to be of the opinion that the "teacher" was coming down on the side of the bullies.
Sorry Cindy, no idea what your position is with regards to this forum, but may I politely suggest that having the power of veto does not always guarantee correctness just absolute authority.
Cheers
Rod
Plendo said
10:37 PM Nov 1, 2014
Mary Jane, I salute you and admire you for what you have just done, it must have been incredibly difficult for you to write what you wrote, and to take the risk of opening yourself up like that.
Not only have you shown your strength and determination, you have acted as a catalyst for many other (including myself) to think about how we exist on the forum, asking ourselves questions like am I a positive influence on the forum. This is all good.
And last but by no means least, you have given many of us the opportunity to express our support for the sentiments you express. Many, even the people who do not post will draw strength from this show of support, knowing the good people are here, and giving them confidence to ask questions in the future.
Well Done, and thank you.
Baz421 said
10:40 PM Nov 1, 2014
glenrod wrote:
Been a while since I visited here and a bit surprised at the angst the last few days.
Just my opinion but. Maybe a few members have left because of "bullying" but it would appear that several also left over the the avatar issue.
Reading back over their contributions I get the idea that they are quite happy to either stand up for themselves or just let it slide when involved in debates with other members.
It would appear that standing up to the "bully" one on one wasn't a problem. In this instance they seemed to be of the opinion that the "teacher" was coming down on the side of the bullies.
Sorry Cindy, no idea what your position is with regards to this forum, but may I politely suggest that having the power of veto does not always guarantee correctness just absolute authority.
Cheers
Rod
Avatar business was only the latest in a string of incidents.
I posted a new post on generators and noise and it got out of control very quickly - in short it seems we either love em or hate em and the hate em's came out everywhere and it got sooo personal Cindy closed the thread (quite rightly).
glenrod said
11:27 PM Nov 1, 2014
Baz,
It seems that whichever forum you frequent that have members discussing the subject of generators, the use or not of a WDH, free/low cost camping v caravan parks, and that old favourite, electrical threads, polarization becomes rife very quickly. In these such instances the site owner, manager, administrator, moderator, webmaster or whatever needs to take a hand to prevent all out warfare and fair enough. Maybe a lot of side issues such as you have raised have been simmering away in the background and it only needs a spark to ignite a flammable situation.
This avatar issue, if one may be so bold as to use the "a" word, seems to have touched an already inflamed nerve with those who appear at least, to be a bunch of pretty laid back characters under different circumstances.
Cheers
Rod
Vic41 said
11:38 PM Nov 1, 2014
Well said Mary Jane...
Mousey said
05:28 AM Nov 2, 2014
jezz im stuffed im a mouse haaaaaaaaa
Cloak said
08:39 AM Nov 2, 2014
Dod I miss something... again.
I go away for a lie down and a coffee and miss the excitement.
Oh well I like everyone here and can't wait to get all retired and go visit you all.
the rocket said
09:08 AM Nov 2, 2014
Travel Bug wrote:
Good on you MaryJane
I'm not travelling at present so I haven't been posting as much over recent times (that's soon to change) but I am still proud to say that I am a member of this great forum.
I admit that I thought about leaving over the "avatar debacle" but there was no way that I could allow the "faceless few" to claim a victory.
I am really sorry that so many good members have decided to leave...I hope that in time, they might have a re-think and come back.
Cheers all.
well said. rocket.
george57 said
09:28 AM Nov 2, 2014
Well said MaryJane..........quitting does not achieve anything.....just empowers the perpetrator.
Only the strong survive.........its good to see that you came back.
Cheers
George & Fatdog
Big Gorilla said
10:25 AM Nov 2, 2014
You raised some good points MJ and I admire you for it. I too was one requested to change Avatars, Wombat, Dougwe and myself. Dougwe has made his Post in this thread. Although I was very annoyed at the outcome, especially with the loss of good Members, like Wombat for example, I just took it in my stride.
Bullying I never will condone, but some of us do take pot shots at each other, but it's done in fun. I plead guilty to that, but I also feel that I contribute to the Forum in areas where I have expertise. If you are bullied, I believe you should report it immediately to Cindy. I'm sure you can count her to take remedial action. If someone pokes a bit of fun at you, poke back. I've always believed that some of the best humor is if you can laugh at yourself.......Take Care.
Webmaster said
10:59 AM Nov 2, 2014
Hi everybody, A forum is only as good as its membership and we are very lucky here to have an amazing membership. However, in a forum this size it is inevitable that there will be disagreements and disputes. I cannot stress strongly enough however that bullying will not be tolerated. If anyone feels they have been bullied either on the forum or via the PM system, then please contact me immediately and I will take action. As I have always done, I urge anyone who has any issues to do with anything to do with the forum to simply PM me. I appreciate being kept in the loop and being given the opportunity to make a more informed decision.
Which brings us on the subject of avatars. It was my decision to outlaw naked avatars and mine alone. I received two complaints about those avatars and I decided they were inappropriate and unnecessary. I must admit I am extremely surprised that it has become such a big issue. Nonetheless, the decision stands.
