Granny PLEASE!!!! Sheesh!! It's almost as if we had no idea on what we are doing......!!
As I have said on many occassions..... We are the consumate professionals.
All you need to do is to have our bill paid.........cash in advance.........and you are as good as cured!! I can't understand what the damn problem is here!! Pay the money.......let us do the job and everyone is happy!! Is it so difficult??
P.S. NO REFUNDS!! Our warranty covers the stuff-ups!.........hang on.........I never said that. I meant.......should there be the least likelyhood of anything going wrong and I might add.....the possibillity is very remote.........then I believe my vehicle comprehensive insurance covers it. (well in the fine print it said something about accidents) so I guess we are okay???
Basil Faulty said
10:33 AM Dec 14, 2009
I think you are all way off track here for a group of believers. If I may be so bold as to suggest the simple solution; Find a paddock with a wheat crop, enter it wearing your alfoil beanie after dark and the grand most exalted head alien master of the universe and all he surveys will (if his wife lets him out) abduct you, leave a crop circle, discover you are faulty, fix you and dump you back in Little Rock, Arkansas completley cured ready to be interviewed by L ron H's brethren. You will become an overnight international success (even better than Susan Boil), agents will be all over you like ants at a picnic....
DeBe said
12:25 PM Dec 14, 2009
-Hows thatDucky- Edited by DeBe on Monday 14th of December 2009 10:10:24 PM
-- Edited by DeBe on Monday 14th of December 2009 10:11:28 PM
Disco Duck said
03:18 PM Dec 14, 2009
Yep they do DeBe....................I was only saying that to allay any fears that Granny may be harbouring!!
I was under the impression Basil..... that if we wear the alfoil beanie........then we would NOT be abducted?? Yet your instructions state "to wear it"
I am confused Captain!!
ibbo said
08:42 PM Dec 14, 2009
Disco Mate.De Be should not make such comments,hell Chris reads these ravings.How do you think her mental state is after all the thread remarks.We now have a huge problem getting Granny to have faith in us again.I must add that we will not charge her for renewing her faith,as I have told you previously I was in fact an Apprentice Priest and I think I may have enough Popey Points left to enable Granny to be put at rest.No Disco,"put at rest" not laid at "Rest'.Now before any of you grotty persons make any remarks about Granny and her resting place,I will add without fear or favour(note the Aussie spelling)the word laid was meant as resting in bed,on asofa,bar stool,or shoulder.have I made my self clear?Also why is Granny in the Harbour?Fishing for Allays I suppose.Time to go,Matron has my Teddy Bear with her and he wants to to Beddy Byes.Cheers.Ibbo.
Basil Faulty said
09:30 PM Dec 14, 2009
Disco Duck wrote:
Yep they do DeBe....................I was only saying that to allay any fears that Granny may be harbouring!!
I was under the impression Basil..... that if we wear the alfoil beanie........then we would NOT be abducted?? Yet your instructions state "to wear it"
I am confused Captain!!
No the Alfoil beanie is strictly to prevent your mind being read. It allows you to be tracked and I did post a discourse on the stealth alfoil beanie designed to overcome the "tracking". At this stage there is no way known to prevent abduction apart from being an Aussie, for reasons that are unclear Aussies are rarely abducted unless they put themselves at risk ie in a wheatfield about to be harvested.... I'd suggest to gain the inner knowledge that you check out the first hand accounts by Whitby Strieber, a brief synopisis here; http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/paraskeptics/alienabduction2.htm
Disco Duck said
10:12 PM Dec 14, 2009
Thanks for clearing that up Basil.........
I knew you would never have been wrong in what you said .......so I figured there was an explanation!!
The only thing I'm not really happy with, is you trying to do Ibbo and myself out of a fair quid by coming up with alternative medicine!! We have consumed copious amounts of alcohol to get ready for this and Ibbo has done at least 15 minutes of research, as he is head surgeon. He now knows the difference between the left and right adrenalin gland!!
I think we should be shown some respect and ask that you do not...........although we realise it is with the best of intentions........recommend any alternative medical procedures!!
Disco Duck said
10:14 PM Dec 14, 2009
It's okay Ibbo......I have asked the webmaster to blank out DeBe's post from Granny's eyes, so she will not be able to read it. Our secret is safe!!
A little more decorum please DeBe!!
DeBe said
11:14 PM Dec 14, 2009
Sorry about the lack of decorum!!! Daryl
Disco Duck said
11:24 PM Dec 14, 2009
hehehehe DeBe...........you are forgiven LOL
Hey Ibbo........Granny is fihing in the harbour to raise money to pay us for the op.
Cruising Granny said
12:07 AM Dec 15, 2009
You bunch of b..stards are nuts! You're supposed to use the alcohol for sterilising, not imbibing.
Now I'm a tiny bit nervous. Refer to new topic.
ibbo said
06:37 AM Dec 15, 2009
Good news is on it's way.Ducky and I have had a word in the Surgeons ear.We may not be needed after all.Cheers.Ibbo.
JRH said
02:14 PM Dec 15, 2009
Basil wrote
At this stage there is no way known to prevent abduction apart from being an Aussie, for reasons that are unclear Aussies are rarely abducted unless they put themselves at risk ie in a wheatfield about to be harvested.... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Any body wishing to be abducted should become a yank, everthing happens to the yanks.
-Hows thatDucky- Edited by DeBe on Monday 14th of December 2009 10:10:24 PM
-- Edited by DeBe on Monday 14th of December 2009 10:11:28 PM
No the Alfoil beanie is strictly to prevent your mind being read. It allows you to be tracked and I did post a discourse on the stealth alfoil beanie designed to overcome the "tracking". At this stage there is no way known to prevent abduction apart from being an Aussie, for reasons that are unclear Aussies are rarely abducted unless they put themselves at risk ie in a wheatfield about to be harvested....
I'd suggest to gain the inner knowledge that you check out the first hand accounts by Whitby Strieber, a brief synopisis here; http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/paraskeptics/alienabduction2.htm
At this stage there is no way known to prevent abduction apart from being an Aussie, for reasons that are unclear Aussies are rarely abducted unless they put themselves at risk ie in a wheatfield about to be harvested....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Any body wishing to be abducted should become a yank, everthing happens to the yanks.