Checking out different types of funerals, am thinking simple body pick up, cremation, no service of any kind, pick up ashes and that's it. Get together somewhere for a few drinks and scattering of ashes at favourite place etc.
Has anyone done this or had friends etc do something similar?
You can do what I have suggested cheaper by NOK filling in permission to cremate and a couple of other forms, but I would not want anyone to have to do that, so looking at having that done by a funeral director, but as per my first paragraph.
Looking at the cemetery board site for WA, they will not cremate a body (ie; allow it on site) without it being in a coffin, so lets say cheapest (cardboard?) coffin.....
Any feedback appreciated, apologies if my thread upsets anyone, just need to know for planning purposes.....
-- Edited by Duh on Saturday 8th of June 2013 05:44:02 PM
Gerty Dancer said
07:45 PM Jun 8, 2013
My mother had "just a burial", no eulogy, nobody there, at my fathers request. He wasn't there either. My brother and I were absolutely shattered and angry, it was like pretending she had never lived. All of you who say you don't want any service or funeral, you wont be there, so allow people who loved you enough to turn up to remember you after your death, to have some sort of service or wake. Its very comforting to share that time with others who knew and loved/liked your dearly departed relative. I don't mind what happens after /I die, hope my partner would be ok, and our family and friends support him. This is easier done with a memorial/funeral/crematory service of some sort but it doesn't have to be formal.
PS. As I understand it, if you choose a cardboard coffin, you have to be buried, as theres not enough mass to cremate a body properly.
-- Edited by Gerty Dancer on Saturday 8th of June 2013 08:51:17 PM
Grams said
08:52 PM Jun 8, 2013
We had our baby son cremated, he sits on a special shelf in his beautiful box a lady made for me. He is surrounded by baby pictures of his brother and 3 sisters.
Les and I just want to be cremated, no frills, nothing. If anyone wants to hold a service or memorial that's fine.
edited to add, those Funeral plans are a rip off. You end up paying more than your funeral will cost with those. You are better going into a funeral home and having your request made out and you can pay it off to the funeral home, with no interest and no paying out forever.
-- Edited by Grams on Saturday 8th of June 2013 08:55:31 PM
Duh said
09:52 PM Jun 8, 2013
Two poems on the subject that are very meaningful;
Funeral Blues by W H Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'. Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good. ........................................................................... The Clock Of Life
"The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power To tell just when the hands will stop At late or early hour.
To lose one's wealth is sad indeed. Too lose one's health is more. To lose one's soul is such a loss That no man can restore."
Today, only is our own. So live, love and toil with a will. Place no faith in tomorrow, For the clock may soon be still.
By Robert H Smith ................................
-- Edited by Duh on Saturday 8th of June 2013 09:54:07 PM
dorian said
01:14 AM Jun 9, 2013
I've asked my brother to bury me in the family plot. I want to be buried in the clothes that I die in. I don't want any ceremony, no eulogy, no friends or relatives in attendance, and I want to be buried in a cardboard box. And since my brother's name is Stan, and since it's going to be a plain funeral/burial, then who else should I ask to handle it other than http://stancrappfunerals.com.au.
And as they lower me into the ground, face down, backside aimed at the world above, I want my brother to say that "he was a down-to-earth kinda guy".
sufil said
01:20 AM Jun 9, 2013
We just went thru this with a family friend. He passed away on a Saturday afternoon, Sunday hospital rang to say he had to be moved from morgue today. Picked up by undertaker, ($300 extra cos it was Sunday!!). He was cremated with no service, the family picked up his ashes a few days later. His ashes were scattered at their favourite camping area on the beach. All up it cost just a tad over $5000. There were charges for death certificate, undertaker, coffin, crematorium, urn. I can probably get you all the exact figures if you wish. (This was here in Perth northern suburbs). We are doing the same planning for the future too. And our kids have already been told this is what we want to happen.