I would now like to leave this avatar issue behind us, and have the forum return to its core business, ie happily discussing issues relating to the wonderful grey nomad lifestyle. If some people value their right to post pictures of naked or semi-naked people above that of the fun and friendship they can find on the forum, then I genuinely wish them well on their travels.
The vast majority of visitors to this forum are interested in learning about the grey nomad lifestyle and sharing information about it, and I have no intention of having their ability to do so compromised by a disagreement over naked avatars. Please contact me if you have any issues at all relating to the forum and particularly anything relating to bullying. It will not be tolerated.
I love this forum for many reasons, I've said it before and I shall say it again. "techies" is where I run to with a problem and I always get an answer.
More people are leaving the forum. A wise contributor to the forum recently suggested that if you have a 'beef' name yourself, and your issue.
So I will.
I am MaryJane. My family nickname for me. I left the forum once due to someone, but I missed it and decided to come back as me. I regretted leaving and realised that a big issue with one person ( who I felt bullied me) was a dumb reason to leave. I felt I needed to be stronger and not let that person screw with my head.
I HATE, with a passion, the negative People. The ones that hide behind a name, remain anonymous cos 'they got no balls'. The sun could be shining, they are alive; but no, they have to pick, destroy, bully and ruin someone's day. And many seem to sit at home, no clue to the open road.
As an observer, there are a minority who contribute regularly, openly and honestly. IMHO they make the forum. They are like a 'forum family' for me; now as a proud and optimistic nomad.
And I miss them. i wish they all would return, in a 'United Front'. Because it's such a great forum. What if all the positive, happy folk could drown out the ones that will NEVER contemplate looking at life through rose coloured glasses?
Why are you, me, allowing ourselves to quit because of them?
Are you quitting because you are insecure against the bullies? Or just because the bullies are winning because of today's world of being 'diplomatically correct'.
And just for the record, I damned near quit over the recent debacle over the 2 people who complained over 'those avatars'.
But I decided not to give them the satisfaction.
So, before anyone else quits, I ask you one question....
"Are you Man or Mouse?". And I'm picking you are Man... But just over the bullsh*t. Just know you are not alone in those thoughts. And please, you good guys, don't quit.
MJ
PS. It's taken guts for me to write this. To the anonymous weird folk ,that will try and destroy me with your nasty comments....You won't... Don't even try. Shut up FOR ONCE in your peculiar anonymous lives. And get a life.
The operative words in this post are - "But I decided not to give them the satisfaction."
Totally agree with these words MJ!
Gday...
I agree MJ - capitulation only gives "strength to the arm" of the minority.
The lose of informed experience, provided unconditionally, will be sorely missed.
Cheers - John
Well said Mary Jane.
I don't hide and I take great satisfaction in what you say,,, ie don't give the bullies the satisfaction they need to survive.
I and some others on this forum (thanks guys), have tackled bullies in the past 2 years or so, and 2 of the worst offenders have left, so you don't have them to worry about at least. We exposed them for what they were and we did hound them a bit ,,lol,,, but what we did was give them some of their own medicine back and they couldn't take it and left.
The forum is a better place without them I can assure you.
So in essence we do care when others are bullied and some of us do tackle it,, AL BE IT QUIETLY WITHOUT FANFARE,,,,,BUT THEY ARE GONE.
They may reinvent themselves who knows.
-- Edited by Baz421 on Saturday 1st of November 2014 08:37:25 PM
I was one of the unlucky ones in the recent mess but woke up my positive attitude from a two day poppy nap and have had a great week in a great place.
I have had a positive attitude all year and as a result am now in the playground full time with a new Tug and will gave a new Den in about 3 weeks. All because of a positive attitude, one I might add I learnt of a fellow GN from this forum and I only just today told him so.
My positive attitude is here to stay and I agree with you you said MJ.
Oh! That Red, it's still waiting.
Pete (Middo)
Take care and well done.
Gary I don't think it's so much that you haven't been bullied as such, but plenty of others have.
Well said MJ, I love this forum, love the ppl here, love reading about ppls adventures. I am learning alot from techies, still have lots to learn, like the fact that no one judges me that I don't understand some stuff, but hey I'm here to learn, I'm staying, may not be able to contribute much, but I'm here if anyone needs me - Fran.
good on you for putting those words together so succinctly.
I too am still here and I am not going anywhere(that I know of)
bullies are a scourge in any place and deserve to be ignored completely.
frank
You are contributing by simply being here. Kind words and acts in support of others IS contributing IMHO.
Thanx Baz
IMHO
MJ, please understand that, in a forum with 9000+ 'members', there will be many examples of human behaviour on display (and I do not for a moment condone any bullying-type behaviour you may have felt BTW). My point is that this forum has good/bad/indifferent.... no more, probably less than most web-based or society-based comparisons (again cheers, Cindy).....
Meanwhile, positive thoughts for you regarding your point-of-view here and please consider remaining part of the 'good'.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." (Lao-tzu)
Good on you MaryJane
I'm not travelling at present so I haven't been posting as much over recent times (that's soon to change) but I am still proud to say that I am a member of this great forum.
I admit that I thought about leaving over the "avatar debacle" but there was no way that I could allow the "faceless few" to claim a victory.
