i hate going up 2 mountains in the tardis, that we live near by, and most of the trips weve been on we've had to take them, and usually dads driving. and i try to be an extra pare of eyes when he's driving, and he yells at me when i say, "dad theres a car alon side us, !" as he's changing lanes, or trying to reverse the van, he tells me not to flip , but darn its hard not too..
im trying to do my best these days to keep quiet, on our first trip he tried to take out a service station, and then backed into the house when home.. what do i do......just shut up and grit my teath and just wait till its my turn to drive?
i love him , but man sometimes... its almost wanted me to say no to travelling with him.. he s not too bad for his age, but sometimes he just scares me, hmmm dunno,
-- Edited by milo on Monday 7th of December 2009 06:40:19 PM
rosey said
06:43 PM Dec 7, 2009
This sounds really scary Milo!!! Its not just a matter of keeping quiet like a good boy while he's driving, its dangerous...to other road users, as well as to you both!
Your Dads well into his 80's , and it is a fact that at that age our reaction time isnt so good any more, as well as eyesight and hearing not being so sharp. He probably recognises this, and doesnt want to admit it, so gets angry and flustered when he has a near-miss.
I think in NSW people over 80 have to have a medical certificate to renew their licence every year. For example my 85 year old Aunty just got her licence renewed with the restriction that she should not drive after dark as she cant see well enough....even though she drives quite well. Perhaps it would be safer if you had a word with his doctor about his driving? I know you'd feel like a traitor doing that but he might kill somebody!
Good luck to you both!!
ibbo said
07:18 PM Dec 7, 2009
Milo,just tell your old man to put on the cruise control.No worries then he can sit in the back and have a cuppa.Milo love your Dad whilst you still have him.I never knew my Dad he was killed in the war, ww2.I wish that I could have the same privilege as you to have my dad with me on an Adventure.Safe travels Milo and Dad.Cheers.Ibbo.
milo said
07:19 PM Dec 7, 2009
i have a feeling this comming year may be his last driving year, he does have a test towards the end of it, I try to do most of the driving,
i mean , around town and that he's fine, and he has been on many long trips on his own fine, in his car, but i do feel this is different, but i can only say so much,
ibbo said
07:22 PM Dec 7, 2009
Rose,sorry if I have cut in your reply to Milo.I am in no way trying to take away from your thoughts on Milos Dad and his driving abilities.Your comments are so valid and informed.Cheers.Ibbo.
rosey said
07:36 PM Dec 7, 2009
Probably the only thing I know about, is growing old! I've worked for 30 or so years in aged care. Sorry if I sound pessimistic, Milo...just want to see you both around for a lot longer.
milo said
07:41 PM Dec 7, 2009
thanks guys, its not so much his driving that worrys me, its his parking,
Disco Duck said
07:58 PM Dec 7, 2009
Yep............parking at 90k's an hour can be a problem..................... :)
ibbo said
10:07 PM Dec 7, 2009
You are mean Man Ducky.Lol cheers.ibbo.
Cruising Granny said
11:50 PM Dec 7, 2009
milo wrote:
thanks guys, its not so much his driving that worrys me, its his parking,
Oh Milo what a dilemma. I wouldn't take my dad anywhere with me. Different life.
You're lucky you can take you dad on the travels.
Maybe you could use your best diplomatic voice when you convince him to sit back and enjoy the ride while you drive - all the time.
Make it his holiday, and you're his escort. Ask him where he wants to go, what he wants to see, and you skillfully make sure you both get there, and back again.
Tell him to put his feet up, keep the camera at the ready, and make sure the dog is comfortable. Your dad could be the dog monitor while you are the vehicle monitor.
It takes a lot of understanding and tact to deal with stubborn old buggers we love.
I don't have any "old buggers" in my life anymore.