neilnruth said
01:36 AM Jun 9, 2013
We just went to a funeral yesterday. It was actually a memorial service. Lady had died interstate. Her daughter organised her cremation in that state and brought her ashes to NSW the next week. After the Memorial service the family went and scattered her ashes in the nearby lake where her partner had been a fisherman. Yes, you can get a cardboard coffin. Don't go for an eco coffin though unless you want to pay more. Sometimes you have to wait longer than this family did for the ashes though. Our eldest is a funeral director and he doesn't say " Have you got enough for a retirement home?" He says, make sure you have enough to pay for your funeral. He suggests funeral bonds are better than pre-paid or plans. There is usually not enough money to pay for the funerals with the latter if you live long. Oh and PS. No, we probably don't have enough for our funeral - it will have to come out of the estate or their pockets. Hehe.
tonyd said
01:52 AM Jun 9, 2013
Interesting topic, Vic and I shall follow replies with great interest. I went into this a few years back and found that cardboard coffins were not much cheaper than the wooden ones. Seemed odd.
The cost of funerals is a scandal. I recall when my Mum died the funeral director trying to sell me some outrageously overpriced polished wood coffin on the basis of "only the best for Mother . . .", obviously trying to take advantage of my emotional state. He failed.
Cheers, Tony
GaryKelly said
01:58 AM Jun 9, 2013
I've never liked funerals. The guest of honor is never there anyway. Just a box with what's left. So I don't want one. However, I was surprised to read sufil's comment about her friend's costing $5000. I don't have that kinda loot, nor do I have an estate, so maybe I can leave what's left to science and have them dispose of it when they're done poking around. I don't care where the ashes go either. It's all the same planet. And I won't be here. Well, not me personally - just my ramblings if anyone cares to read them.
Back in 2001, my friend was cremated. He was a keen surfer so his folks scattered his ashes at his local beach. Now whenever I'm at a beach - any beach, no matter where it is - I feel a special attachment. Sure beats the hell out of a headstone.
Poppy sore eye said
02:00 AM Jun 9, 2013
neilnruth wrote:
We just went to a funeral yesterday. It was actually a memorial service. Lady had died interstate. Her daughter organised her cremation in that state and brought her ashes to NSW the next week. After the Memorial service the family went and scattered her ashes in the nearby lake where her partner had been a fisherman. Yes, you can get a cardboard coffin. Don't go for an eco coffin though unless you want to pay more. Sometimes you have to wait longer than this family did for the ashes though. Our eldest is a funeral director and he doesn't say " Have you got enough for a retirement home?" He says, make sure you have enough to pay for your funeral. He suggests funeral bonds are better than pre-paid or plans. There is usually not enough money to pay for the funerals with the latter if you live long. Oh and PS. No, we probably don't have enough for our funeral - it will have to come out of the estate or their pockets. Hehe.
Hi, something we all must face, I maybe naive but I have never heard of funeral bonds, could you ask your eldest for an explanation and details, thanks.
Hazel was saying only yesterday that we must organise this before we go (start the trip), .
shekon said
02:18 AM Jun 9, 2013
What am excellent topic Duh, it is something that we all have to face and will be our final hurrah. Death is a fact of life. Amazing the cost and of course it is at ones most vulnerable state. My boys know what I want and do not want and they have been threatened with haunting a if they do not adhere. Nothing fancy and certainly no cup of tea and bikkies after. Down to the pub for a good drink and party. I think this a subject that not enough talk about while they are still of sound mind and body. My advise please do it before it is too late. My late husband would not talk about what he wanted ever, finally spoke about things 4 weeks before he passed of cancer and by then we were dealing with other things and while I appreciated the conversation and finally his wishes it was more upsetting than if it had been spoken about in previous years. I have had my plans in place for years so he would have known had the tables been reversed. Thanks again Duh for being brave enough to post the subject topic.
Dougwe said
03:20 AM Jun 9, 2013
Mmmmm, not a subject I personally liked to talk about prior to six years ago however, after loosing my Dad, Son, Step Son, two very close friends and my Wife in the last six years and no discussions at all, my two daughters now know exactly what I want and it's simple, no big deal. If I can be put in a cheap pine box, cremated with no service, no food, nothing. Scatter my ashes somewhere along the Murray River. I have also set up a Funeral Plan to cover or at least help with that side of things.
