He ran and I didn't chase or cry. My confidence is just shaken by the heartlessness of it all.
beiffe said
08:48 PM Nov 22, 2011
Just get on with life CG. I had a partner that wanted to hang around the family. Stay a couple of hours no more from family. I said I was going off for a drive and forgot to go back. That was 3 years in Feb. She still rings to see where I am but I will stay solo now as it is less complicated.
I go where I want when I want and I don't offend anyone.
I do voluntary work and like what I do and she was frightened she might be expected to do something.
If you have the need to travel then you have to do it or you will regret it for ever. We all worked hard for what we have and I am sure not leaving it to kids that cant give you the time of the day or care two sh*Ts what you are doing.
I have lots of friends of both sexes but always like to stay at arms length as then it stays civil.
I suppose if you want the trimmings then it is there for some, but for me I would rather have a good coffee.
I meet lots of people of bith sexes that have left their partners at home and they are having a ball on the road. There is always someone there to help and give you company and bolster your ego if you get down, but you must satisfy the hunger to travel and see this lovely country we call home.
Regards Brian
Elle on Wheels said
08:53 PM Nov 22, 2011
Yeah - what a spineless user hey. Couldn't imagine you chasing anyone CG unless it was with an axe :). But the important thing is to not let this shake your overall trust in people.
I'm in a situation where a very long standing friend has shafted me professionally and I am in the process of trying to work out whether I can keep the friendship in the long term. The specific work environment is toxic and there were complex reasons for a particular course of action but I'm left with the one question of whether I can salvage a friendship where the trust has been broken and the second of whether I should allow a toxic environment destroy a bloody good friendship. Too complicated for me at the moment and a bit of passage of time might supply some answers.
In the meantime I having some very interesting dreams about the issue.
Chin up CG and the heartlessness is a total proof of the accurateness of your instincts.
billeeeeeee said
10:43 PM Nov 22, 2011
Hi Granny, am sad for You, always remember, there is a difference between a male ,and a Man......enjoy who You are..............Billeeeeeeee
hang in there cruisin granny, some one will come along unexpectedly,
Rip and Rosie said
09:17 AM Nov 23, 2011
I reckon its easier to be the leaver than the left......after some personal experience.
Never nice to be committed to some one and then "it's over" comes when you weren't prepared for it, or ready to cut loose.
it's not fair, and wrecks your confidence and breaks your heart.
It also leaves you hoping the lover will return, all will be mended "if only" ..... takes a lot of head work to get rid of that.
If I can't love them, I have to hate them, at least for a while.............. can't move from lover to friend that fast..... if ever.
Rosie
Cruising Granny said
06:59 PM Nov 23, 2011
I wasn't really committed more than "friend", but it was the attitude and behaviour which shook me up a bit. Totally out of the blue, but he was a bit needy and dependent, and not prepared to be supportive, so it was an empty barrel.
Dear sweet dandelion, I don't hold my breath, but it would be nice to have someone to share stuff with.
rvtraveller2 said
01:20 AM Nov 24, 2011
Go pauline should be for both of you to enjoy together,have come across nomads travelling with out there partner, could not travell with out my partner if i had one. solo nomad. rvtraveller2
RALPHRALPH said
08:42 AM Nov 24, 2011
be your self if they cant except it there not worth been friends,life is short to be compelate things, embrance each sun rise
Cruising Granny said
09:10 PM Nov 24, 2011
That's one of my mottos of life. "Take me as I am, because you won't like me as anyone else."
jules47 said
06:11 AM Nov 25, 2011
Good motto CG - I always say - this is who I am, like it or lump it - took me too long to get this way to change again.
Cruising Granny said
08:30 PM Nov 25, 2011
Elle on Wheels wrote:
Yeah - what a spineless user hey. Couldn't imagine you chasing anyone CG unless it was with an axe :). But the important thing is to not let this shake your overall trust in people. Chin up CG and the heartlessness is a total proof of the accurateness of your instincts.
Nah, I'm a lover not a fighter. I've been down the violence route too, and I didn't like it.
Most of the time I know I'm ok, but then something happens to make my confidence waver. And then I get on to GN and it's all good again. I've never had my own personal cheer squad, so this is as close at it gets I reckon. A bit like a fan club eh?
Ma said
08:56 PM Nov 25, 2011
GRANNY GRANNY YEAH YEAH YEAH GO GRANNY GO
(picture cheer squad with pompoms)
Cruising Granny said
09:31 PM Nov 25, 2011
Oh Elaine, Elaine, Elaine my friend, what would I do without you, Blue and my GN friends. I like it here. Thanks mates.