I don't even have a "new bugger" in my life. That's life. Be firm but kind.
ibbo said
06:59 AM Dec 8, 2009
Chris you have a whole lot of Forum Buggars in your life.Here is one who is going to Buggar of for brekkie.Cheers.Ibbo.
rosey said
09:07 AM Dec 8, 2009
Good one Chris...nice strategies. All aimed at win-win.
dave06 said
02:07 PM Dec 8, 2009
take him up north and put him down a big burrow, if anyone asks just say " a dingoe took my Daddy" you'd be surprised at how many folks will believe you!
grin and bear it Milo, or just say nope I'm driving and thats it, otherwise he'll end up killing you or someone else!
reza said
04:32 PM Dec 8, 2009
Hi Milo
Bet you talking about Camby and Barrengarry mountains they sure r not fun to pull a van or motorhome up but that the joys of living in the Shoalhaven as we both do mountains everywhere to get out
jandas fun said
04:34 PM Dec 8, 2009
Some years ago, my sister started getting complaints from the locals, where my mum lived,
that mum was driving down the country roads at 100k and on the wrong side of the road, often at night with no lights.
Police had been notified on occasion, but would/could not do anything, unless they
caught her.
Sis took her to her doctor, who changed one of her prescriptions to a different brand, and told her she could not drive any longer whilst on the new medication (actually the same as she had, just a different brand). Coming from her doctor, Mum accepted this and never drove again.
Johnw
Terro said
04:53 PM Dec 8, 2009
Scary thought. Will we ourselves realise when we have reached the point when we should no longer be driving? I don't know.
Terro
Rolly said
05:00 PM Dec 8, 2009
Terro wrote:
Scary thought. Will we ourselves realise when we have reached the point when we should no longer be driving? I don't know.
Terro
I will be doing what I claim that it should be compulsory for every driver to do:
I will take an advanced drivers' course at 5 year intervals.
My next is due in 2012.
Smokeydk said
08:20 PM Dec 8, 2009
Rolly..what have you done to yourself....We gonna have to call you "HOPPY" now!!!
Dave
Disco Duck said
09:56 PM Dec 8, 2009
Hoppy now rolls??
Rolly now Hops??
Rolly now hops and eats smelly fish??
Rolly now hops and eats smell fish and jumps through hoops??
Complete with a dwarf who lives in his belt ...............as an offsider!! ????
It's not quite the same as the tank with an office chair attached.......but what the hell!!
milo said
11:19 PM Dec 8, 2009
were supposed to be going away this weekend, but half of me doesnt want to go.
i just feel like im not interested in the van any more, like im over the whole travlling thing..
Ma said
11:36 PM Dec 8, 2009
Don't give up Milo. Get out there and go with the flow man. Try and put in place some of the suggestions put up here by your friends and fellow nomads and remember there is always someone here to give you support.
We only live 40 minutes from you and if you are travelling locally and need help just give a yell and we will be there as soon as we can be.
Hang in there my friend
Ma
Terro said
11:48 PM Dec 8, 2009
Beautiful offer Ma. Can I keep it on record for when I need it. LOL
Terro
Ma said
11:58 PM Dec 8, 2009
My offer is extended to Milo and every other grey nomad who needs a hand.
If it's geographically possible to be there to help then count on us.
rosey said
10:00 AM Dec 9, 2009
Your Dads not going to understand why you have lost your enthusiasm for travelling Jason, unless you make a time to sit down and truthfully tell him how you feel. Try not to make it a blame session, just that you'd feel happier to do the driving yourself...any of Chris's suggestions.
Good luck!!
Terro said
10:06 AM Dec 9, 2009
Would the local council have information on any counsellors that could tackle this touchy subject with Father. Better than having a complete rift between family members. Failing that as someone else suggested earlier the local doctor could have some influence. Difficult situation indeed.
Terro
Disco Duck said
11:34 AM Dec 9, 2009
That's an extremely kind offer Ma!! Good on you for that!!
If it isn't too much trouble...................our back garden needs digging over?? Am I too far away?? :)
Cruising Granny said
02:30 PM Dec 9, 2009
I'd go right out of my way for Ma's beef strog - lots and lots of kms out of the way.
Now if you can share Ma's strog with Guru's company you've got yourself a great time had by all.
Laughs, good times, genuine friendship and support are guaranteed. It will be worth the drive.
Jason, try and keep the nomad spirit, for yourself, and to share with Dad. Try to find the fun side of travelling with a grumpy old man and a dog. Maybe just take short trips so you don't have to perservere over a long time when he could become the "enemy". Try to be patient. Perhaps you could take a trip or two in between trips with him so you get to enjoy and experience for yourself, what this is really all about. Then you can take dad with a fresh outlook.
