I managed a couple days away last week , to a nice retreat up near Bowral (near Mittagong ) in
nsw , was the first trip I have done with out my dad.. We had been on so many many awesome trips over the
years and I must say the first night on my own I cried my eyes out. Was just so difficult being there with out my dad.
Second night was a bit easier but not by much.
If you have always traveled with some one , then all of a sudden on your own , how do you do it?
How do you pluck up the courage to travel again ?
I had talked alot about a camper van before dad, but now after dad I'm not so sure.
wonder if renting one a few times would help me out, or not??
just seems so different now .. that constant companion you always had...
Not sure I'm ready yet...
GaryKelly said
08:35 AM Feb 14, 2014
You spent many years getting used to having your dad around. There's no way you're gonna get used to not having him around in a hurry. It doesn't work that way. But you have to remember that many (if not most) of the GNs here are travelling without their parents... some without their spouse. The alternative would be to shut themselves away in a room and feel miserable. Is that what your dad would have wanted? There's nothing wrong with missing your dad's company. There's also nothing wrong with telling him so while you're camping or travelling.
Give it time, Milo, and for heaven's sake don't feel guilty about enjoying life without your dad. It's not like we all die on the same day ya know. What are the survivors supposed to do?
mongrel said
08:51 AM Feb 14, 2014
Well said Garry
shekon said
08:58 AM Feb 14, 2014
Hi Milo, good on you for going out for the first time. It is still very early days since your Dad passed, it takes time as Gary said. It will take as long as it takes for you.
I have to agree with Gary also about talking to your Dad while you are camping or going about your daily life. It has one feeling still connected. There will be good days and that is OK, no need to feel guilty, however you do in the early days, and there will be bad days when moving outside the front door will seem all too much, once again perfectly normal.
Your grieving process will take time and you will do it in your own time and in your own way. Just be gentle with your self and allow the feelings to surface when they need to.
I read something the other day which really struck a chord with me. It went something like this,
"Sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks."
jules47 said
09:02 AM Feb 14, 2014
Milo - your dad would want you to live your life the best way you can - think of him when you are at a place you know he would like - and maybe, just maybe, might be time to get another dog to travel with? Apart from company for you, it is usually a good way to meet people, out walking or even just sitting in camp. Just a thought. Take care of yourself. And it is ok to cry over the loss of your dad, healthy in fact.
As to hiring a motorhome - why don't you try and do a 'get together" somewhere - Wuruma Dam in Qld is coming up?
_wombat_ said
09:47 AM Feb 14, 2014
GaryKelly wrote:
You spent many years getting used to having your dad around. There's no way you're gonna get used to not having him around in a hurry. It doesn't work that way. But you have to remember that many (if not most) of the GNs here are travelling without their parents... some without their spouse. The alternative would be to shut themselves away in a room and feel miserable. Is that what your dad would have wanted? There's nothing wrong with missing your dad's company. There's also nothing wrong with telling him so while you're camping or travelling.
Give it time, Milo, and for heaven's sake don't feel guilty about enjoying life without your dad. It's not like we all die on the same day ya know. What are the survivors supposed to do?
Very well said Gary.
Give yourself time milo, and later you do need to hire and try out better than paying for something you may not use often, however I am sure you will enjoy life on the road and think of Dad often, its normal to do that. take care mate.
jetj said
04:41 PM Feb 14, 2014
milo wrote:
G'day all
I managed a couple days away last week , to a nice retreat up near Bowral (near Mittagong ) in
nsw , was the first trip I have done with out my dad.. We had been on so many many awesome trips over the
years and I must say the first night on my own I cried my eyes out. Was just so difficult being there with out my dad.
Second night was a bit easier but not by much.
If you have always traveled with some one , then all of a sudden on your own , how do you do it?
How do you pluck up the courage to travel again ?
I had talked alot about a camper van before dad, but now after dad I'm not so sure.
wonder if renting one a few times would help me out, or not??
just seems so different now .. that constant companion you always had...
Not sure I'm ready yet...
Milo,
I think I know how you feel. You want to get out there but it's hard to leave home by yourself with no particular place to be. You need to work out whether you're committed enough to overcome the mental blocks. I think it is relatively common. Take your time and a little at a time until you feel comfortable. It is worth it.
Missing your Dad is expected and will take some time.
Gunny said
05:26 PM Feb 14, 2014
G'day Milo,
I lost my wife to cancer 6 years ago after 37 years of marriage. I first took her out when she was 15 and we were married in our early 20's.
I think I know how you feel. It doesn't get any better as far as feelings go but we who are left must get on with enjoying ourselves. It takes time to come to a decision on what to do without a lost loved one. Some will take longer than others.
If it means anything, I have enjoyed travelling around the best backyard in the world, meeting lovely people and seeing incredible sights.
This tends to take your mind off things but having said that I still miss my wife terribly,
It is best for your sake to keep your body and mind busy with travelling, hobbies etc which tend to take your mind off the loss.
I hope this helps.
Gunny
barina said
07:19 PM Feb 14, 2014
Well done Milo and Gunny life is for the living. You will always have your precious memories and your loved ones would like to know you are happy and living a good life.
Keep enjoying life.
Vic41 said
07:20 PM Feb 14, 2014
GaryKelly wrote:
You spent many years getting used to having your dad around. There's no way you're gonna get used to not having him around in a hurry. It doesn't work that way. But you have to remember that many (if not most) of the GNs here are travelling without their parents... some without their spouse. The alternative would be to shut themselves away in a room and feel miserable. Is that what your dad would have wanted? There's nothing wrong with missing your dad's company. There's also nothing wrong with telling him so while you're camping or travelling.
