Why is the world full of toxic people, and tips please on coping with them.
Landfall said
04:51 PM Mar 12, 2012
blaze wrote:
I disagree wit some that has been said, I have a mate who is hard work at times. He been both a police officer and ambo which would have to be the 2 worst job choices for stress. He is now on a pension because of stress, often very negitive but he is a great mate who has lots of great stories to tell. So I say dont walk away but try to walk a mile or 2 in their shoes and try and understand and show some tolerance toward others cheers blaze
It depends on what we are talking about here?
If it is just an obnoxious person, as I said, just walk away.
If it is a friend who needs help or understanding, that's what friends are for.
I was under the impression that this thread was about the obnoxious/
Dusty
-- Edited by Landfall on Monday 12th of March 2012 04:52:22 PM
animalcarer said
07:32 PM Mar 12, 2012
I am not referring to Psycopaths. Or wallflowers. I am referring to people who constantly belittle other people . I have had my fair share of the good bad and ugly. I am referring to bullies, and oneupmanship, . I am referring to people who negate anything and everything. They are never happy, pleased with anything. If you served them the most magnificent meal on a gold plate, with the most beautiful music playing, the most glorious sunset,they would still moan.
Sheba said
08:14 PM Mar 12, 2012
Hi Lynette. You have to have at least a first contact to know whether or not they are toxic.
Once it is established, the best way to deal with them, is to just stop any further contact.
Cheers,
Sheba.
Gerty Dancer said
08:40 PM Mar 12, 2012
Wish it were that easy Sheba... sometimes we are related to them! You know the old saying.. "you can choose your friends but you are stuck with your rellies." Years ago I did a course on this... a day a week for 6 weeks. Not easy to just give tips, but basically nobody can upset you unless you allow it. You have to work on yourself to just not be upset, and look for something nice to focus on instead. Vic posted a lovely piece about finding good if thats what you look for.... Still not easy after that course and many more years of life experience. Good luck, Lynette.
Dougwe said
08:50 PM Mar 12, 2012
I tend to just ignore the negatives or negative people and look at the positive/s.
Like my tug, still haven't got it back but I can see that light at the end of the tunnel, that's a positive. Keeping cool about it all but annoyed about it at the same time.
bill12 said
09:06 PM Mar 12, 2012
As I have quoted before, "Nil Illegitimus Carbourumdum". Don,t let the basterds grind you down. In other words, ignore, if you can, load and vexatious people, or use them for crab bait.............
Gerty Dancer said
09:21 PM Mar 12, 2012
LOVE that saying Bill!!!
Landfall said
09:25 PM Mar 12, 2012
As the old saying goes, "Turn the other cheek, walk away and never associate with that person again." family or not.
We choose our friends carefully and ignore the rest as best we can.
We where at a friends house once (a professor of psychology) and he gave a toast, "To friends, easy to find, hard to keep." there has got to be a message in that somewhere?
IMO only a fool keeps banging their head into a wall to get a headache.
Dusty
blaze said
10:02 PM Mar 12, 2012
I disagree wit some that has been said, I have a mate who is hard work at times. He been both a police officer and ambo which would have to be the 2 worst job choices for stress. He is now on a pension because of stress, often very negitive but he is a great mate who has lots of great stories to tell. So I say dont walk away but try to walk a mile or 2 in their shoes and try and understand and show some tolerance toward others cheers blaze
PeterS said
12:18 AM Mar 13, 2012
What pleases one may not please another as a matter of fact may annoy hell outa them. My philosophy is to take people as they come and if they ''P'' you off just avoid them next time, but if you havnt got anything nice to say just shut up!
Sheba said
01:46 AM Mar 13, 2012
Landfall wrote:
I was under the impression that this thread was about the obnoxious/
Dusty
Me too.
Cheers,
Sheba.
dogbox said
02:16 AM Mar 13, 2012
it is starting sound like the one refering JOHNATHAN
milo said
02:25 AM Mar 13, 2012
PeterS wrote:
What pleases one may not please another as a matter of fact may annoy hell outa them. My philosophy is to take people as they come and if they ''P'' you off just avoid them next time, but if you havnt got anything nice to say just shut up!
thats how i try to live life too PeterS,always have, always will, it takes a lot to peeve me off and i try not to let it bother me, sometimes it doesnt always happen the way you'd like..
Rip and Rosie said
02:29 AM Mar 13, 2012
Had a friend comment to me this week re a stressful enocounter she witnessed.
One person said to the agressor " I would smack you in the face, but I don''t want to get stupid all over me"
I know it hurts when people are aggressive and bad mannered, but step back a bit, and realise just who is showing themselves up.
Rosie
Elle on Wheels said
02:34 AM Mar 13, 2012
Life is too short to waste on obnoxious people. You can choose who you spend energy on. Some like Blaze says have been though rough times and if you have a connection with them that's important to you then it's worth walking with them to the other side. But then there's the other lot who seem to have a need to make everything negative or turn your thought processes inside out or give you a hard time. Enough of that. i'd rather go fishing.
Rip and Rosie said
03:43 PM Mar 13, 2012
Me too, Elle, I''d rather be fishing, and, because I''m retired, I can !
Cruising Granny said
07:09 PM Mar 13, 2012
Friendship and support, even respect work both ways. If you don't get it you don't give it, you don't even get offended by it. There will be someone else who will give you friendship, support and respect, and to whom you can return the honour. Don't waste time on the non-givers. Not everyone can be our friends. Not everyone will support us. Not everyone deserves our respect. Just pick the good ones.