You started this for him, don't let yourself down, and don't be discouraged. Do it for him and yourself. My thoughts are with you.
For some reason, I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, I always feel I'm among friends on Nomads.
-- Edited by Cruising Granny on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 01:31:54 PM
-- Edited by Cruising Granny on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 01:34:02 PM
JRH said
02:36 PM Dec 9, 2009
Cruising Granny wrote:
For some reason, I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, I always feel I'm among friends on Nomads.
-- Edited by Cruising Granny on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 01:31:54 PM
-- Edited by Cruising Granny on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 01:34:02 PM
Chris that is because we are all such wonderfully good, friendly people. John
Rolly said
03:47 PM Dec 9, 2009
Cruising Granny wrote:For some reason, I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, I always feel I'm among friends on Nomads.
What a touching statement.
But, on the other hand (pardon the pun), as we all seem to be a bit 'touched'............
JRH said
03:52 PM Dec 9, 2009
Rolly wrote:
Cruising Granny wrote:For some reason, I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, I always feel I'm among friends on Nomads.
What a touching statement.
But, on the other hand (pardon the pun), as we all seem to be a bit 'touched'............
Meds time again??????????? :)
-- Edited by JRH on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 02:52:27 PM
i hate going up 2 mountains in the tardis, that we live near by, and most of the trips weve been on we've had to take them, and usually dads driving.
and i try to be an extra pare of eyes when he's driving, and he yells at me when i say,
"dad theres a car alon side us, !" as he's changing lanes, or trying to reverse the van, he tells me not to flip , but darn its hard not too..
im trying to do my best these days to keep quiet, on our first trip he tried to take out a service station, and then backed into the house when home..
what do i do......just shut up and grit my teath and just wait till its my turn to drive?
i love him , but man sometimes... its almost wanted me to say no to travelling with him..
he s not too bad for his age, but sometimes he just scares me,
hmmm dunno,
-- Edited by milo on Monday 7th of December 2009 06:40:19 PM
Your Dads well into his 80's , and it is a fact that at that age our reaction time isnt so good any more, as well as eyesight and hearing not being so sharp. He probably recognises this, and doesnt want to admit it, so gets angry and flustered when he has a near-miss.
I think in NSW people over 80 have to have a medical certificate to renew their licence every year. For example my 85 year old Aunty just got her licence renewed with the restriction that she should not drive after dark as she cant see well enough....even though she drives quite well. Perhaps it would be safer if you had a word with his doctor about his driving? I know you'd feel like a traitor doing that but he might kill somebody!
Good luck to you both!!
Oh Milo what a dilemma. I wouldn't take my dad anywhere with me. Different life. You're lucky you can take you dad on the travels. Maybe you could use your best diplomatic voice when you convince him to sit back and enjoy the ride while you drive - all the time. Make it his holiday, and you're his escort. Ask him where he wants to go, what he wants to see, and you skillfully make sure you both get there, and back again. Tell him to put his feet up, keep the camera at the ready, and make sure the dog is comfortable. Your dad could be the dog monitor while you are the vehicle monitor. It takes a lot of understanding and tact to deal with stubborn old buggers we love. I don't have any "old buggers" in my life anymore. I don't even have a "new bugger" in my life. That's life. Be firm but kind.
Bet you talking about Camby and Barrengarry mountains they sure r not fun to pull a van or motorhome up but that the joys of living in the Shoalhaven as we both do mountains everywhere to get out
Terro
I will be doing what I claim that it should be compulsory for every driver to do:
I will take an advanced drivers' course at 5 year intervals.
My next is due in 2012.
We only live 40 minutes from you and if you are travelling locally and need help just give a yell and we will be there as soon as we can be.
Hang in there my friend
Ma
Terro
If it's geographically possible to be there to help then count on us.
Good luck!!
Terro
-- Edited by Cruising Granny on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 01:31:54 PM
-- Edited by Cruising Granny on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 01:34:02 PM
John
But, on the other hand (pardon the pun), as we all seem to be a bit 'touched'............
-- Edited by JRH on Wednesday 9th of December 2009 02:52:27 PM