Give it time, Milo, and for heaven's sake don't feel guilty about enjoying life without your dad. It's not like we all die on the same day ya know. What are the survivors supposed to do?
Wise words Gary, hang in there Milo and keep chipping away with small trips, it will get easier as time goes by. Lots of GN's behind you here and sooner or later you will run into some on the road....
_wombat_ said
07:41 PM Feb 14, 2014
Vic41 wrote:
GaryKelly wrote:
You spent many years getting used to having your dad around. There's no way you're gonna get used to not having him around in a hurry. It doesn't work that way. But you have to remember that many (if not most) of the GNs here are travelling without their parents... some without their spouse. The alternative would be to shut themselves away in a room and feel miserable. Is that what your dad would have wanted? There's nothing wrong with missing your dad's company. There's also nothing wrong with telling him so while you're camping or travelling.
Give it time, Milo, and for heaven's sake don't feel guilty about enjoying life without your dad. It's not like we all die on the same day ya know. What are the survivors supposed to do?
Wise words Gary, hang in there Milo and keep chipping away with small trips, it will get easier as time goes by. Lots of GN's behind you here and sooner or later you will run into some on the road....
he will not run into me cos he's my mate
Nelly said
10:37 AM Feb 15, 2014
Give yourself time Milo - have to agree with all the other posts - there will always be the wonderful memories that you have of your Dad and I am sure he would rather you get out there and see it all - he will always be with you that's for sure.
isuzuswag said
05:30 AM Mar 7, 2014
Funny you should say that Milo.... I have attempted to start my own journey many times and always raced home with pangs of guilt... My wife does not want to travel, hates it when I go away and I am desperate to go... It has caused some serious issues but not made it go away.
I am about to go again, this time with more determination and more confidence.
The dog lady said
08:28 PM Mar 7, 2014
If it's what you want to do you'll get there Milo, just give yourself time as everyone else has said. I'm fortunate to still have my mum come travelling with me for some of the time, and it's always hard to adjust to being on my own again after I drop her off at the airport. But she's in her 80's and still a carer for her disabled brother, so I am just grateful for my freedom and her company when I can get it. In time you'll just be glad you had that time with him and the pain of loss will settle to a dull ache that you can live with. I'm sure he'd want you to enjoy life, so think of that and go for it.
G'day all
I managed a couple days away last week , to a nice retreat up near Bowral (near Mittagong ) in
nsw , was the first trip I have done with out my dad.. We had been on so many many awesome trips over the
years and I must say the first night on my own I cried my eyes out. Was just so difficult being there with out my dad.
Second night was a bit easier but not by much.
If you have always traveled with some one , then all of a sudden on your own , how do you do it?
How do you pluck up the courage to travel again ?
I had talked alot about a camper van before dad, but now after dad I'm not so sure.
wonder if renting one a few times would help me out, or not??
just seems so different now .. that constant companion you always had...
Not sure I'm ready yet...
Give it time, Milo, and for heaven's sake don't feel guilty about enjoying life without your dad. It's not like we all die on the same day ya know. What are the survivors supposed to do?
I have to agree with Gary also about talking to your Dad while you are camping or going about your daily life. It has one feeling still connected. There will be good days and that is OK, no need to feel guilty, however you do in the early days, and there will be bad days when moving outside the front door will seem all too much, once again perfectly normal.
Your grieving process will take time and you will do it in your own time and in your own way. Just be gentle with your self and allow the feelings to surface when they need to.
I read something the other day which really struck a chord with me. It went something like this,
"Sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks."
As to hiring a motorhome - why don't you try and do a 'get together" somewhere - Wuruma Dam in Qld is coming up?
Very well said Gary.
Give yourself time milo, and later you do need to hire and try out better than paying for something you may not use often, however I am sure you will enjoy life on the road and think of Dad often, its normal to do that. take care mate.
Milo,
I think I know how you feel. You want to get out there but it's hard to leave home by yourself with no particular place to be. You need to work out whether you're committed enough to overcome the mental blocks. I think it is relatively common. Take your time and a little at a time until you feel comfortable. It is worth it.
Missing your Dad is expected and will take some time.
G'day Milo,
I lost my wife to cancer 6 years ago after 37 years of marriage. I first took her out when she was 15 and we were married in our early 20's.
I think I know how you feel. It doesn't get any better as far as feelings go but we who are left must get on with enjoying ourselves. It takes time to come to a decision on what to do without a lost loved one. Some will take longer than others.
If it means anything, I have enjoyed travelling around the best backyard in the world, meeting lovely people and seeing incredible sights.
This tends to take your mind off things but having said that I still miss my wife terribly,
It is best for your sake to keep your body and mind busy with travelling, hobbies etc which tend to take your mind off the loss.
I hope this helps.
Gunny
Well done Milo and Gunny life is for the living. You will always have your precious memories and your loved ones would like to know you are happy and living a good life.
Keep enjoying life.
Wise words Gary, hang in there Milo and keep chipping away with small trips, it will get easier as time goes by. Lots of GN's behind you here and sooner or later you will run into some on the road....
he will not run into me cos he's my mate
I am about to go again, this time with more determination and more confidence.
If it's what you want to do you'll get there Milo, just give yourself time as everyone else has said. I'm fortunate to still have my mum come travelling with me for some of the time, and it's always hard to adjust to being on my own again after I drop her off at the airport. But she's in her 80's and still a carer for her disabled brother, so I am just grateful for my freedom and her company when I can get it. In time you'll just be glad you had that time with him and the pain of loss will settle to a dull ache that you can live with. I'm sure he'd want you to enjoy life, so think of that and go for it.