Loffty said
01:03 AM Mar 14, 2012
Cruising Granny wrote:
Friendship and support, even respect work both ways. If you don't get it you don't give it, you don't even get offended by it. There will be someone else who will give you friendship, support and respect, and to whom you can return the honour. Don't waste time on the non-givers. Not everyone can be our friends. Not everyone will support us. Not everyone deserves our respect. Just pick the good ones.
Same goes with family too C G. Well said....
animalcarer said
03:42 AM Mar 14, 2012
Thanks for that, as gerty said, its hard when it is rellies, I hate confrontation, but I have been known to do my prune (real bad) and scream my head off when I have been offended, it is likened to a nuclear fallout. I am trying very hard to bite my tongue. Since Howard got sick (andhe is now well) I have become like the little General. In other words I have become very short wicked when I dont get my own way (lol) or customer service , battling with insurance companies, banks, centrelink and any other half wit who sits behind a desk and tries to be difficult, unbending, etc. I cant wait until we bugger off, sorted through thousands of pces of clothing today, taking them to the charity shop. I am being ruthless, I guess there is change in the air. Pruning back, like a rosebush, getting rid of the nasty thorns.
Its real hard to nice, when you have had the wind taken from you.
I am hoping fishing by a river bank will turn me around, getting back to quietness, enjoying a sunset, and looking into a open fire. Cant wait. I dont want diamonds and pearls, I want peace, and my family (the boys) to be happy and contact me. It seems that the basic things in life is what we crave, but they are unobtainable, for want of trying to think why, its too hard.
I value this new column, it is very very helpful. I realise I may have had too much stress over a short period engulf me. I /We really want to do this bowel cancer awareness stint, because if one is focused on something and busy, it can have a positive effect.
Looking for farm sits in the Western Australia area, decided head to sydney then straight to WA to start our venture. Any ideas on farm sits in WA greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading my epistle to the apostle Paul
It depends on what we are talking about here?
If it is just an obnoxious person, as I said, just walk away.
If it is a friend who needs help or understanding, that's what friends are for.
I was under the impression that this thread was about the obnoxious/
Dusty
-- Edited by Landfall on Monday 12th of March 2012 04:52:22 PM
I am not referring to Psycopaths. Or wallflowers. I am referring to people who constantly belittle other people . I have had my fair share of the good bad and ugly. I am referring to bullies, and oneupmanship, . I am referring to people who negate anything and everything. They are never happy, pleased with anything. If you served them the most magnificent meal on a gold plate, with the most beautiful music playing, the most glorious sunset,they would still moan.
Hi Lynette. You have to have at least a first contact to know whether or not they are toxic.
Once it is established, the best way to deal with them, is to just stop any further contact.
Cheers,
Sheba.
Years ago I did a course on this... a day a week for 6 weeks. Not easy to just give tips, but basically nobody can upset you unless you allow it. You have to work on yourself to just not be upset, and look for something nice to focus on instead. Vic posted a lovely piece about finding good if thats what you look for.... Still not easy after that course and many more years of life experience.
Good luck, Lynette.
I tend to just ignore the negatives or negative people and look at the positive/s.
Like my tug, still haven't got it back but I can see that light at the end of the tunnel, that's a positive. Keeping cool about it all but annoyed about it at the same time.
As the old saying goes, "Turn the other cheek, walk away and never associate with that person again." family or not.
We choose our friends carefully and ignore the rest as best we can.
We where at a friends house once (a professor of psychology) and he gave a toast, "To friends, easy to find, hard to keep." there has got to be a message in that somewhere?
IMO only a fool keeps banging their head into a wall to get a headache.
Dusty
cheers
blaze
What pleases one may not please another as a matter of fact may annoy hell outa them. My philosophy is to take people as they come and if they ''P'' you off just avoid them next time, but if you havnt got anything nice to say just shut up!
Me too.
Cheers,
Sheba.
thats how i try to live life too PeterS,always have, always will, it takes a lot to peeve me off and i try not to let it bother me, sometimes it doesnt always happen the way you'd like..
One person said to the agressor " I would smack you in the face, but I don''t want to get stupid all over me"
I know it hurts when people are aggressive and bad mannered, but step back a bit, and realise just who is showing themselves up.
Rosie
There will be someone else who will give you friendship, support and respect, and to whom you can return the honour.
Don't waste time on the non-givers. Not everyone can be our friends. Not everyone will support us. Not everyone deserves our respect.
Just pick the good ones.
Same goes with family too C G. Well said....
Thanks for that, as gerty said, its hard when it is rellies, I hate confrontation, but I have been known to do my prune (real bad) and scream my head off when I have been offended, it is likened to a nuclear fallout. I am trying very hard to bite my tongue. Since Howard got sick (andhe is now well) I have become like the little General. In other words I have become very short wicked when I dont get my own way (lol) or customer service , battling with insurance companies, banks, centrelink and any other half wit who sits behind a desk and tries to be difficult, unbending, etc. I cant wait until we bugger off, sorted through thousands of pces of clothing today, taking them to the charity shop. I am being ruthless, I guess there is change in the air. Pruning back, like a rosebush, getting rid of the nasty thorns.
Its real hard to nice, when you have had the wind taken from you.
I am hoping fishing by a river bank will turn me around, getting back to quietness, enjoying a sunset, and looking into a open fire. Cant wait. I dont want diamonds and pearls, I want peace, and my family (the boys) to be happy and contact me. It seems that the basic things in life is what we crave, but they are unobtainable, for want of trying to think why, its too hard.
I value this new column, it is very very helpful. I realise I may have had too much stress over a short period engulf me. I /We really want to do this bowel cancer awareness stint, because if one is focused on something and busy, it can have a positive effect.
Looking for farm sits in the Western Australia area, decided head to sydney then straight to WA to start our venture. Any ideas on farm sits in WA greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading my epistle to the apostle Paul
lynette