my dad is copping a lot of flack (aged 86) or what ever from the family,
i can understand where there coming from in his safety, i think he just wants to enjoy
his last few years, last few were crap when mum died from Alzheimers and  dementia ,
are we nuts for motor homing?

what did your family say?

I pray to my God that i am still here at age 86 and have a son or daughter that would still take me out there.
i am absolutely dumbfounded that some of his family or friends are not 100% behind him.
Yes, he wants to enloy his last few years. Why would anyone deny him that. No, you are not nuts, i wish you were my son.


Johnw


-- Edited by jandas fun on Monday 10th of August 2009 09:53:39 PM

Yeah, go get 'em! If he's relatively fit and active and his sense of reason is still reasonable, then what harm can he come to. As long as he's a competent, capable driver. Any of us can leave this earth at any time. Every day is a bonus, and it's up to us to make the most of it while we are still on this planet. The family should support him in whatever decision he makes. Perhaps they're jealous. The best they can do is keep in touch, even daily. Share his experiences and celebrate with him. Cheers Chris

G'Day Milo, The flack is only concern for your Dad, but he's in your company so he's in good hands. I say go for it and may the force be with you! At his age he knows what he wants and doesn't want to sit in a chair at home waiting for God ! I would try to keep the travel to short distances and set up early so he doesn't feel stressed, with maybe a day or two stay in some places so he can rest up. Go for it ! Vic PS: I remember a situation where I wanted to do something that there was some risk involved to my own life, I copped flack from some members of the family who didn't want me to do it, it was only out of concern. I ignored them and went ahead and did it and everything was ok after that.

Hi Milo I think it is wonderful that you and your Dad have this great relationship.I wish I had a chance to do same with my Dad and as we only have one go at life on this earth, make the most of our time here.Good luck on your travels and enjoy. Chris and Robbie

up their nose with a rubber hose, grab the old man and take off and thumb your nose at them on the way through yes you are bloody nuts, the same as all of us here are nuts, he's 86, how many more chances is he and you going to get, just have a contingency plan in place and be prepared for when the inevitable happens, he will probably have to be flown back to his chosen resting place and that can be expensive, depending on where you are at the time the family, as with all family, will leave it all up to you, I can hear them now........ "well you took him, you make sure he gets back, I dont want anything to do with it" be sure he has all his affairs "in order" with a clearly written will or you may be left with very little or worse a big bill (I know I sound harsh, but I been there, done that) happened before and it will again they are not all that interested in his or your well being or happiness just that it may infringe on them in some way or other, just place a plan in place and go, but be prepared, dont go in with eyes wide shut BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!

thanks every one, I guess I'm a bit down with all this , last year dad went to UK on his own, then I met him later on and he was fine. My dad and I already have our wills set up and organized, im almost 40 , never thought Id get this far with all my health problems , but now that im ok I want to make the most of it with dad, while i can, were planing a test run to south australia in october for 3 weeks to see how we get on, dog included.. so will be interesting, but hopefully fun.

Good luck to you and your Dad Milo.Remember when push comes to shove always pay yourself first.Your Dad is one lucky man to have ason as caring as you are.As usual Daves comments and remarks are spot on and well said.How many of us are in your position? you have certainly made me think.Cheers.Ibbo

Guru and I went and spoke with our local funeral parlour chap.  Very helpful fellow was Simon.

We were fortunate enough to be able to "pre-pay" our funerals (even got to pick our final bed) and there is a clause in the contract that if we are on holidays anywhere in Australia our left over bits will be brought back home INCLUDED in the price.  What's more the price we paid is the FINAL price as any increase between now and "whenever" is accounted for in the interest our money earns between times.

The only extra cost is if the family change anything like venue etc., but if they leave it how we set it up then 'IT'S HOME AND HOSED'

Just something for ya all to ponder on.

Ma

mate when you get into this area give me a yell and I will give you some pointers about some "must see" as Ibbo says put yourself first, dad second and the rest of the family after that, look after yourself enjoy your time together, I dont know what problems you have but good on you for wanting to share some "quality time" together with the old feller, none of us know how much time we have left to roam this land, enjoy today, who knows what tommorrow brings you're a good lad, you're dad would be a proud man having a son like you, I know I would be!!! dont be down about it, just do what you reckon is the "right" thing (whatever that is) everyone is different and we cant advise you to do this or dont do that, it's your road and you must walk it, your life, gotta be your choices but just remember anytime you want a yak or to bounce an idea around we are all here for you!!

Now is the time to enjoy life, the future is not in our hands thats for sure.

I don't think I want my last years staring at wall, playing bingo and waiting for the grim reaper mate.

Grab it with both hands and enjoy it. Your motor home has every comfort there is and you can take it at your own pace. Your dad can nap on the way but I bet he will be so full of excitement, his head will be flicking side to side so as not to miss a thing.