What would be good though is, get a wooden raft, pile it up with sticks etc, put my body on top, set fire to the lot then set me adrift on Greens Lake, Victoria. Something tells me though that can't happen.
Rip and Rosie said
03:47 AM Jun 9, 2013
Agree with you Gertie- its not about you, the dead person. Its about your family, and it should be what they need.
I would never ever again scatter some one's ashes! He asked for that, and no memorial, but we needed more than that.
2foot6 said
03:57 AM Jun 9, 2013
Doug,it would probably rain that day,even at Greens Lake Still cold down south.cheers Peter
neilnruth said
04:09 AM Jun 9, 2013
Gary - you can be donated to science - but they might be hard pushed to find a university who will take you. At some unis it is an 8 year wait to get the ashes back. It's become a popular way to deal with the cost of death - it costs nothing.
Yes, a cheap pine box could be cheaper than cardboard.
A funeral assistant told me recently they had a home made coffin brought in - trouble was, the person hadn't made it of light weight timber and it weighed 'a ton' to move around.
Poppy sore eye - yes, I'll find out about funeral bonds for you. I've been told but haven't remembered.
Gerty - I agree. Even if the person is cremated, there needs to be something for family and friends (such as the memorial service) - one of our rellies refused to allow anyone but immediate family to their funerals. This deprived friends and other family of the opportunity to grieve. Children should also be taken to funerals. My husband believes that if we all gather to celebrate when a baby is born, we should all gather to say goodbye when someone dies. They are both natural parts of life (and death).
A plaque in a memorial garden is the simplest form of tangible reminder of someone who has died. It gives those left behind a place to go to honour the person. It also means there is no maintenance and therefore no guilt at not maintaining a burial site.
Tonyd there was a takeover by American funeral companies at one stage and the 'caskets' were pushed and the top end of the funeral 'stuff' was pushed. Now some of those companies have been bought back by Australian ones. Always look for an Australian owned company or even better a family owned company.
Sorry, the funeral business is often a topic in our family with one of our boys having worked in it for many years. He was recently phoned by a local ABC radio host to ask about the songs people choose for funerals. Now that was an interesting topic - she went on for ages, asking many questions. He did point out that funerals are now more of a celebration of life than a mournful occasion. Here endeth the third lesson.
Duh said
05:08 AM Jun 9, 2013
Thank you all so much for your feedback on this very delicate subject, my ex wife died recently and I went to a cousin's funeral a week ago, got me thinking about my own mortality and medical condition, and what I would want if the inevitable happened.
I saw on a cemetery Q & A site that a prepaid funeral cost more (I know costs can rise over time, but they have your money earning interest in the meantime haven't they ????) and that only pays for the cremation costs and there may still additional costs added by the funeral directors even though prepaid, see the FAQ's here;
A friend of mine donated his body to science a few years ago, but his family still had a non religious service at a funeral directors without his body or ashes, had photos of him displayed and family and friends including the children spoke at the service, it was all very nice even though no body or ashes present. I was also given the honour of speaking about him too.
I am still thinking about what I want, I do have a favourite place by the Swan river I would like to have my ashes sprinkled off a gazebo over the river without broadcasting the fact a family member would be doing it. I am also wrestling with what I should plan for family and friends and am discussing this with family members at the moment. I do see the need for them to have a get together of some sort to allow those who wish to attend the opportunity to say goodbye if they wish, still working on that one though, I don't care for myself but that may be a selfish approach for others that care.
tonyd said
06:50 AM Jun 9, 2013
Spooky place, the internet. Came across this site by accident. They'll give you a quote by SMS!
