For the Engineers amongst us Understanding Engineers
NeilandRaine said
05:54 PM Mar 21, 2014
Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvin...gly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer,the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said,"Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George,What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No,it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me,I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."
Understanding Engineers #9
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently members of political parties
-- Edited by NeilandRaine on Friday 21st of March 2014 05:55:08 PM
dorian said
06:54 PM Mar 21, 2014
NeilandRaine wrote:
Understanding Engineers #9
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently members of political parties.
A real engineer would have measured the length of the flagpole's shadow, compared it against the shadow cast by an object of known height, and then used ratios to arrive at the answer. But I'm an engineer, so I have no sense of humour.
bill12 said
07:13 PM Mar 21, 2014
I was a combat engineer-I would have blownup the base, and booby trapped what was left..........Bill
rockylizard said
07:15 PM Mar 21, 2014
bill12 wrote:
I was a combat engineer-I would have blownup the base, and booby trapped what was left..........Bill
Gday...
.... once a gunny ALWAYS a gunny
cheers - John
brian said
08:52 PM Mar 21, 2014
dorian wrote:
NeilandRaine wrote:
Understanding Engineers #9
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently members of political parties.
A real engineer would have measured the length of the flagpole's shadow, compared it against the shadow cast by an object of known height, and then used ratios to arrive at the answer. But I'm an engineer, so I have no sense of humour.
No...A real engineer would have measured out a set distance on the ground from the flagpole and then calculated the tangent of the angle from that point to the top of the pole. No guessing and very accurate.
johnq said
11:42 PM Mar 21, 2014
dorian wrote:
NeilandRaine wrote:
Understanding Engineers #9
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently members of political parties.
A real engineer would have measured the length of the flagpole's shadow, compared it against the shadow cast by an object of known height, and then used ratios to arrive at the answer. But I'm an engineer, so I have no sense of humour.
Engineers do have to have a sense of humour. Especially on a cloudy day.
Walk up to the flagpole and put a marker at your height. Step back, look and multiply. A real engineer would send the spouse to stand next to the flagpole. Hey, saves walking.
Next, measuring width of a river without sending the missus with string tied to her. Need her to make meals.
dorian said
04:21 AM Mar 22, 2014
brian wrote:
dorian wrote:
NeilandRaine wrote:
Understanding Engineers #9
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently members of political parties.
A real engineer would have measured the length of the flagpole's shadow, compared it against the shadow cast by an object of known height, and then used ratios to arrive at the answer. But I'm an engineer, so I have no sense of humour.
No...A real engineer would have measured out a set distance on the ground from the flagpole and then calculated the tangent of the angle from that point to the top of the pole. No guessing and very accurate.
There is no guessing involved. In fact I used exactly the same method at school.
As for your method, how would you go about measuring the tangent?
dorian said
06:51 AM Mar 22, 2014
I guess you could also run a flag up the pole and measure the length of rope required.
dorian said
06:57 AM Mar 22, 2014
johnq wrote:
Next, measuring width of a river without sending the missus with string tied to her.
You could measure the depth, too.
johnq wrote:
Need her to make meals.
I could learn to cook.
brian said
08:59 AM Mar 22, 2014
dorian wrote:
brian wrote:
No...A real engineer would have measured out a set distance on the ground from the flagpole and then calculated the tangent of the angle from that point to the top of the pole. No guessing and very accurate.
There is no guessing involved. In fact I used exactly the same method at school.
As for your method, how would you go about measuring the tangent?
Of course there's guessing involved, any slight slope on the ground will change the shadow length of either the pole, the comparison item, or both considerably.
As for measuring the tangent, you don't - you measure the angle from the point on the ground to the top of the flagpole using either a simple protractor or, preferably, a Clinometer, and then you calculate the tangent using that angle and the distance measured. Any slope can be easily and accurately accounted for.
Of course, a really-really good engineer would have an Abney level or Scale Hypsometer in his kit or, if he was really clever, would employ a surveyor to do it for him.
The Phantom said
09:08 AM Mar 22, 2014
And all of the above explains why the majority of engineers who worked for me were off with the fairies. The KISS Principle was never evident.