Dougwe said
07:59 AM Nov 26, 2011
Cruising Granny wrote:
Elle on Wheels wrote:
Yeah - what a spineless user hey. Couldn't imagine you chasing anyone CG unless it was with an axe :). But the important thing is to not let this shake your overall trust in people. Chin up CG and the heartlessness is a total proof of the accurateness of your instincts.
Nah, I'm a lover not a fighter. I've been down the violence route too, and I didn't like it.
Most of the time I know I'm ok, but then something happens to make my confidence waver. And then I get on to GN and it's all good again. I've never had my own personal cheer squad, so this is as close at it gets I reckon. A bit like a fan club eh?
I know what you mean about GN Chrissy. GN has been a great help to me over the last month or so. I really enjoy the "cyber space" friendships on GN and hope to meet a few GN's in MY travels.
jules47 said
08:36 AM Nov 26, 2011
Doug - have met a few gn members - lovely lovely people - and you are from Wonthaggi - my aunty used to live there - Monica Wardle
Dougwe said
01:26 PM Nov 26, 2011
jules47 wrote:
Doug - have met a few gn members - lovely lovely people - and you are from Wonthaggi - my aunty used to live there - Monica Wardle
Hi Julie, I know a Steve Wardle, he is actually my mechanic and has been for 5 years now. Do you know if they are related at all. Most people around Wonthaggi that have the same last name are related.
jules47 said
03:34 PM Nov 26, 2011
Possibly a son of "young" Ed Wardle who is my cousin - (dad was Ed as well - worked in the coal mines there) - have relos in Inverloch - Kenny and Joan Bell - he used to be a plumber - well retired now - if they are still going - don't keep in touch - since aunty died. Are you a born and bred wonthaggite?
Beth54 said
04:16 PM Nov 26, 2011
I've just been catching up on some threads after returning from Cooloola, and came across yours CG.
I've found all the advise/help very interesting. I've been a solo for 10 years now, with just a couple of short romances along the way. I thought I still wanted someone special in my life, but over the years I found independance, and no longer 'look' for that someone. If he turns up, well and good, but if he doesn't that's okay too.
I have a history of trying to fit into their life and I hope now that I've got the good sense that you have CG, and tell them to jump!
You did good CG!
-- Edited by Beth54 on Saturday 26th of November 2011 04:17:26 PM
Dougwe said
06:08 PM Nov 26, 2011
jules47 wrote:
Possibly a son of "young" Ed Wardle who is my cousin - (dad was Ed as well - worked in the coal mines there) - have relos in Inverloch - Kenny and Joan Bell - he used to be a plumber - well retired now - if they are still going - don't keep in touch - since aunty died. Are you a born and bred wonthaggite?
No, my wife was born here then her family moved away when she was 3. We both holiday'd in this area for 5 years and moved here 10 years ago so have been around this area for 15 years. I lost my wife to cancer in May this year and she died at our home here in Wonthaggi, that was her wish and I was able to achieve that for her. She was born in the hospital and died just on the other side of the road to the hospital. She joked that when she dies she would have done the circle of life. Steve Wardle is in early 40's I would guess. I will ask next time I see him.
Cruising Granny said
07:24 PM Nov 26, 2011
Beth54 wrote:I thought I still wanted someone special in my life, but over the years I found independance, and no longer 'look' for that someone. If he turns up, well and good, but if he doesn't that's okay too.
I have a history of trying to fit into their life and I hope now that I've got the good sense that you have CG, and tell them to jump!
You did good CG!
-- Edited by Beth54 on Saturday 26th of November 2011 04:17:26 PM
I get that Beth. It's not that I'm lonely, it would be good to share what I'm enjoying. Just mutual friendship. Closeness, laughs, intelligent discussion.
I've had a few false starts over the years, and keep finding out why the blokes are single. I already know why I'm single. Independence scares them. I can mow lawns, change light bulbs and put the rubbish out. What else is there? Oh, yeah cars - changing tyres, installing roof racks - been there, done that.
As far as I can determine I'd be an asset, not a liability, to a friendship. I'm less tolerant of idiots these days, so that may limit my options.
Ma said
08:09 PM Nov 26, 2011
Don't you EVER change Christine, we love you just as you are, warts and all........
gordon_adl said
09:31 PM Nov 26, 2011
CG...speaking from the 'younger' generation, just buy yourself a vibrator for any intimate needs. If and when you need a hug, just get that from the local pub wherever you are in this great country. Hugs are free...short term relationships costs far too much, both emotionally and economically.