It's just a marketing ploy Tony, they want you to select them to do your funeral.....
billeeeeeee said
10:06 AM Jun 9, 2013
RE: Cheapest Way To Have A Funeral ???? No 1, don't die,, No 2 Will we care,???? No 3 Jump into a pig pen , nothing will be left,,,,, May I stop here and say this ,, Us Baby boomers, its the best time of our life,, Why,!!??? No,1 We have no Peers, No 2 , kids are off our hands, No 3 its OUR time now .........and here we are , worrying about Dying, funerals,,, get excited about living , the rest will take care of itself,,,,, PS, Have told my kids, if you don't here from us , for 6 months , and you read in the News paper , Motor home discovered with two skeletions inside, one with a pipe in his mouth , Its Us,!!!! don't bother claiming us,,,hehehehe true ,,,,,,,, stay excited Nomads,,,,,, Billeeeeeeeee
-- Edited by billeeeeeee on Sunday 9th of June 2013 10:07:18 AM
The clue is to get a small local funeral director. I said I did not want any service at all. Just pick up, no box, no service, no frills cremation and he puts the ashes around some plants (or wherever).
Anyhow, at the time a local funeral director said $700, no frills as stated. He couldn't quote for any distance arrangements. In that case the next of kin should find a small local like him and definitely not one of the biggies in town. Be firm about no frills, he said. Send ashes back if wanted, not a body.
I prefer that family have a private get together at home at some time after as they wish and organise themselves. Nothing to do with the funeral director.
A bigger problem is wording something so that I am not kept going after a severe stroke or a condition that compromises any reasonable quality of life. I cannot imagine anything worse than being kept alive if totally paralysed for example. My view on that has been consistent for many years. Someone must some usable wording or draft somewhere for Qld to avoid seeng that rogue of a lawyer again. [With apologies to any lawyers reading].
Duh said
11:41 AM Jun 9, 2013
Gerty Dancer wrote:
As you said Jules, live for today. But I live more peacefully in myself having made a will, signed enduring power of attorney documents, and made a sort of funeral plan with money set aside.... Really its all about having regard for the family you will be leaving behind.
Now that's done, I don't have to worry any more, can forget about it and play.
I agree Gerty, all very fine not "worrying" if that is the word to describe it, I call it planning like you have done to avoid leaving the problem and expense to others once you have gone, then forget about it an play.
My OP is to get ideas on what can be done with the planning and also how to keep my disposal within budget so I don't leave financial and other problems for others, no good blithely carrying on with life and leaving problems for others when you cark it.
Thanks for the feedback all and I agree with shekon about organ donation and making your wishes known, see;
http://www.donatelife.gov.au/ (one of my organs is already missing (live kidney donor) they can have the rest when i'm gone ).
-- Edited by Duh on Sunday 9th of June 2013 11:41:44 AM
pubertyblues said
12:01 PM Jun 9, 2013
Interesting that people do not wish to discuss this subject. When we took off we left all our POA's and bank details and Wills with our daughter. I have my personal funeral arrangements in my documents in my computer. A private cremation, ashes in a shoe box, kids out to dinner hopefully saying nice things about Mum and for them to place my ashes under a beautiful big gum tree which they will find and know I would love. We lost our Mum and she would not discuss funerals but luckily out of the 12 of us kids I had taken it upon myself to have her do the necessary forms like POA and executors etc. I knew by talking with our Mum that she wanted lots of flowers and a lovely non religious funeral. She had all of that and it was beautiful. I now have a place to go to visit her along with our Dad who's ashes we had placed in with her. My husband however has made no funeral plans. If he goes first he will be getting what I am having as he has said he does not want any fuss just thrown in a creek. Bit hard to do that one really. It is very important to have things in place as we only have this minute and it is too much for families to take on the rest without knowing where things are and what to do.
Yes I have my organ donor card done as well although doubt there will be much to leave
-- Edited by pubertyblues on Sunday 9th of June 2013 12:03:40 PM
shekon said
02:33 PM Jun 9, 2013
John, you will need a medical power of attorney document, that states you do not wish to revived or kept going by machines. I not sure if this can be done without a lawyer, you really do need somebody to act on your behalf as power of attorney for financial and care needs also. I had no idea about the medical POA until my husband became ill and at the time we were given the forms by palliative care. We never got to have them signed off but i had POA for other matters as had been working O/S for a number of years. These documents made life easier for me at the end when medical staff wanted to put him on drips and things, I could say no. This is something we had always talked about anyway. This also brings up another subject so many do not discuss with each other or extended family and that is organ donation. So so important. If there is an accident or a brain death the question will be asked. These subjects are such important ones that just another part of life.
