Never Trust a Cricketer Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me, Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be
Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee
First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last! My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way; He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!
And watch for the leg-spinner, girls, another awkward chap. If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!
Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength; He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.
So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree. Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease! He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.
The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes. When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..
And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two; When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.
Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about; And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!
We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock, He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me: Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash; And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.
If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score; Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!
The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke, He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.
Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup; You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!
So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me: NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE! specially if his name b Warne (Anon)
Notice the selecters didNot get a mention , not werf torken about Richo
jimricho said
08:06 AM Jan 21, 2011
A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I
help you?"
"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park just down the road" she replied.
"Can you describe what happened?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a
man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my
underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with
me".
"Could you give me a description of him?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and
he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees,
one on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said
the Sergeant.
"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".
"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from
his accent?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
kazza said
09:05 PM Jan 21, 2011
We had a good laugh with these jokes.
-- Edited by kazza on Friday 21st of January 2011 09:05:57 PM
Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be
Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea
Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee
First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!
My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;
He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!
And watch for the leg-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!
Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;
He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.
So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!
He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.
The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.
When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..
And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;
When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.
Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;
And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!
We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;
And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.
If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!
The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.
Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;
You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!
So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:
NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!
specially if his name b Warne
(Anon)
Notice the selecters didNot get a mention , not werf torken about
Richo
-- Edited by kazza on Friday 21st of January 2011 09:05:57 PM