Mammograms Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough. EXERCISE TWO: Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
Allara said
02:03 PM Oct 15, 2010
Very well put!!!
drongo & wendy said
09:06 AM Oct 16, 2010
Strewth and I thought a cold hand on the nuts was a challenge
Ma said
09:07 AM Oct 16, 2010
You blokes don't know the half of it. I'll come back in the next life as a bloke.
Travel Bug said
11:38 PM Oct 16, 2010
This was clearly written by a woman who has "been there, done that"!!!
Cruising Granny said
08:45 PM Oct 17, 2010
I've always said I'm coming back as a bloke.
It's like having babies. They have all the fun getting them in there, but you try getting them out again. Girls do it.
Then there's the smear test, the internals, the manicures and the pedicures to keep up the happy image, and all that preeniing at the hairdressers. It's not easy being a girl.
Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
You blokes don't know the half of it. I'll come back in the next life as a bloke.