Kaid said
04:37 PM Jun 9, 2013
There is a small family busines her in Brisbane that only does Cremations. When David get Cremated they will play, Great Balls Of Fire. When I get Cremated I want, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
jules47 said
05:22 PM Jun 9, 2013
Ditto, what he said - live for today - best way to enjoy yourself!!!
Gerty Dancer said
06:09 PM Jun 9, 2013
As you said Jules, live for today. But I live more peacefully in myself having made a will, signed enduring power of attorney documents, and made a sort of funeral plan with money set aside.... Really its all about having regard for the family you will be leaving behind.
Now that's done, I don't have to worry any more, can forget about it and play.
mongrel said
07:52 PM Jun 9, 2013
We are like you Cheryl. Have all the necessary paper work done. My daughter ond son are aware of what we want done and in the event of me going before my wife they will take control of every thing leaving us to mourn..Have not started our travels as yet but it is good to know that these arrangements are already organised, as you never know when your number is up...Alan.
neilnruth said
10:59 PM Jun 9, 2013
johnq - There is something called 'An Advanced Health Care Directive' you can fill in which will tell everyone what you want done in case of stroke etc. You fill it in, photocopy and leave copies at your local hospital, doctor, next of kni etc so they all know - and give it to your Enduring Guardian.
Talking about what you want helps too. Unless doctors are told, their Hippocratic oath says they have to keep you alive.
Pejay said
11:01 PM Jun 9, 2013
My Mum & Dad had purchased a double niche for themselves quite some years ago, and after Dad's funeral 4 1/2 yrs ago that worked out really well. The cost of his funeral came out of their monies. With Mum's funeral week before last, it was an expense, even with the most basic of coffins and service, but that's what she wanted. She will have her ashes added to the niche in time.
For me? Well after what we have dealt with of late, I have told hubby I want to have a private cremation, no fuss, no hypocrits, no nothing! And dump my ashes in the passage for the fish and dugongs to feed on. I am S-O over my bl**dy family, they can all go whistle!! Might just drive off into the sunset and let 'em go look for me - never to be found! If that sounds selfish - let's just say, you don't know my lot.
Duh said
04:14 AM Jun 10, 2013
Thanks for sharing this sensitive but important subject folks, it is much appreciated.
I am ringing a funeral place tomorrow to get an idea of what they will charge for the limited services I want.
Another question is, other than pre-paid which I don't want, what is the best way to have your funeral paid for when the time comes?
I believe in WA, banks will release funds for a funeral if they are presented with the bills.
I know with an Aunt of mine, the Public Trustees authorised her bank to pay for the funeral expenses on receipt of the bills from the funeral company, this can happen before probate is processed.
Checking out different types of funerals, am thinking simple body pick up, cremation, no service of any kind, pick up ashes and that's it. Get together somewhere for a few drinks and scattering of ashes at favourite place etc.
Has anyone done this or had friends etc do something similar?
You can do what I have suggested cheaper by NOK filling in permission to cremate and a couple of other forms, but I would not want anyone to have to do that, so looking at having that done by a funeral director, but as per my first paragraph.
Looking at the cemetery board site for WA, they will not cremate a body (ie; allow it on site) without it being in a coffin, so lets say cheapest (cardboard?) coffin.....
Any feedback appreciated, apologies if my thread upsets anyone, just need to know for planning purposes.....
-- Edited by Duh on Saturday 8th of June 2013 05:44:02 PM
My mother had "just a burial", no eulogy, nobody there, at my fathers request. He wasn't there either. My brother and I were absolutely shattered and angry, it was like pretending she had never lived. All of you who say you don't want any service or funeral, you wont be there, so allow people who loved you enough to turn up to remember you after your death, to have some sort of service or wake. Its very comforting to share that time with others who knew and loved/liked your dearly departed relative.