The Phantom
dorian said
10:13 AM Mar 22, 2014
brian wrote:
dorian wrote:
brian wrote:
No...A real engineer would have measured out a set distance on the ground from the flagpole and then calculated the tangent of the angle from that point to the top of the pole. No guessing and very accurate.
There is no guessing involved. In fact I used exactly the same method at school.
As for your method, how would you go about measuring the tangent?
Of course there's guessing involved, any slight slope on the ground will change the shadow length of either the pole, the comparison item, or both considerably.
As for measuring the tangent, you don't - you measure the angle from the point on the ground to the top of the flagpole using either a simple protractor or, preferably, a Clinometer, and then you calculate the tangent using that angle and the distance measured. Any slope can be easily and accurately accounted for.
Of course, a really-really good engineer would have an Abney level or Scale Hypsometer in his kit or, if he was really clever, would employ a surveyor to do it for him.
There are many ways to solve a problem. At one end is the McGuyver way, at the other end is the Rube Goldberg way, and all other methods fall somewhere in between.
A good engineer would choose the most appropriate method based on expediency, required level of accuracy, available equipment, budget, etc. FWIW, I'm a believer in the KISS principle.
As for your observation in respect of sloping ground, if the gradient of the surrounding earth were reasonably constant, then there would be no need to bother with tangents and protractors.
For example, if your wife is 1.6m tall and she casts a 40cm shadow, then she is 4 times taller than her shadow is long. That is, the ratio of height to length is 4:1.
If a flagpole casts a 2m shadow under the same conditions, then its height will be 8m (= 4 x 2m).
If the gradient is not constant, then all you would need to determine would the height differential between the base of the flagpole and the end of its shadow. Do the same for the reference object and then factor this difference into the calculation.
No guessing involved.
dorian said
10:50 AM Mar 22, 2014
The Phantom wrote:
And all of the above explains why the majority of engineers who worked for me were off with the fairies. The KISS Principle was never evident.
A former employer reckoned that electrical engineers couldn't measure a short in an iron bar, but he hired me anyway.
Contrary to what might be expected, what I found in my career was that access to proper tools and documentation was often detrimental to one's development. That's because all the thinking was already done for you. When I embarked on my own business, and access to those same tools and information was no longer available, I quickly learned to improvise and think outside the box. For example, how often have we seen TV programs where civil engineers have been given the same technical challenges that were faced by pyramid builders, and failed? The reason is that they've never had to resort to first principles.
Mr B2 said
11:35 AM Mar 22, 2014
The Phantom wrote:
And all of the above explains why the majority of engineers who worked for me were off with the fairies. The KISS Principle was never evident.
The Phantom
Thats about it in a nut shell, Why make some thing very simple, so complicated,
My Theory teacher when I was an Apprentice literaly hated me,
Not only did I say the book he was teaching me from was wrong, I could back it up with proof and hard facts the the book was wrong,
He was a Theory teacher, Practical was an entirely different story, Hahahahaha
rockylizard said
01:17 PM Mar 22, 2014
Gday...
Well NeilandRaine - I bet you never would have ever imagined that your light-headed post would have evolved and developed the way it has
Lucky it is in I Digress
Cheers - John
johnq said
04:03 PM Mar 22, 2014
dorian wrote:
johnq wrote:
Next, measuring width of a river without sending the missus with string tied to her.
You could measure the depth, too.
johnq wrote:
Need her to make meals.
I could learn to cook.
I have brother who is a civil engineer.
To be serious, engineers are majorly responsible for the good health and great lifestyle we enjoy. Special thanks to all engineers.
bill12 said
05:19 PM Mar 22, 2014
Naw! lets just blow it up- its more fun.........Bill
Vic41 said
06:41 PM Mar 22, 2014
bill12 wrote:
Naw! lets just blow it up- its more fun.........Bill
As an ex Sapper (Ginger Beer) I'll go along with that, won't call myself a Gunny though, that's more like for the "dropshorts" aka Artillery.
NeilandRaine said
07:39 PM Mar 22, 2014
rockylizard wrote:
Gday...