Beth54 said
01:42 PM Nov 27, 2011
gordon_adl wrote:
CG...speaking from the 'younger' generation, just buy yourself a vibrator for any intimate needs. If and when you need a hug, just get that from the local pub wherever you are in this great country. Hugs are free...short term relationships costs far too much, both emotionally and economically.
I'm not commenting on the 'intimate needs' but I can certainly understand the need for hugs, but I'd be a little wary of hugging someone at the pub!
-- Edited by Beth54 on Sunday 27th of November 2011 01:43:07 PM
Cruising Granny said
03:03 PM Nov 27, 2011
gordon_adl wrote:
CG...speaking from the 'younger' generation, just buy yourself a vibrator for any intimate needs. If and when you need a hug, just get that from the local pub wherever you are in this great country. Hugs are free...short term relationships costs far too much, both emotionally and economically.
That's all a bit too impersonal and shallow. At my age I'd probably have to pay a very wobbly drunk for a poor quality hug. So I'm better off without.
I try to avoid short term relationships for the reasons mentioned. I don't need a relationship, just good, honest friendship I can trust and depend on, otherwise I'm better off without.
lilly31 said
03:43 PM Nov 27, 2011
Good friend are so important to us all ....As for more i think as most of us get older we get into our our mode and it hard to let someone in to that ..if it happens it nice ..But for me they have to want same i do from life now ..and that is hard to find ........ I have lots of single male friends who help me out with non- female things that i cant do like rewireing the camper .. fixing the shocks..building a fence ect and i do stuff for them in return as in usually geting their house in so kind of order or cook food when they haveing family home or doing some shoping for them .. it work out well ... as for the intimate stuff welll we leave that one alone ...
Cruising Granny said
07:35 PM Nov 27, 2011
No questions, no pack drill Lilly. I like your "arrangement". I have mates for that too, but if they don't make any efforts to keep their houses clean I'm not going in there to do it for them. I'm finding blokes my age are over relationships as well, but like to have company around. There comes another glitch. Do I want and enjoy their company, and do they enjoy my company? I'm selective and fussy who I spend my time with. When did this stuff get so hard? When we were younger our hormones did the thinking for us. What happened to that? I lost a few of my hormones and "sensible" kicked in. I don't put up with crap anymore. I also don't have family around for support and loving hugs. If I could just find a personal cheer squad to be on my side. Oh, I can depend on my GN companions for most of it. Jeez I'm becoming a moaner. Enough!
lilly31 said
08:54 PM Nov 27, 2011
CG ...I only tidy up a house if they are not well or have kids comeing vist put a women touch on it so kids dont worry to much LOL.. ..I find most of us our age who are single are happy been solo for all sort of different reasons... and maybe we have relise that we can do it on our own too..... But hugs are good too... knowing people care about you because you are their friend is good feeling too.... This stuff has alway been hard it only as we get older we think is it realy worth the pain that some time it brings
Beth54 said
09:09 PM Nov 27, 2011
Good hugs are hard to find though. My brother-in-law is always good for a big bear hug,,his brother too. I've known them since I was 14.
But generally other men only give a tentative hug. C'mon guys! Bear hugs!
saw this, and its true
I go where I want when I want and I don't offend anyone.
I do voluntary work and like what I do and she was frightened she might be expected to do something.
If you have the need to travel then you have to do it or you will regret it for ever. We all worked hard for what we have and I am sure not leaving it to kids that cant give you the time of the day or care two sh*Ts what you are doing.
I have lots of friends of both sexes but always like to stay at arms length as then it stays civil.
I suppose if you want the trimmings then it is there for some, but for me I would rather have a good coffee.
I meet lots of people of bith sexes that have left their partners at home and they are having a ball on the road. There is always someone there to help and give you company and bolster your ego if you get down, but you must satisfy the hunger to travel and see this lovely country we call home.
Regards
Brian
I'm in a situation where a very long standing friend has shafted me professionally and I am in the process of trying to work out whether I can keep the friendship in the long term. The specific work environment is toxic and there were complex reasons for a particular course of action but I'm left with the one question of whether I can salvage a friendship where the trust has been broken and the second of whether I should allow a toxic environment destroy a bloody good friendship. Too complicated for me at the moment and a bit of passage of time might supply some answers.
In the meantime I having some very interesting dreams about the issue.
Chin up CG and the heartlessness is a total proof of the accurateness of your instincts.
Hi Granny, am sad for You, always remember, there is a difference between a male ,and a Man......enjoy who You are..............Billeeeeeeee
Never nice to be committed to some one and then "it's over" comes when you weren't prepared for it, or ready to cut loose.
it's not fair, and wrecks your confidence and breaks your heart.