I don't mind what happens after /I die, hope my partner would be ok, and our family and friends support him. This is easier done with a memorial/funeral/crematory service of some sort but it doesn't have to be formal.
PS. As I understand it, if you choose a cardboard coffin, you have to be buried, as theres not enough mass to cremate a body properly.
-- Edited by Gerty Dancer on Saturday 8th of June 2013 08:51:17 PM
We had our baby son cremated, he sits on a special shelf in his beautiful box a lady made for me. He is surrounded by baby pictures of his brother and 3 sisters.
Les and I just want to be cremated, no frills, nothing. If anyone wants to hold a service or memorial that's fine.
edited to add, those Funeral plans are a rip off. You end up paying more than your funeral will cost with those. You are better going into a funeral home and having your request made out and you can pay it off to the funeral home, with no interest and no paying out forever.
-- Edited by Grams on Saturday 8th of June 2013 08:55:31 PM
Two poems on the subject that are very meaningful;
Funeral Blues by W H Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
...........................................................................
The Clock Of Life
"The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.
To lose one's wealth is sad indeed.
Too lose one's health is more.
To lose one's soul is such a loss
That no man can restore."
Today, only is our own.
So live, love and toil with a will.
Place no faith in tomorrow,
For the clock may soon be still.
By Robert H Smith
................................
-- Edited by Duh on Saturday 8th of June 2013 09:54:07 PM
And as they lower me into the ground, face down, backside aimed at the world above, I want my brother to say that "he was a down-to-earth kinda guy".
We are doing the same planning for the future too. And our kids have already been told this is what we want to happen.
Yes, you can get a cardboard coffin. Don't go for an eco coffin though unless you want to pay more. Sometimes you have to wait longer than this family did for the ashes though.
Our eldest is a funeral director and he doesn't say " Have you got enough for a retirement home?" He says, make sure you have enough to pay for your funeral. He suggests funeral bonds are better than pre-paid or plans. There is usually not enough money to pay for the funerals with the latter if you live long. Oh and PS. No, we probably don't have enough for our funeral - it will have to come out of the estate or their pockets. Hehe.
Interesting topic, Vic and I shall follow replies with great interest. I went into this a few years back and found that cardboard coffins were not much cheaper than the wooden ones. Seemed odd.
The cost of funerals is a scandal. I recall when my Mum died the funeral director trying to sell me some outrageously overpriced polished wood coffin on the basis of "only the best for Mother . . .", obviously trying to take advantage of my emotional state. He failed.
Cheers, Tony
Back in 2001, my friend was cremated. He was a keen surfer so his folks scattered his ashes at his local beach. Now whenever I'm at a beach - any beach, no matter where it is - I feel a special attachment. Sure beats the hell out of a headstone.
Hi, something we all must face, I maybe naive but I have never heard of funeral bonds, could you ask your eldest for an explanation and details, thanks.
Hazel was saying only yesterday that we must organise this before we go (start the trip), .
My boys know what I want and do not want and they have been threatened with haunting a if they do not adhere. Nothing fancy and certainly no cup of tea and bikkies after. Down to the pub for a good drink and party.
I think this a subject that not enough talk about while they are still of sound mind and body. My advise please do it before it is too late.
My late husband would not talk about what he wanted ever, finally spoke about things 4 weeks before he passed of cancer and by then we were dealing with other things and while I appreciated the conversation and finally his wishes it was more upsetting than if it had been spoken about in previous years. I have had my plans in place for years so he would have known had the tables been reversed.
Thanks again Duh for being brave enough to post the subject topic.
What would be good though is, get a wooden raft, pile it up with sticks etc, put my body on top, set fire to the lot then set me adrift on Greens Lake, Victoria. Something tells me though that can't happen.
I would never ever again scatter some one's ashes! He asked for that, and no memorial, but we needed more than that.
Doug,it would probably rain that day,even at Greens Lake
Still cold down south.cheers Peter
Gary - you can be donated to science - but they might be hard pushed to find a university who will take you. At some unis it is an 8 year wait to get the ashes back. It's become a popular way to deal with the cost of death - it costs nothing.