As a bloke who spends a fair bit of time with aged people the best strategy to keep them young is to provide mental and physical stimulation. Sure the time comes that you may have to have them placed in an aged care facility but if their brain is working and they have no real dissabilty that requires constant proffesional attention then keeping them doing what they like is actually vital to their well being. I can see the point of view of the rellies not wanting your Dad swanning around the country with you but their ideas are no longer current, belive me if your Dad was put into an aged care facility if his brain is functioning he would soon be dragged downhill by his association with the others who are not so mentaly capable.

Dementia, Altzheimers etc are natures anasthetic, the sufferers don't know you, yet you know them and they don't know that their are being "prepared" for their own departure, It's very very distressing to see someone have to go through this. I've shed many a tear for elderly Veteran Mates and it upsets the rellies more because they know Gracie, but not their own kids.

Many scientific tests have shown that to avoid this one has to remain mentally and physically active within the capabilities of the individual and certain personality types are more prone to Dementia than others. I confess to being scared out of my mind by ending up my days in a wheel chair, incompetant and incontenant and I harangue my Dr just about every visit asking for the "test", comes back negative every time but she says that if Dementia is caught early enough it can be treated. The trouble is when 2 elderly people are living together both will deteriorate at around the same rate if one is dependant on the other, if they are both independant and by that I mean if one can say to the other "I'm going to the beach for an hour" and the other says "OK I'll do some quilting and have lunch ready when you get back", rather than neither doing what they want because they don't want to do what the other wants or are SCARED of being left alone - that is the danger sign and is probably a generational thing but if you see it happening, interdict and get them seen to (impossible as that may be).

My inlaws worry me, she has had a stroke, he has dementia but no one wants to do anything for him, he of course says he does not alas all the signals are there, if you find yourself unable to order from a menu in a Cafe, if you find yourself getting "lost", if you find yourself hoarding food (blokes are hoarders of "stuff" and that is apparently normal) if you find yourself eating food and trying to hide it from others i.e. putting the plate in front of you and bending over it to eat and hiding it with your arms and if you find difficulty doing things you you know you have done before but can't figure out how to do it now eg paying a bill and if you find youself scared or intimidated by something new then for your own sake get the "test".... the old tests of drawing a clockface and remembering the name of the prime minister ( John Curtin) are for when it is obvoius that Dementia/Altzheimers are set in and are fairly advanced and are too late for treatment in reality.... This does not come on overnight but progresses slowly....

Yep take your Dad with you if he is up for it, as Dave says (with his eternal wisdom) just take all the sensible precautions, don't expect an 86 year old to scale Ayers Rock in mid summer unasisited.

I'm planning to be in the "members enclosure" at the Bicentenial re running of the Rainhill Trials in October 2029 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainhill_Trials 
Any of you going to come with me?

I can only agree with everything that's been said already Milo. Congratulations on being such a caring son, and have a ball with your dad while you both still can. Cheers, xina.

trust me if dad could go up ayres rock he would !, other than his knees giving him trouble with steps , he's fine, he spent last year tracking around the ww1 Battle fields in europe, and we spent alot of time in Uk, he spent 3 weeks in London on his own.. He is truely an amazing man, I just wish my family could see him the way I see him. we took the tardis out for a drive today, and he was great in it, and i reversed it back in our drive way at dusk with no problems. i guess we'll see when we get some k's under our belts,,...

You go for it Milo!!!   What a wonderful area we live in down here on the South coast of NSW.  You might want to have a little outing down to Mollymook beach, scenery is beaut.  A good sized carpark too.

While you're at it why don't you and Dad drop in for a cuppa.  Love to meet you. Just let me know when you are coming so I can make some scones.

Ma

Ma wrote:

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You go for it Milo!!!   What a wonderful area we live in down here on the South coast of NSW.  You might want to have a little outing down to Mollymook beach, scenery is beaut.  A good sized carpark too.

While you're at it why don't you and Dad drop in for a cuppa.  Love to meet you. Just let me know when you are coming so I can make some scones.

Ma

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Jeeeeeeezs Milo I never got the offer of scones..... AND it was my idea for the dubious duo to Buy an old ferry and make a floating restaurant out of it.....

 

Hey Basil, what about the carrot cake??

scones and milo, why am I suddenly hungry???????????

Mate at 86 every day above ground has to be seen as a bonus in my book . Just Do It As for upfront payment of funeral cost it sound good . My dad paid into a funeral fund for years, when he gave up work that was regarded as his final payment, had books of stamps from one end of the house to the other . When it came time to claim the fund or the funeral home as it was then had ceased to trade so that was the end of that . They do have greater regulation now so I'm told

you get out there boy, dont let the folks hold you back

Good on you Milo,
Wish we were heading out as well :(
Barb