It also leaves you hoping the lover will return, all will be mended "if only" ..... takes a lot of head work to get rid of that.
If I can't love them, I have to hate them, at least for a while.............. can't move from lover to friend that fast..... if ever.
Rosie
Dear sweet dandelion, I don't hold my breath, but it would be nice to have someone to share stuff with.
Go pauline should be for both of you to enjoy together,have come across nomads travelling with out there partner
, could not travell with out my partner if i had one. solo nomad. rvtraveller2
be your self if they cant except it there not worth been friends,life is short to be compelate things, embrance each sun rise
Nah, I'm a lover not a fighter. I've been down the violence route too, and I didn't like it.
Most of the time I know I'm ok, but then something happens to make my confidence waver. And then I get on to GN and it's all good again. I've never had my own personal cheer squad, so this is as close at it gets I reckon. A bit like a fan club eh?
GRANNY GRANNY YEAH YEAH YEAH GO GRANNY GO
(picture cheer squad with pompoms)
I like it here.
Thanks mates.
I know what you mean about GN Chrissy. GN has been a great help to me over the last month or so. I really enjoy the "cyber space" friendships on GN and hope to meet a few GN's in MY travels.
Hi Julie, I know a Steve Wardle, he is actually my mechanic and has been for 5 years now. Do you know if they are related at all. Most people around Wonthaggi that have the same last name are related.
I've just been catching up on some threads after returning from Cooloola, and came across yours CG.
I've found all the advise/help very interesting. I've been a solo for 10 years now, with just a couple of short romances along the way. I thought I still wanted someone special in my life, but over the years I found independance, and no longer 'look' for that someone. If he turns up, well and good, but if he doesn't that's okay too.
I have a history of trying to fit into their life and I hope now that I've got the good sense that you have CG, and tell them to jump!
You did good CG!
-- Edited by Beth54 on Saturday 26th of November 2011 04:17:26 PM
No, my wife was born here then her family moved away when she was 3. We both holiday'd in this area for 5 years and moved here 10 years ago so have been around this area for 15 years. I lost my wife to cancer in May this year and she died at our home here in Wonthaggi, that was her wish and I was able to achieve that for her. She was born in the hospital and died just on the other side of the road to the hospital. She joked that when she dies she would have done the circle of life. Steve Wardle is in early 40's I would guess. I will ask next time I see him.
I get that Beth. It's not that I'm lonely, it would be good to share what I'm enjoying. Just mutual friendship. Closeness, laughs, intelligent discussion.
I've had a few false starts over the years, and keep finding out why the blokes are single. I already know why I'm single. Independence scares them. I can mow lawns, change light bulbs and put the rubbish out. What else is there? Oh, yeah cars - changing tyres, installing roof racks - been there, done that.
As far as I can determine I'd be an asset, not a liability, to a friendship. I'm less tolerant of idiots these days, so that may limit my options.
Don't you EVER change Christine, we love you just as you are, warts and all........
I'm not commenting on the 'intimate needs' but I can certainly understand the need for hugs, but I'd be a little wary of hugging someone at the pub!
-- Edited by Beth54 on Sunday 27th of November 2011 01:43:07 PM
That's all a bit too impersonal and shallow. At my age I'd probably have to pay a very wobbly drunk for a poor quality hug. So I'm better off without.
I try to avoid short term relationships for the reasons mentioned. I don't need a relationship, just good, honest friendship I can trust and depend on, otherwise I'm better off without.
Good friend are so important to us all ....As for more i think as most of us get older we get into our our mode and it hard to let someone in to that ..if it happens it nice ..But for me they have to want same i do from life now ..and that is hard to find ........ I have lots of single male friends who help me out with non- female things that i cant do like rewireing the camper .. fixing the shocks..building a fence ect and i do stuff for them in return as in usually geting their house in so kind of order or cook food when they haveing family home or doing some shoping for them .. it work out well ... as for the intimate stuff welll we leave that one alone ...
I'm finding blokes my age are over relationships as well, but like to have company around. There comes another glitch. Do I want and enjoy their company, and do they enjoy my company? I'm selective and fussy who I spend my time with.
When did this stuff get so hard? When we were younger our hormones did the thinking for us. What happened to that?
I lost a few of my hormones and "sensible" kicked in. I don't put up with crap anymore.
I also don't have family around for support and loving hugs. If I could just find a personal cheer squad to be on my side.
Oh, I can depend on my GN companions for most of it.
Jeez I'm becoming a moaner. Enough!
Good hugs are hard to find though. My brother-in-law is always good for a big bear hug,,his brother too. I've known them since I was 14.
But generally other men only give a tentative hug. C'mon guys! Bear hugs!