Yes, a cheap pine box could be cheaper than cardboard.
A funeral assistant told me recently they had a home made coffin brought in - trouble was, the person hadn't made it of light weight timber and it weighed 'a ton' to move around.
Poppy sore eye - yes, I'll find out about funeral bonds for you. I've been told but haven't remembered.
Gerty - I agree. Even if the person is cremated, there needs to be something for family and friends (such as the memorial service) - one of our rellies refused to allow anyone but immediate family to their funerals. This deprived friends and other family of the opportunity to grieve. Children should also be taken to funerals. My husband believes that if we all gather to celebrate when a baby is born, we should all gather to say goodbye when someone dies. They are both natural parts of life (and death).
A plaque in a memorial garden is the simplest form of tangible reminder of someone who has died. It gives those left behind a place to go to honour the person. It also means there is no maintenance and therefore no guilt at not maintaining a burial site.
Tonyd there was a takeover by American funeral companies at one stage and the 'caskets' were pushed and the top end of the funeral 'stuff' was pushed. Now some of those companies have been bought back by Australian ones. Always look for an Australian owned company or even better a family owned company.
Sorry, the funeral business is often a topic in our family with one of our boys having worked in it for many years. He was recently phoned by a local ABC radio host to ask about the songs people choose for funerals. Now that was an interesting topic - she went on for ages, asking many questions. He did point out that funerals are now more of a celebration of life than a mournful occasion.
Here endeth the third lesson.
Thank you all so much for your feedback on this very delicate subject, my ex wife died recently and I went to a cousin's funeral a week ago, got me thinking about my own mortality and medical condition, and what I would want if the inevitable happened.
I saw on a cemetery Q & A site that a prepaid funeral cost more (I know costs can rise over time, but they have your money earning interest in the meantime haven't they ????) and that only pays for the cremation costs and there may still additional costs added by the funeral directors even though prepaid, see the FAQ's here;
http://www.mcb.wa.gov.au/FuneralServices/FAQs.aspx
A friend of mine donated his body to science a few years ago, but his family still had a non religious service at a funeral directors without his body or ashes, had photos of him displayed and family and friends including the children spoke at the service, it was all very nice even though no body or ashes present. I was also given the honour of speaking about him too.
I am still thinking about what I want, I do have a favourite place by the Swan river I would like to have my ashes sprinkled off a gazebo over the river without broadcasting the fact a family member would be doing it. I am also wrestling with what I should plan for family and friends and am discussing this with family members at the moment. I do see the need for them to have a get together of some sort to allow those who wish to attend the opportunity to say goodbye if they wish, still working on that one though, I don't care for myself but that may be a selfish approach for others that care.
Spooky place, the internet. Came across this site by accident. They'll give you a quote by SMS!
http://www.australianfuneralprices.com.au/cpc/?gclid=CPTBs5PM1LcCFSZfpgodSV4AHg
Cheers, Tony
It's just a marketing ploy Tony, they want you to select them to do your funeral.....
RE: Cheapest Way To Have A Funeral ???? No 1, don't die,, No 2 Will we care,???? No 3 Jump into a pig pen , nothing will be left,,,,, May I stop here and say this ,, Us Baby boomers, its the best time of our life,, Why,!!??? No,1 We have no Peers, No 2 , kids are off our hands, No 3 its OUR time now .........and here we are , worrying about Dying, funerals,,, get excited about living , the rest will take care of itself,,,,, PS, Have told my kids, if you don't here from us , for 6 months , and you read in the News paper , Motor home discovered with two skeletions inside, one with a pipe in his mouth , Its Us,!!!! don't bother claiming us,,,hehehehe true ,,,,,,,, stay excited Nomads,,,,,, Billeeeeeeeee
-- Edited by billeeeeeee on Sunday 9th of June 2013 10:07:18 AM
The OP said budget. I checked about 6 years ago.
The clue is to get a small local funeral director. I said I did not want any service at all. Just pick up, no box, no service, no frills cremation and he puts the ashes around some plants (or wherever).