Well NeilandRaine - I bet you never would have ever imagined that your light-headed post would have evolved and developed the way it has
Lucky it is in I Digress
Cheers - John
Your dead right, it was only meant for a laugh, sorry if anyone is offended. I am ex RAAF so I am used to having the P one double ess taken.
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvin...gly and said, "Good choice:
The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer,the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said,"Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George,What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,so we always let them play for free anytime!."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said,
"That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No,it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke,
it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me,I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend,
but a talking frog - now that's cool."
Understanding Engineers #9
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently members of political parties
-- Edited by NeilandRaine on Friday 21st of March 2014 05:55:08 PM
A real engineer would have measured the length of the flagpole's shadow, compared it against the shadow cast by an object of known height, and then used ratios to arrive at the answer. But I'm an engineer, so I have no sense of humour.
Gday...
cheers - John
No...A real engineer would have measured out a set distance on the ground from the flagpole and then calculated the tangent of the angle from that point to the top of the pole. No guessing and very accurate.
Engineers do have to have a sense of humour. Especially on a cloudy day.
Walk up to the flagpole and put a marker at your height. Step back, look and multiply. A real engineer would send the spouse to stand next to the flagpole. Hey, saves walking.
Next, measuring width of a river without sending the missus with string tied to her. Need her to make meals.
There is no guessing involved. In fact I used exactly the same method at school.
As for your method, how would you go about measuring the tangent?
You could measure the depth, too.
I could learn to cook.
Of course there's guessing involved, any slight slope on the ground will change the shadow length of either the pole, the comparison item, or both considerably.
As for measuring the tangent, you don't - you measure the angle from the point on the ground to the top of the flagpole using either a simple protractor or, preferably, a Clinometer, and then you calculate the tangent using that angle and the distance measured. Any slope can be easily and accurately accounted for.
Of course, a really-really good engineer would have an Abney level or Scale Hypsometer in his kit or, if he was really clever, would employ a surveyor to do it for him.
And all of the above explains why the majority of engineers who worked for me were off with the fairies. The KISS Principle was never evident.
The Phantom
There are many ways to solve a problem. At one end is the McGuyver way, at the other end is the Rube Goldberg way, and all other methods fall somewhere in between.
A good engineer would choose the most appropriate method based on expediency, required level of accuracy, available equipment, budget, etc. FWIW, I'm a believer in the KISS principle.
As for your observation in respect of sloping ground, if the gradient of the surrounding earth were reasonably constant, then there would be no need to bother with tangents and protractors.
For example, if your wife is 1.6m tall and she casts a 40cm shadow, then she is 4 times taller than her shadow is long. That is, the ratio of height to length is 4:1.
If a flagpole casts a 2m shadow under the same conditions, then its height will be 8m (= 4 x 2m).
If the gradient is not constant, then all you would need to determine would the height differential between the base of the flagpole and the end of its shadow. Do the same for the reference object and then factor this difference into the calculation.
No guessing involved.
A former employer reckoned that electrical engineers couldn't measure a short in an iron bar, but he hired me anyway.
Contrary to what might be expected, what I found in my career was that access to proper tools and documentation was often detrimental to one's development. That's because all the thinking was already done for you. When I embarked on my own business, and access to those same tools and information was no longer available, I quickly learned to improvise and think outside the box. For example, how often have we seen TV programs where civil engineers have been given the same technical challenges that were faced by pyramid builders, and failed? The reason is that they've never had to resort to first principles.
Thats about it in a nut shell, Why make some thing very simple, so complicated,
My Theory teacher when I was an Apprentice literaly hated me,
Not only did I say the book he was teaching me from was wrong, I could back it up with proof and hard facts the the book was wrong,
He was a Theory teacher, Practical was an entirely different story, Hahahahaha
Gday...
Well NeilandRaine - I bet you never would have ever imagined that your light-headed post would have evolved and developed the way it has
Lucky it is in I Digress
Cheers - John
To be serious, engineers are majorly responsible for the good health and great lifestyle we enjoy. Special thanks to all engineers.
As an ex Sapper (Ginger Beer) I'll go along with that, won't call myself a Gunny though, that's more like for the "dropshorts" aka Artillery.
Your dead right, it was only meant for a laugh, sorry if anyone is offended. I am ex RAAF so I am used to having the P one double ess taken.