Yesterday I was at my local COLES store buying a large bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Pedigree Diet again. I added that I probably shouldnt, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 20 Kg. before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her, No, I stepped off the kerb to sniff a Dobermans ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Coles. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
dazren said
01:05 PM Feb 19, 2014
I ''HATE'' supermarket shopping, but I read a story once, and thought good idea ?? Next time the Mrs made me go with her, ?? [ she does not let me pick up all New things to try ] So to fill in the time I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY THAT LITTLE TRICK I READ ??
What you do is Go to the area where they sell The ''Condoms'' pick up a Couple of packets, the More Erotic, ribbed, or Coloured, ones are best
Then look for a Middle Aged, Well Dressed Woman, !! and when she is Not Looking, ? Drop them ''Discreetly'' ? Into her Shopping Trolley ??
THEN ?? you just keep your eye on her, ! until she goes through the Checkout,, Then the Laugh comes as She tries explaining to the operator, in front of Customers ?? That They are Not Hers, ?? She did Not put them in there, ?? And Would never dream of purchasing such items ?? I have tried it twice now, ?? first time was a ''Fizzer' ?? The Lady Just said, Sorry love don't know how they got there, ?? I am way past that sort of thing ?/
But the second time was Loads of Laughs, for the customers in line, And for me, hovering in the background ..
the rocket said
03:58 PM Feb 19, 2014
Hi, Strop appreciated that.
_wombat_ said
05:27 PM Feb 19, 2014
dazren, what is a condom?
Dougwe said
05:52 PM Feb 19, 2014
I think it should say Condo. A Condo is like a small house bigW.
Noo !! Wombat, The Condo is bigger than that !! the A-Van is more like an ''Outhouse''
-- Edited by dazren on Wednesday 19th of February 2014 08:17:03 PM
oh, like a chook house
Pete49 said
11:27 PM Feb 19, 2014
I can relate to that as well here's how my trip to the IGA Store went There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer! Pete
Dougwe said
08:43 AM Feb 20, 2014
A dog house is more accurate wombat and dazren.
There you go "Mongrel" now you know what to get to travel in.......A Avan. ^
_wombat_ said
10:35 AM Feb 20, 2014
Dougwe wrote:
A dog house is more accurate wombat and dazren.
There you go "Mongrel" now you know what to get to travel in.......A Avan. ^
If you can travel with 3 people then it will be big enough for mongrel
dazren said
10:44 AM Feb 20, 2014
WOMBAT WROTE, ---
If you can travel with 3 people then it will be big enough for mongrel
Wrong Womby !! The A-Van is NOT big enough for 3 People ?? The have to sleep '' stacks-on-the-Mill Style, and the Nyphs ! Hate it when it is Dougwe's turn to be on Top ??
_wombat_ said
10:51 AM Feb 20, 2014
dazren wrote:
WOMBAT WROTE, ---
If you can travel with 3 people then it will be big enough for mongrel
Wrong Womby !! The A-Van is NOT big enough for 3 People ?? The have to sleep '' stacks-on-the-Mill Style, and the Nyphs ! Hate it when it is Dougwe's turn to be on Top ??
Im banned. Didn't like shopping there anyway.
Yesterday I was at my local COLES store buying a large
bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was
in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Pedigree Diet again. I added that I probably shouldnt,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 20 Kg. before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her, No, I stepped off the kerb to sniff a
Dobermans ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Coles. Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
I ''HATE'' supermarket shopping, but I read a story once, and thought good idea ?? Next time the Mrs made me go with her, ?? [ she does not let me pick up all New things to try ] So to fill in the time I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY THAT LITTLE TRICK I READ ??
What you do is Go to the area where they sell The ''Condoms'' pick up a Couple of packets, the More Erotic, ribbed, or Coloured, ones are best
Then look for a Middle Aged, Well Dressed Woman, !! and when she is Not Looking, ? Drop them ''Discreetly'' ? Into her Shopping Trolley ??
THEN ?? you just keep your eye on her, ! until she goes through the Checkout,, Then the Laugh comes as She tries explaining to the operator, in front of Customers ?? That They are Not Hers, ?? She did Not put them in there, ?? And Would never dream of purchasing such items ?? I have tried it twice now, ?? first time was a ''Fizzer' ??
The Lady Just said, Sorry love don't know how they got there, ?? I am way past that sort of thing ?/
But the second time was Loads of Laughs, for the customers in line, And for me, hovering in the background ..
Hi, Strop appreciated that.
dazren, what is a condom?
Don't wombats use condoms?? hahaha
Wombat wrote, ----
dazren, what is a condom?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Condom is something that your Mother, wished your Father had used, ????
Then there would be no little Wombats !!
dazren, now see what you started
Big Gorilla wrote --- Then there would be no little Wombats !!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yep !!!
that's right, 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wombat wrote --- dazren, now see what you started
-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I did not Start ANYTHING ?? it was Your Mother who started it ?? By letting Your Father Do It ?? WITHOUT a Condom ??
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dougwe wrote --- [ in part ] I think it should say Condo.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dougwe WHAT IS ?? a Condo ?/ ---- It sounds like ?? 1 sixth of a Condom
do you mean like an Avan?
Wombat wrote
do you mean like an Avan?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Noo !! Wombat, The Condo is bigger than that !! the A-Van is more like an ''Outhouse''
-- Edited by dazren on Wednesday 19th of February 2014 08:17:03 PM
oh, like a chook house
I can relate to that as well here's how my trip to the IGA Store went
There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!
Pete
There you go "Mongrel" now you know what to get to travel in.......A Avan. ^
If you can travel with 3 people then it will be big enough for mongrel
WOMBAT WROTE, ---
If you can travel with 3 people then it will be big enough for mongrel
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wrong Womby !! The A-Van is NOT big enough for 3 People ?? The have to sleep '' stacks-on-the-Mill Style, and the Nyphs ! Hate it when it is Dougwe's turn to be on Top ??
now I feel sorry for the twins, I have met Dougwe