Anyhow, at the time a local funeral director said $700, no frills as stated. He couldn't quote for any distance arrangements. In that case the next of kin should find a small local like him and definitely not one of the biggies in town. Be firm about no frills, he said. Send ashes back if wanted, not a body.
I prefer that family have a private get together at home at some time after as they wish and organise themselves. Nothing to do with the funeral director.
A bigger problem is wording something so that I am not kept going after a severe stroke or a condition that compromises any reasonable quality of life. I cannot imagine anything worse than being kept alive if totally paralysed for example. My view on that has been consistent for many years. Someone must some usable wording or draft somewhere for Qld to avoid seeng that rogue of a lawyer again. [With apologies to any lawyers reading].
I agree Gerty, all very fine not "worrying" if that is the word to describe it, I call it planning like you have done to avoid leaving the problem and expense to others once you have gone, then forget about it an play.
My OP is to get ideas on what can be done with the planning and also how to keep my disposal within budget so I don't leave financial and other problems for others, no good blithely carrying on with life and leaving problems for others when you cark it.
Thanks for the feedback all and I agree with shekon about organ donation and making your wishes known, see;
http://www.donatelife.gov.au/ (one of my organs is already missing (live kidney donor) they can have the rest when i'm gone ).
-- Edited by Duh on Sunday 9th of June 2013 11:41:44 AM
Interesting that people do not wish to discuss this subject. When we took off we left all our POA's and bank details and Wills with our daughter. I have my personal funeral arrangements in my documents in my computer. A private cremation, ashes in a shoe box, kids out to dinner hopefully saying nice things about Mum and for them to place my ashes under a beautiful big gum tree which they will find and know I would love.
We lost our Mum and she would not discuss funerals but luckily out of the 12 of us kids I had taken it upon myself to have her do the necessary forms like POA and executors etc. I knew by talking with our Mum that she wanted lots of flowers and a lovely non religious funeral. She had all of that and it was beautiful. I now have a place to go to visit her along with our Dad who's ashes we had placed in with her.
My husband however has made no funeral plans. If he goes first he will be getting what I am having as he has said he does not want any fuss just thrown in a creek. Bit hard to do that one really.
It is very important to have things in place as we only have this minute and it is too much for families to take on the rest without knowing where things are and what to do.
Yes I have my organ donor card done as well although doubt there will be much to leave
-- Edited by pubertyblues on Sunday 9th of June 2013 12:03:40 PM
These documents made life easier for me at the end when medical staff wanted to put him on drips and things, I could say no. This is something we had always talked about anyway.
This also brings up another subject so many do not discuss with each other or extended family and that is organ donation. So so important. If there is an accident or a brain death the question will be asked. These subjects are such important ones that just another part of life.
When David get Cremated they will play, Great Balls Of Fire.
When I get Cremated I want, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
Now that's done, I don't have to worry any more, can forget about it and play.
they will take control of every thing leaving us to mourn..Have not started our travels as yet but it is good to know that these arrangements are already organised,
as you never know when your number is up...Alan.
Talking about what you want helps too. Unless doctors are told, their Hippocratic oath says they have to keep you alive.
For me? Well after what we have dealt with of late, I have told hubby I want to have a private cremation, no fuss, no hypocrits, no nothing! And dump my ashes in the passage for the fish and dugongs to feed on. I am S-O over my bl**dy family, they can all go whistle!! Might just drive off into the sunset and let 'em go look for me - never to be found! If that sounds selfish - let's just say, you don't know my lot.
Thanks for sharing this sensitive but important subject folks, it is much appreciated.
I am ringing a funeral place tomorrow to get an idea of what they will charge for the limited services I want.
Another question is, other than pre-paid which I don't want, what is the best way to have your funeral paid for when the time comes?
I believe in WA, banks will release funds for a funeral if they are presented with the bills.
I know with an Aunt of mine, the Public Trustees authorised her bank to pay for the funeral expenses on receipt of the bills from the funeral company, this can happen before probate is processed.