I am really sorry that so many good members have decided to leave...I hope that in time, they might have a re-think and come back.
Cheers all.
A few get really personal and critical - even nasty - towards those who didn't know (often the newer members), or ask a question that may have been asked and answered many times before - but how many of us (especially if you are actually on the road) have the time to scroll back many pages looking for a topic which might or might not line up with that persons question?
The best way to treat these tiny minded, too much time on their mind, bitter and twisted bullies is to simply ignore their unpleasant posts and let the pleasant and intelligent people answer the question as best as possible.
I was one of those deemed to have an offensive avatar and it was taken down. I left it for 24 hours to consider if I would pull the pin on this forum, but based on the reaction to most to the two who complained, I decided to stay. My signature will stay for a while - to make a point - then I will change it and maybe put a slightly raunchy avatar up again - maybe a naked cat or dog or even........a kangaroo!!!!!!!
Been a while since I visited here and a bit surprised at the angst the last few days.
Just my opinion but. Maybe a few members have left because of "bullying" but it would appear that several also left over the the avatar issue.
Reading back over their contributions I get the idea that they are quite happy to either stand up for themselves or just let it slide when involved in debates with other members.
It would appear that standing up to the "bully" one on one wasn't a problem. In this instance they seemed to be of the opinion that the "teacher" was coming down on the side of the bullies.
Sorry Cindy, no idea what your position is with regards to this forum, but may I politely suggest that having the power of veto does not always guarantee correctness just absolute authority.
Cheers
Rod
Mary Jane, I salute you and admire you for what you have just done, it must have been incredibly difficult for you to write what you wrote, and to take the risk of opening yourself up like that.
Not only have you shown your strength and determination, you have acted as a catalyst for many other (including myself) to think about how we exist on the forum, asking ourselves questions like am I a positive influence on the forum. This is all good.
And last but by no means least, you have given many of us the opportunity to express our support for the sentiments you express. Many, even the people who do not post will draw strength from this show of support, knowing the good people are here, and giving them confidence to ask questions in the future.
Well Done, and thank you.
Avatar business was only the latest in a string of incidents.
I posted a new post on generators and noise and it got out of control very quickly - in short it seems we either love em or hate em and the hate em's came out everywhere and it got sooo personal Cindy closed the thread (quite rightly).
Baz,
It seems that whichever forum you frequent that have members discussing the subject of generators, the use or not of a WDH, free/low cost camping v caravan parks, and that old favourite, electrical threads, polarization becomes rife very quickly. In these such instances the site owner, manager, administrator, moderator, webmaster or whatever needs to take a hand to prevent all out warfare and fair enough. Maybe a lot of side issues such as you have raised have been simmering away in the background and it only needs a spark to ignite a flammable situation.
This avatar issue, if one may be so bold as to use the "a" word, seems to have touched an already inflamed nerve with those who appear at least, to be a bunch of pretty laid back characters under different circumstances.
Cheers
Rod
Well said Mary Jane...
I go away for a lie down and a coffee and miss the excitement.
Oh well I like everyone here and can't wait to get all retired and go visit you all.
well said. rocket.
Only the strong survive.........its good to see that you came back.
Cheers
George & Fatdog
You raised some good points MJ and I admire you for it. I too was one requested to change Avatars, Wombat, Dougwe and myself. Dougwe has made his Post in this thread. Although I was very annoyed at the outcome, especially with the loss of good Members, like Wombat for example, I just took it in my stride.
Bullying I never will condone, but some of us do take pot shots at each other, but it's done in fun. I plead guilty to that, but I also feel that I contribute to the Forum in areas where I have expertise. If you are bullied, I believe you should report it immediately to Cindy. I'm sure you can count her to take remedial action. If someone pokes a bit of fun at you, poke back. I've always believed that some of the best humor is if you can laugh at yourself.......Take Care.
Hi everybody,
A forum is only as good as its membership and we are very lucky here to have an amazing membership. However, in a forum this size it is inevitable that there will be disagreements and disputes. I cannot stress strongly enough however that bullying will not be tolerated. If anyone feels they have been bullied either on the forum or via the PM system, then please contact me immediately and I will take action.
As I have always done, I urge anyone who has any issues to do with anything to do with the forum to simply PM me. I appreciate being kept in the loop and being given the opportunity to make a more informed decision.
Which brings us on the subject of avatars. It was my decision to outlaw naked avatars and mine alone. I received two complaints about those avatars and I decided they were inappropriate and unnecessary. I must admit I am extremely surprised that it has become such a big issue. Nonetheless, the decision stands.
I would now like to leave this avatar issue behind us, and have the forum return to its core business, ie happily discussing issues relating to the wonderful grey nomad lifestyle. If some people value their right to post pictures of naked or semi-naked people above that of the fun and friendship they can find on the forum, then I genuinely wish them well on their travels.
The vast majority of visitors to this forum are interested in learning about the grey nomad lifestyle and sharing information about it, and I have no intention of having their ability to do so compromised by a disagreement over naked avatars.
Please contact me if you have any issues at all relating to the forum and particularly anything relating to bullying. It will not be tolerated.