A doctor in Dublin wanted to get  off work and go fishing, so he approached his  assistant 

"Murphy, I am going fishing  tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to  take care of the clinic and take care of all me  patients". 

"Yes, sir!" answers  Murphy. 

The doctor goes fishing and  returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was  your day?" 

Murphy told him that he took care  of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did,  so I gave him Paracetamol." 
   
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second  one?" asks the doctor 

"The second one had indigestion  and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says  Murphy. 

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this  and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. 

"Sir, I was sitting here and  suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading  her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick!  For five years I have not seen any man!'" 

"Tunderin' lard Jesus, Murphy, what  did you do?" asks the  doctor. 

"I put drops in her  eyes."