I was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where I was going at that time of night.

I replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,
As well as smoking and staying out late." 

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" 

I replied, "That would be my wife."

Gave us a good laugh. Thanks BG